Michael Damien

Face It

2008-08-10T01:22:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure how to say this, especially when I've been a huge resistance to the idea of it all, but I (somehow) have a Facebook account, the bane of life. However, the twist is, I'm not managing it. So for the poor victims who are subjected to the landlslide of information available there, do not panic. There are two reasons why.

Welcome

1. You know very well I'll NEVER have a facebook. Or at least until I find one good reason to have it.

2. I actually granted permission to my "managers" to handle that account, and whatever funny and weird things you've encountered are not unbeknownst to me. Treat this as a chance to laugh at me, because sometimes, people forget to laugh at themselves. I find this whole ordeal amusing.

Facebook has been an issue of little importance to me, or any at all. Call me crazy, but leaving all your information lying around so carelessly and publicly can lead to the Internet being one of the most dangerous weapons in existance. I've always had a bad feeling about it, and I still do. Even blogging doesn't seem safe anymore. Imagine. Careful sourcing can tell anyone where you live, what you look like, what you are currently doing, how you live your life, what connections you may have, and so on. The scope of information anyone can retrieve is almost infinite. And they don't need hacking or malicious codes to do all this. It's just there, just ripe for the picking. How can we tell that whoever's watching and observing us aren't using this web of information in a wrong manner? So far, it seems we can never tell. Just where do the words privacy exist on the Internet?

blog

As much as I am against having an account, I do not reject the qualities that it has. I'm not an experienced user, but I know it well enough to know some of the applications and options it offers. It's not a wonder that it is the leading social networking application on the web. Alas, my interest wanes at such things now. Having gone through Friendster and Multiply, I can conclude the extent of my use of them.

stranger.

1. To post pictures so I can share what I've been doing and how I look like each day.

Enjoy

2. To write details and other relevant information as to my past, present and future state, be it contacts, location, aspirations, et cetera.

your

3. To be reminded of mine and everyone's birthday, even if they're not that close in your life.

stay!

4. To browse through my friends' and other people's accounts and check their versions of 1 to 3.

Regards,

Maybe I see too far into the future, but that's how I've always been. Always seeing the big picture, although, not always perfectly.

Ahmad.

In any case, this post is here to inform you about this new turn of events. Laugh it up.

I Love The Whole World

2008-05-26T16:42:00.001+08:00

All Aboard

2007-08-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

For the past nine months, I've been living the life that most people could have wished for. No sense of urgency to go to work. (Except for the 3 3/4 months I spent at a law firm.) An independant power to schedule yourself to whatever activities you like, at any time. Long, intensive hours of gaming were never considered a hindrance to anything. Midnight supper at 24-hour food centres was always an option easily made. It was a life without care, you'd wish you were caught in that timeframe forever. It seemed long, but then again, it felt short. That was basically my ultimate holiday, the last of its kind probably.

If you've been wondering why I've not been posting new entries, it's probably because I've used up most of my time doing things that I'vealways wanted to do, and I can't spare that much a time to post entries at all. But here I am again, back here. A sign that says "Shit, I'm back on the main road."

I've been in school for about 2 weeks now, and although I miss the old days of slacking and gaming, it's been an interesting experience here. Being out of the education path for 2 years and 8 months makes you feel like a rusty engine, forcing itself to work again, with heavy effort. Alas, I'm slowly reaching that educational pace again, so hopefully, I'll reach it soon. It's never good to lag too far behind. That aside, here's a summarised list of things that's happened so far in school.

3rd August, Friday:
Went to collect my hall key, as well as attend the Freshman Welcome Day. Nothing was particularly exciting, other than the fact that I'm presented with chances to meet up with my old friends. Freshman Welcome Day was quite deceitful. I came with the idea that there was an important speech about how my course will run, seeing that the faculties were divided into two timing slots. Not worth mentioning.

5th August, Sunday:
Finally moved in to my little hall room. I'm in Hall 8. I quite love this place because of the hilly feeling it gives. A little hot, but bearable. Floor was really dirty to the point of colouring my entire soles black. Did cleaning and put my stuff into place. Like the first night when I went to BMT, had a hard time sleeping.

6th August, Monday:
Met up with Aloycious. Known each other since our Amoy Quee days. Funny and intellectual guy, and glad to know he's in the same course as me. Headed off to my school, Wee Kim Wee School Of Communication And Information (WKWSCI). Attended lectures, got lost a few times, perspired like hell. NTU does not let off on heat at all during the afternoons. Lectures were mostly introductions to the course. Very interesting lecturers for both COM203 (Dr Cherian George) and COM205 (Mr Paul Frenzo).

7th August, Tuesday:
Had only one lecture, and was introduced to another lecturer, COM201's Professor Hao Xiaoming. Very interesting lecturer, with a nice sense of humour. Natural affinity to make me laugh, among other people. Went home after that, as there were no more lessons for the week, presumably. (Not until I realised that there were the electives to follow. Sigh. Trips from home to NTU were long.)

9th August, Thursday:
Was at Wally's house since 7pm on Wednesday. Had our Movie Monster's Club movie marathon yet again, with Cori and Val being present. Finally got to watch Shawshank Redemption. Due to a series of unfortunate events, I've not been able to watch it 5 times previously. Unlucky streak broken at last. Spent all night there talking with the gang, and departed for home at 630am. Tired. Rested the whole day.

[First week was gone in a jiffy. Strange feeling.]

13th-17th August, Week 2:
Wave after wave of course readings, tutorials and subject registrations. Finally got a good timetable, and my confirmed electives are HE191 (Principles Of Economics), HH101 (What Is History: Concepts, Practices and Critiques) and LC80 (Elementary Chinese I). Timetable looks good. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays packed, Wednesdays and Fridays free for studying and other stuff.

17th August, Friday:
Went for the Singapore Fireworks Festival. ECP bridge was blocked off by the police. Heard it was because the past spectators were very rude. Singaporeans. Sigh. Found a pretty good spot to take pictures. First experience, so pictures were not as spectacular. Will learn from this. There was another ugly side to the whole experience. Shall elaborate on that in another post when I have the time. Basically, some Singaporeans are so kiasu and impatient, their stupidity leads them by the nose. Terrible.

18th August, Saturday:
Went to Lynette's birthday party. (Thank you for inviting me! Really enjoyed your party. Thanks for allowing me to experience one of the best sceneries around.) Had one of the most arguably excellent mushroom soups around. Fish & Chips were pretty high standard as well. Will definitely head back there again, camera in hand, stomach empty.

Haha. That was just a brief summary of the highlights these two weeks. It's hard to keep up with time sometimes, but I will try my best to keep this blog updated about the life I'm leading now. This may be my last schooling life, and I hope to make the best out of it.

I'm missing my best bud, daena, who's left for the US to pursue her studies. All the best there buddy. I know you'll do well, and I'll wait patiently yet again until you return. I kept my promise about keeping you updated okay! Take care of yourself, and as always, I'm just a call away. Sorry I couldn't be there when you flew off. =]

That's it for now.

Welcome To My World

2007-06-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

Just a small experiment with the wondrous Photoshop. I'm beginning to get a better grasp of this. My first work. Kudos to wally for his inspirational John Mayer poster. It fueled me to do this. This is still in its early stages though. I might just add more things inside.

Horns

2007-06-02T19:41:00.000+08:00

I've never hated car horns as much as I do right now. The amount of anger residing within me has escalated beyond healthy limits. Not that I have anything against its invention. I recognise horns as a much needed device to warn people of danger and of the likes. Without it, more people might be hit by trucks, vans, cars, motorcycles, or even bicycles. (Yes, there are horns on bicycles, although it's pretty rare now.) If you look at it this way, there should be no reason to hate it, despite the loud noises it creates.

But today, at the wee hours of the morning (7am to be precise), some very, very inconsiderate people went to do the most irritating thing I've ever heard of, literally. Having had a late night the day before, I was expectant of having a good sleep, since it is the weekend, days people have come to acknowledge as being more of rest and relaxation days. But no, I was abruptly awoken by the noise of car horns. SEVEN BLOODY CARS HORNING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM! Now, I am a man who likes his sleep, especially more so when I'm fatigued by activities of yesterdays. Understand that I am not a weakling as to despise work or school for depriving my sleeping hours, as it is my responsibility to report punctually and responsibly. But these (words that I can't express due to its vulgarity) people had to horn for no good reasons. As I woke up with an intent of a murderous rampage, I looked down from my window, wondering if there might have been a jam happening at the small roads near the multi-storey carpark. But no, it was just a group of young men in their cars making lots of noise for a wedding! From what I can infer, it was some sort of greeting to indicate that the bridegroom has arrived, coming to claim his wonderful wife. I don't know whether you would think this is romantic, but I would like to say that I'm least impressed and most annoyed.

I have no idea as to whether this is a traditional act or custom, so forgive me if that is the case, but just think about it for a second. People are enjoying their slumber, and this being a HDB area, I can bet that at least 80% of the people here have had a busy night with work, outings and/or functions, all tired, in need of physical and mental rest. Imagine how they'd feel to have their rest disturbed in that manner. Don't pretend to tell me you're alright with it. Would you truly be okay with this if you were in our shoes? I don't think so. Friends who know me, please enlighten me. Is this really a tradition? Is this really something the chinese people in Singapore do? I don't know. I'm trying not to let the anger take over me, but I am seriously pissed. Please e-mail me about this. I need to know.

So I went down, and took their plate numbers. If I feel the need to complain, at least I've got the relevant information. Please, I only ask of humanity for logical courtesy. There was another Malay wedding happening near my block. At least their noise rituals were in the afternoon, when most people are already up. (Note: MOST people.) And it wasn't nearly as loud and irritating as that of the seven car horns. If this was the USA, I'd bet a massacre would have started shortly. Sigh. Another rant in such a short time. Is the world really such a hateful place now?

[In light of this, I have refrained from actually writing a 100000 word essay as to the inconsiderate acts of people here. I don't hate this place. I dislike the small handful of people that spoil it all.]

Homework #1: Jazz Figures

2007-05-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

Note to self: Learn more about these people.

Pat Martino.

John Scofield.

Joey Defrancesco.

Byron Landham.

Kiasu

2007-04-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

There's a limit as to how ugly human nature can get. Especially, when it gets ugly for the most shallow of reasons. This reasoning that some people abide to, can never be appreciated or understood by me. I am a patient man, but I cannot, for one second, stand people of the likes of irresponsibility, ignorance and impatience, and commit actions that are totally senseless, rude and illogical. Who am I referring to actually? Read on and find out.

First off, let's start with the ignorant kiasu kings and queens. I've been reading the newspapers on how some retailers are actually charging plastic bags at a mere five or ten cents each. All they ever asked was that you bring your own bag, or even a small trolley even if you find it more convenient, to offset the fact that we, Singapore, are one of the largest consumers of plastic bags, and by doing this, we are actually helping out in preventing more environmental strain than we have already done. It's scary to think that this small dot of a country in the world today, can outmatch or stand on even grounds with the United States of America in terms of plastic bag usage. So imagine my irritation to find Singaporeans being all kiasu about buying their own plastic bags to evade this idea of paying these extra charges for the plastic bags. Oh, bravo, you ingenious people. You have properly saved money by doing so. Touche. But have you ever thought of what all this movement is all about. Complaining about the price here and there, when it's just a measly amount to pay for the good of the world. If you don't want to pay, be just a little bit responsible and bring your own baggage to go shopping with. Hell, bring a baggage of your own reusable bags if that's not enough. I don't see how such a little inconvenience can cause such a furore among the community here. I understand that the cost of living here is definitely getting a little higher, but to hold on to the small five or ten cents, is just a little bit out of my league in things to die fighting for. Is it too much to ask? It's not like we were asked to drive our own garbage to the disposal plant. It's not like we were forbidden to stop using air-conditioners. It's just a bloody, re-usable, bag! Get over it. People say being kiasu is just part of a Singaporean culture. I say, it's the one of the most ugliest attribute in any kind of human, Singaporean or not.

The next group features the bus and train commuters and their rushing in habit. Racing to be in front of the doors as if it was a race for survival, they cause much inconvenience to others, as well as causing a very ugly moment to observe. Let's talk about boarding the bus. These very enthusiastic people will shove and fight their way through the crowd to get to the front doors before it opens, with the mindset that by doing so, they will highly likely get a seat, or at least, be able to board the bus. Nothing else matters as long as one of these selfish objectives are achieved. It's very rare to actually see anyone give way to the elderly or those in need to board first and have priority over the seats. Even when they can obviously see that there is definitely enough space in the bus, they still do it. It's really inconsiderate. Are our lives really that low on time that we need to rush through the most trivial of things? And in trains, it's even worse. People will rush madly for the trains like how the millions of warriors from the Persian empire wanted to invade Sparta through that small valley. There will be impatient people blocking commuters who want to get out, even when there are yellow lines to define a suitable position to let them exit first. I know that trains are pretty packed at times, but please, things do not have to turn that ugly to just board it. If everyone does their part in producing a good exit and entrance flow, in addition to trying to squeeze yourself into space, it will definitely turn out pretty easy. Problem is, it's the small group of these inconsiderate commuters that will spread the bad seeds into many other people in causing bad habits. Don't be tempted and act responsibly.

The third group of people I'd like to lash out on are drivers and pedestrians. There are many rude drivers here, even though they do have good driving skills. Trying to cut the queue at an intersection at a filter lane, irresponsibly changing lanes with terrible judgement, using high beam and modified bright head lights during night time that will inconvenience drivers ahead and in opposite lanes, stubbornly and selfishly not giving way to vehicles trying to filter into the main road, driving on the shoulder road to beat the jam, all these are just a few of the annoying things Singaporean drivers do. It is so irresponsible that I can't believe that I don't see them being brought to justice yet. The police are kind enough to not always position patrol officers every single morning to control such irresponsible acts. They are not like our school disciplinary headmasters. We are all grown adults. Act like one, before you really cause some furore or accidents among each other. All we need is just a little more patience. More accidents happen because these people do not possess such quality. And to fellow pedestrians, please do not think that you own the road. You don't know how stressful it is for drivers to actually try and avoid you. I know, because I am a licensed driver. And if you are indeed someone who owns a license, all the more you should be considerate. Do not cuss or swear when you know that it's your own fault for causing it!

I shall stop here, but know that I've only touched the shallow surface of the ugly things that happen here. While this might appear to be a rant, think about what's been mentioned. While I'm talking about the minority of groups who commit these acts, don't you think that it has more or less affected the whole community here?

All these things are very trivial things that just needs small actions to make it right. Patience, logic, understanding and selflessness are my underlying points I'm trying to make. Do we need large scale disasters to occur here before we even learn our lesson? The current generation here hasn't had a taste of mass starvation, disease and mass corruption to even fathom the worst case scenarios happening in the world. Don't complain! You have no right to even mention of it when so many countries in the world are suffering from so much natural and man-made chaos and terrible living standards. Live to make a better tomorrow for yourself, the people around you, and, most importantly, the future.

Big Mac

2007-03-06T17:15:00.000+08:00

Damn. I'd like to order that way too.

Here's the lyrics, some sort of.

I need a double cheese burger and hold the lettuce
Don't be frontin son, no seeds on the bun
We be up in this drive-thru, order for two
I gots a cravin' fo' a numba nine like my shoe
We need some chicken up in here, in this skizzle
For rizzle my mizzle, extra salt on da frizzle
Doctor pepper my brothah, another for ya motha
Double-double supah size and don't forget the fries

The Mama Shop

2007-03-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

I had promised my dad that I'd help him out with my cousin's wedding preparations on the previous Saturday, and I'm always true to my promises. Despite the late nights of defending Aiur and having irregular sleeping habits, I made it a point to go all out with helping my dad. (He's a great dad and person, always thinking of others before self, braving many tiring days doing everything her can to help his family. I admire this quality of his.)

I was delighted to have found out that I'd be doing the preparations near my primary school, Punggol Primary School (PPS). A place that holds many sweet memories, I was more excited about being near it once more, taking the nostalgic bus route back there again from my humble home. It feels incredible to walk in the footsteps of your younger self. You take the same route, but you take things in differently. Every stop it makes, I managed to visualise the friends I knew walking on the pavements, heading back home after a day at school, in that weird combination of pale yellow shirt and sea blue shorts/skirt. I'd remember the friends who lived in the buildings I passed by. I'll remember the puppy love moments of me just looking out for the girl I like who lives nearby. I'll remember, that I had a friend who lives just beside me, and we frequently took the journey home together.

That friend is a guy called Zhi Qian. I still remember him as being the quiet guy, always calm in his actions. He's selfish with words, and I'm the exact opposite of him then. Always making the small talks, always trying to get him to smile and talk more. Alas, even with such close proximity, I've never seen him since my graduation from PPS. I've come to conclude that he has moved to someplace else. If ever he finds this post about him, I hope he makes contact with me somehow. Memories.

I realised that the 'mama' shop at the destination bus stop was still the same. It's a shop called Majfa. I love that shop to bits when I was schooling then.

I bought countless cards for my collection. Spiderman. X-Men. Fighter planes. Battleships. It was a classic hobby. And I still have those cards here with me, preserved in photo albums or a bundle, locked away for no other significant purpose now other than a smile for the stupid things I've done to collect them. Back then, it costs me about two bucks or so for one small pack. I bought it every week without fail.

Indian curry puffs there were quite a favourite of mine after school. Despite always causing a mess eating it, it tastes really good. A good snack before I reach home to eat my mum's ol' cooked food. (I kind of regret not buying it that day, but I'll definitely head back to get my taste buds renewed on it.) Even after eight long years, they're still selling it. Amazing. It comes with really nice chilli sauce. Mix the two, and you're headed for a sensuous, tasty feeling. Brings me close to tears.

Who could forget the simple toy that is the styrofoam model planes. It was really dirt cheap back then. About fifty cents or cheaper. I can't recall, but it's just a simple plane that you make out of joining the wing and body parts together, and clipping the propeller to the nose as the finishing touch. Simple, but addictive. I haven't seen or played it in years, but it was one of those things I really liked. (Note to self: Buy all the different models twice. One for keepsake, the other for obvious reasons. (Note to note to self: For playing it of course! (Note to note to note to self: Find out the inventor of the ingenious toy.))) I used to play it with my group of friends at the void decks and fields. We'd always try to get the most air time possible, throwing it in every possible fashion we could think of. Hope I can find it when I head back there again. I had once threw it from my my house window, and it flew really well. Damn. I should try that again.

There was another thing I liked as well. The bubble maker. I can't really recall the brand, but I remember the casing was either a pink or blue, with a ring stick inside to blow bubbles from. That was fun as well. I'm beginning to think that I might enjoy doing it at this moment as well.

Phew. Writing all that made me feel good. I'm proud that I was a student there. It was always lively then, with so many irreplaceable moments created. And to think that I've only written about the 'mama' shop thus far. Heh. I shall continue the other half of this story on another day, whenever that is.

Punggol Primary. Pride in Performance!

Go Anywhere

2007-03-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

'Go Anywhere' by John Mayer (As in Any Given Thursday DVD)

Fold me up
Take me out
I'm portable

Fold me up
Take me out
I'm portable

Well out here
We have anything we want
We have anything we want at all

Out here, we just bolt it to the floor
Tape it to the wall

Rolling with a satellite
Watching the Cosby Show on Nick at Nite
I'm weird but I feel alright
I am a soldier now

Fold me up, fold me up
Take me out, take me out
I’m portable

Fold me up, fold me up
Take me out, take me out
I'm portable

Out here, we're just singin', playin' whatever we feel
And the threat of falling out of bed at night is real
When you're traveling on a box with 18 wheels

If I can go anywhere at all, if I can go anywhere at all
If I can go anywhere at all
If I can go anywhere, anywhere

And if I can go anywhere at all
And if I could go anywhere at all
I mean if I really, really, really can go anywhere at all

Won’t you tell me why, why, why,
Why Georgia why

Just a small taste of the musical genius that is John Clayton Mayer. (Yes, that is his middle name.) I really like this small introduction he did for 'Why Georgia' from his Any Given Thursday DVD, something which I bought many years back, excited me then, and still excites every bit as much, or more, even at this point of time. Still, I can't forget how HMV cheated me of my money by making me pay near to fifty bucks, as after a month from the point of buying, it went to half the price I paid. That moment was greatly taken advantage of by Wally, my dearest companion in anything John Mayer. Up until now, if I ever mention it, he would say, "Hah!" proudly for having bought at half the price. Alas, as a dedicated fan, I shall let HMV live. (Yes, you are spared too, Wally.)

Fold me up. Take me out. I'm portable. I mean, really.

In any case, I would like to have to tip my hat off to the wonderful television series, Scrubs. I've been watching quite a bit of it recently, and I must say, it's the most excellent form of comedy I've seen. Or, I might be biased in that sentence. What I meant to say is that, it's the form of comedy that I really feel comfortable with. (It comes close to Friends, which I'm guilty of not being able to watch every single episode.)

The way John Dorian, or better known as J.D., converses with himself in the mind is something I can exactly relate to. I am not shy to say that I do that a lot, sometimes wondering if someone has made an initiative to make a living in there, and pays off his rent by being the inner voice. As much as this make me sound like a nutcase, it actually helps to do a little discussion mentally. As people would most likely tell you, do think before you speak. (Just don't take it too far and actually try to get the number of the person in your head by constantly sweet talking him/her for it.) Back to reality, here's what I'm trying to say.

Go watch it!

Oh, a small shoutout to dae. I miss that best friend of mine.

Good night everybody.

Between Paradox And Irony

2007-02-13T00:51:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt so sure about something, it makes you feel unsure in the end? Have you ever felt so strongly over someone that it makes you weak? Have you ever been so annoyed by a song that you like to hum it out lovingly and frequently?

All these paradoxical situations full of irony really know how to pummel a human, hard. It's what leads to us being indecisive, nervous and low on will. There can be countless of situations like these. And I'm quite an experienced person on that. My biggest weakness is the fact that I think too much. Even if I know I'm right, I'll contemplate, think about it again, and will eventually confuse myself in the end. Even if I know I should do it, I'll think twice, running through all the situations that may come out of my actions, and end up with too many thoughts to convert it to any action. It's like trying to squeeze all your food down a funnel forcefully. You know you'll never get most, if not any, to go through. I've always been indecisive, and it bugs me to know that I'm that way. Which leads to situations of 'What could have been' and 'What should have been'. I find my path of life to be pretty full of regrets and doubts.

But I do get that this is how life works its wonders. Still, I hate the fact that I can remember embarrassing moments of paradox and irony with equal intensity of emotions even after long periods of time. So if you see me with a weird face one day (looking like this ==> =S ), it's probably because I'm reliving the moments in my mind. (No pictures, please. It'll be hilarious.)

So what is my problem then?

If there's one thing I've ever wanted, it'll be to be sure of something completely. To be sure that I've made the right choice. To do things the way I wanted it to with clarity and without regrets. I want to be on the path of life with no directional signs or signboards. I want to live life as a whole. I want to be whole.

I will not regret. I will not think twice. I am sure this time. Questions will cease to exist any longer. The time has come.

Between Questions And Answers

2007-01-22T18:49:00.000+08:00

It's not unusual to be asked questions. There's all sorts of them, most of which requires an answer in return. As kids, we are guilty of being the gattling guns of questions. I wonder how it never seem to obliterate the parents and teachers who endure every single one of them or evade them, Matrix style. Sometimes, taking advantage of our innocence, they feign answers so unbelievable that we believe them as well. Can you imagine having a kid firing at least 20 'Why this?' or 'Why that?' questions? (Damn, there I go again, with the question marks? Hmmm?)

I'd like to think of questions as the beginning of a journey. And as for every journey, there's always a distance to cover. Whether you reach the ending point of such a journey, it depends on the complexity of the question. Like, let's say, someone asks you, "Who created life?". Depending on your religion or beliefs or sanity, the distance covered can be both long and short. It's just a matter of what tickets you chose to board your train of thought.

Now, if you are a faithful Christian, that would awfully seem like a short journey. God, they shall say.

If you were a Muslim, then it'd be similarly close too. Allah, they'll say.

Now if you were an apathetic person, that distance can be even shorter. Dunno, they'll say.

If you were a scientist, you can expect a long journey of explanation regarding the Big Bang Theory, together with supernovas and the birth and death of stars that seems to provide a chain reaction of creating worlds and what not, and to make it even more detailed, it might go down to the finest details of atoms and their atomic structure, and to go further into the fine print, for the sake of boasting of high intellect, they can further to the packets of photons that determines the energy level of an atom, then return to the theory of evolution, starting from small organic lifeforms which evolved to become even more complex creatures in a process that took years in the millions or billions, leading to lifeforms we see today. Inconclusive, they'll say, in the end.

If you are a hardcore player of Katamari Damashi (or Katamari Damacy in the USA), you'll come to explain the totally out-of-the-question answer that the King Of The Cosmos once destroyed the entire planetary and solar system by accident, so he sent his son, the Prince, to roll his Katamari (magical ball) to roll things up to restore them, and life itself. Katamari, they'll say.

Now, I don't know which train you'll board, but take this chance to choose your train of thought wisely to any question. As you can see, there are limitless destinations to choose, so the only thing to really consider properly is being true to yourself and the person in question when answering. Always recognise the importance of good answers to anything.

Time Travel

2007-01-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

Recently, I had a dream of myself being a time traveller, exactly like the way it goes in the book 'The Time Traveller's Wife' by Audrey Niffenegger. I think it may somehow be influenced by it, seeing as to how I am reading it now, with full immersion everytime.

Like the book, I had a wife, who showed a sense of worry and and concern everytime I disappear to another time, wondering if I ever will come back to her in one piece. I couldn't remember who my wife was, and I regret not knowing it. In any case, during those time travelling experiences, seems like I visited a lot about my past. I vaguely remember being in primary school, revisiting the school and teachers, and watching whatever experiences I went through as an outsider. It wasn't much, but it felt pretty weird, seeing another you out there. It wasn't all rosy and peaceful. For some reason, I was sucked into a terrible or embarrassing experience everytime. When it happens, I get transported to another time. So it went on to secondary school, and I think it had to be around 3E1 time, then in JC2, then finally back to reality. I think I might have missed out quite a lot of things, but it was kind of weird and fun at the same time. This happened quite a while back, so writing about it now is kind of hard.

Still, I felt some sort of significance from the dream. I think I've now explored to another part of my mind. I feel so because I rarely have dreams, and when I do, they are always places that I recognise, with characters that recognise me and pick up from where we last left it. This time, it was different. Somehow, with each dream, I get transported to a certain area of my mind. Whether they are fragments of my memories or just areas of my mind, I know not. But having to remember all these places sometimes make me wonder about the reality of it all. I'd like to think that dreams are signs to something, either about yourself or the future. While the message can never be clear at times, try to give it some thought. I've watched a Discovery Channel documentary about dreams before, and they did mention something about dreams being something about memories or signals of some kind. That was so long ago, when you have ample time after school to watch lots and lots of TV. Yeah, of all channels, I liked Discovery Channel the best when I was that age. Science is just my interest.

That aside, I do think I should go get some early rest now. It's about time I shape up. Good night.

Man In The Mirror

2006-12-24T09:41:00.000+08:00

Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

I'm gonna make a change,
For once in my life
Its gonna feel real good,
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

As I, turn up the collar on
My favourite winter coat
This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the street,
With not enough to eat
Who am i, to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs

A summers disregard,
A broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
Thats why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
Its time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that theyre not alone?

A willow deeply scarred,
Somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
They follow the pattern of the wind, ya see
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could've been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and
Then make that . . .
Change!

(Shortened version of lyrics.)

I just went to send my dad off to work, and as usual, Class 95.0 FM always gives me good company while on the road. There's nothing better than good music to start the day with. It feels really good to hear all your favourite songs ninety percent of your time. And then, Michael Jackson's 'Man In The Mirror' just came on the radio, and that was it. I just remembered how I had aspirations to bring a smile to everyone's face. In good times, bad times, it was my lifelong dream. And this song really fueled me for a very long time. Just read the lyrics, and you'll probably agree with me that, yeah, he's right. Before you can even make something good out of the world, you have to make something good out of yourself first. People who understand this are contributors with a true heart and intent. Walking around in orchard with a tin can (or in recent cases, a long plastic tube) to collect money for charity doesn't make you any better. If you think that you're just doing it for charity, then you're not grasping the meaning of it.

Here's my take on doing charity. In your mind, you should be thinking of the needy and sickly old people who were abandoned or thrown aside by their children. You should be thinking of the kids elsewhere in the world who are cut off from proper education and the wonders that it offers, something you already have, fortunately. You should be thinking of nations that have poor sanitation and shortage of food, a basic necessity that you bask in everyday, in the clear, clean waters filtered by technology and warm, scrumptious food that is laid on your table everyday. You should be thinking of the kids, who suffer at early stages in their lives, because they do not have the comfort of living like you. Envision skinny little kids from Africa. That always makes me realise that we live in a not-so-equal world. Just thinking of charity organisations clouds the reality.

I'm always reminded of these when I do the simplest of things. Like how my favourite Hotcakes Value Meal can actually feed three kids, and make them extremely happy. How my small collection of Roald Dahl books can make literacy a progress if I were to share and read with the children of the world. All these simple things. I dream of making it big in the future, and, with the large amount of money I earn, contribute to the needy, not through charity organisations, but through self-initiated acts, objectively to make people's lives better. A dream is still a dream, so I hope, with enough power, I can do that someday. For now, I have to settle with that man in the mirror first.

Experience

2006-12-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

In every individual, there will always lie something that will irk a sense of depression and helplessness. It can be a recurring memory, triggered by the observation of certain events or objects. It can be a certain ideal the person upholds, no matter how illogical it may seem to others. It can be a person, who indirectly imposes a sense of superiority above you. It can be you, and it can be me.

I can't help but say that I've been feeling utterly defeated these days. In my quest to search for a job, I feel like I keep slamming into the wall, while the lights are still on, and the sun still generous with her share of light for illumination. And no, I'm not wearing black eye patches over both my eyes. Sure, I'm not exactly a fresh graduate from polytechnic or university, whereby they will have the justified hunger in searching for a job, but still, I want in. It's hard when all you've got are your 'A' Level certificate, junior college testimonial and your NAPFA result slip. Even a resume doesn't seem impressive with that kind of line-up. It does not help that there are quite a substantial jobs that specifically requires, or subtly suggests, the need to know or speak another language here, which in this case, refers to the chinese language. I'm not complaining. It's just, hard for me to meet that requirement, even though I hold a blood relation to that. I feel like jumping out my window now, fall straight to hell, ask the devil for a second chance to do that again, return to my room, take my guitar, rent a private jet, a finally jump off it with only my guitar and pick, and play john mayer songs until I reach my doom. (Note to self: Possible suicide scenario. Sounds cool.)

Anyway, let's get back on track. The reason why I'm writing this is because I got to see a real resume. A top grade one, mind you, with professionalism written on every square inch of it. (Note to self: That might be quite a nice background for a resume. Hmmm) I was in awe the moment I read it. And I must applaud that person, for opening my eyes. For showing that I still have a long road to go in terms of excelling in the working world. Truly, I am thanking you from the bottom of my heart. Although it threw me back down to Earth (okay, maybe a little deeper), I am filled with content to know that you will excel. I'm sure of it. And I know you've worked exceptionally hard for it, and I'm proud of you. This reality check was what I needed to burn that fire in me again. The one I've always had. Competitiveness. I admit, I am that sort of person. Again, I thank you, so please, accept this gratitude from me without a tinge of humility. You truly deserve it.

I shall proclaim this day Resume day. It shall be a public holiday once I become the nation's president. In view of such a joyous occasion, the best resume of the year shall be picked and written in gold paper, with a circular stamp of 'Excellent' with five stars by me (yes, the primary school edition), and shall be preserved in the National Museum. The person will receive the medal of honour for his/her bravery in writing such a daring resume, and shall be rewarded with a 10D/10N stay in Europe, in any country he chooses, accompanied by a butler for personal needs, a banker for financial needs and a lawyer, just in case he/she gets into trouble.

If you've read this far, you should know, I'm talking gibberish on that last part. Or am I? (Start voting for my presidency now?)

I Need Some Sleep

2006-12-11T21:35:00.000+08:00

I Need Some Sleep by Eels

I need some sleep
It can't go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I'm in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning 'round
Everyone says I'm getting' down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

Just like it says, I need some sleep. It's been quite an adventure for me, or more of a struggle, as I lived my days in nights. I've broken my records quite superbly, sleeping past three in the morning at first, then four, five, six and sometimes, it stretches to eight in the morning. There was one day I never slept until the day after. This lifestyle is consuming me quite badly. I'm dazed and weak in the day, and disgustingly alert at night. I guess I'm in a loss of control for myself, ever since the bars of freedom have been knocked down, giving me the free will to do just about anything I want, whenever I want. I'm not in resentment of it, strangely. It feels good to live through the nights of peace and solace. Where there's hardly a sound, and you're left in your own little world of thoughts. It feels as if you're the last person alive.

Loneliness does not bother me much. Do not mistake me for being unsociable. I enjoy the company of friends, as much as the small and big activities that follow. But I've been so used to it that it seems like a normal everyday life by now. It's been quite like that since I was young.

During the primary school days, after school, I always come straight home, greeted by the empty room and spaces. There was always no one in the day, as my parents go off to work, for money to support the family, and my sister, at her secondary school. I'd either occupy the day doing my homework, daydreaming or with the toys, plotting fights between heroes such as Captain Planet and the Mighty Morphing Power Ranger's Megazord. There was only a short time when there was actually someone there. We had a maid for a short time, but she went crazy soon after. And no, I'm not the cause of it.

Secondary school saw me move to my current house. Again, I spent much of my early years alone at home, occupying myself with homework, or other forms of entertainment. I guess those many years really made me who I am today. I actually spend more time with myself or friends than with my family. I still love my mum and dad, but there is only so much I can relate to with them. The ones who saw me grow were my friends, and I would like to thank them ever so much for being there.

Still, I'd like to dedicate this blog to my mum and dad, for always working so hard to support me, even if they were never really there most of the time. Through their absence, it allowed me to mature.

I understood, that money was never an easy thing to come by. I stopped asking them to buy anything for me, even through the countless times they asked and insisted.

I understood, that work is one tiring curriculum. I never imposed myself on them whenever they came home, putting up a smile to shield their fatigue.

I understood, that they only want what is best for their child. I worked hard on my studies, to give them grades to prove to them that it was worth it all the while.

I understood.

I keep my words of gratitude sealed within me. But I hope, it reaches you somehow. Thank you. I was never lonely after all.

The Pick Of Destiny

2006-12-04T19:31:00.000+08:00

I just went to watch Tenacious D's 'The Pick Of Destiny' the other day. Maybe it's because I'm a fellow guitarist who knows of Jack Black's and Karl Gass' insanely humorous style of guitar playing and singing that compels me to watch. It was not bad. You'll like all the weird guest appearances and songs.

I don't know. When it comes to music, and it involves a guitar, I become highly interested to find out more about it: I strain my ear to hear even the lightest sounds of the guitar in the background in any song; I observe any other guitarists intensively to study their level of skill and accuracy; I get mildly irritated when I see someone playing the chords wrongly for songs I know of; I get very annoyed by people who try to play John Mayer songs, and any other artistes I know of, but end up making it sound like thrash. (Wally, you know who I'm talking about. The Heeren's, remember?) I'm not an expert, but I respect songs enough to play as true to it as possible, with a little improvisation here and there. I guess there's freedom in music, as long as it sounds like music right?

In any case, have a look at this. It's something I did while I was at wally's house. I was kind of motivated by the videos of people playing covers in youtube, using their small camcorders or camera phones to record while they're playing, and then posting it online, vulnerable to any form of comments from just about anyone. It's not something I'd like to flaunt about, but yeah, have a look and comment if you want. I tried to play as close to the original as I could. Wally did the singing.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=twPcbodAj9A

Well, not much to talk about these days. Call it a mental block. I've been playing Final Fantasy XII continuously for close to a week now. Playing hard into the night until I see the light of day. I was a hardcore gamer then, and seems like I haven't lost the touch. Heh. Well, look at is this way. The faster I finish it, the faster I can get to doing other stuff in waiting. That's it for now.

Shattered Dreams

2006-11-25T03:02:00.000+08:00

Ok guys, this is definitely worthy of being looked at. I mean, come on, you just have got to watch this ok!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g08d_WzinTA&eurl=

It made me delirious!

Needs

2006-11-24T18:39:00.000+08:00

A long time ago, when I was still enjoying my life as a secondary school kid, there came a point I was asked to explain something to a teacher in class. I don't remember what it was about, but in the end, we I had an enlightenment on two very simple words. Those of 'Want' and 'Need'. She explained to me that there's a big diferrence in wanting and needing something. It could be anything. A desired object of affection, a human source of affection, a scheduled favourite television programme, or even the action of going to release yourself in the loo. A sentence is made less or more meaningful when either words are substituted in.

I remembered I wanted a lot of things when I was younger. Those cool, remote-controlled mini helicopters, the Nikkon remoter-controlled cars, the Power Rangers Megazord and Dragonzord, the cool Hot Wheels set and much more. As a kid, you'd want anything that entertains you. I didn't even give a thought as to how much money goes into it. All that mattered was me getting things. I didn't really get all that, save for the Megazord and Dragonzord. Maybe it was because I was shy, an introvert who wasn't willing to show any hint of desire for anything. I couldn't understand it back then, as to why I never said I wanted all those things. But the moment my teacher talked about the important difference between 'Wants' and 'Needs', it struck me right then. A sense of renewal as I understood myself. Why I never wanted it was because I never needed it. I fought the urge of showering myself with gifts as I kept on thinking about how my mum and dad worked so hard just to afford me education. That's why, everytime I gaze into my parents, I just couldn't bear to say it out. Simple words with heavy burdens. Money does not come easy, and neither do good parents. I'm proud to say I have the best parents around, and it pains me sometimes, to think I may not be able to achieve the one thing they want from me. Still, I love them. I need them in my life.

Even now, those words still linger in my head. I have a lot of things I want to get: American Fender Stratocaster Standard; Nikon D40; Nikon L5; Alienware computer; Playstation 3; Nokia N80; Gundam Wing model collections; Martin acoustic guitar. The list can go on, but I just think to myself, it's just things I want, not those I really need. I'm fortunate to be where I am now, to be who I am, and life goes on for me, with or without things I want. I never want to be the burden on anybody. It's just a bonus if I can get any of those.

I wish people knew how to distinguish what they want and need, because we live in a world oblivious to people's needs, needy people, historical artifacts and sites in need of repair, forests in need of protection, animals in need of preservation, and a global population in need of the truth from corrupted organisations. Are we that blind to the truth that we forget that we were given eyes? Are we so deaf to the cries of millions in pain? Are we that dumb to believe lies to be called the most intelligent being on the planet? It's time we started being aware of the things around us by finding it out ourselves. Free your mind from the bars of conformity, and seek the ugly truth you never knew. Do you want this knowledge? Do you need to know? The decision is solely up to you.

Kiwi

2006-11-21T02:45:00.000+08:00

Worthy of mention.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/66534/Kiwi.html

Enjoy.

Rainy Pleasures

2006-11-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

There's always been a certain type of relationship between me and the rain. I've always admired it. Somehow, I feel it makes the world a more beautiful place with every downpour it endows us. I realised this while walking the normal route to the old 147 bus stop, a place with fond memories of my first crush, insane early rides to zhonghua (a habit in the early years because I wanted to be in school first), having my butt molested by a short, old woman (it's sadly true) and of the longest 'open fly' record ever made by me (a woman got a first class view just 10 centimeters away while I was standing in the crowded bus; silent apologies to her). Well, let's not elaborate further on that. Heh.

In any case, it felt good to be outside once again, after days of wasting myself at home, punishing my biological clock by sleeping close to five in the morning, and waking up in the late afternoon. I can't seem to sleep early nowadays. (My mind tends to get active in the silent hours of morning, so it drags me along with it.) While I walk in the rain, shielded by my umbrella, I took a careful look at my surroundings. Sure, it's the same old path I used to take, but everything looks so pristine when it rains. You see all forms of objects glimmering to life, radiating some sort of beauty. The tree leaves were brightly green, as if it didn't need the sunlight anymore. The buildings displayed its colours proudly, after a cool, clean bath in nature's shower. People change with the rain too. I saw old folks relaxing under a hut-like structure, sitting down while enjoying the cool winds the rain offered, sometimes trickled by the tiniest drops of rain. Everything around me just feels so peaceful. I love the rain.

When I was in secondary school, whenever there was rain, I would leisurely walk in it, be it a light drizzle or a heavy downpour. Of course, this usually happens when I'm on the way home, and alone. I enjoyed the sounds of the raindrops hitting me, especially of those hitting my skull. It was music in the making, and if only I knew Gene Kelly's 'Singing In The Rain' lyrics then, I would have gladly danced and sang to it. I probably didn't care if anyone thought I was crazy, but I was always enjoying it. I'd come home, all drenched and shivering, pruned, and having all my books partially wet, thanks to a little protection from my bag and plastic folders. It was never my intention to get sick from the rain, which rarely occurs, as I love going to school. Back then, there was always something to look forward to. No, it's not because of school activities, but the friends I've come to know and love. Nothing beats life when accompanied by great friends. Glad to say I've met many good ones there.

There was also a very weird relationship between the rain, me and a particular friend of mine. When we wanted to go out and meet, there were a lot of times when it rained just before or immediately after we met, and we'd always be amazed how it always happens to be that way. But I liked that. It made me think that there was really a connection between me and her. Normally, people will be thinking it should be regarded as an omen, but hey, I love the rain. To me, it was a blessing.

Rain, rain, go away
Come again some other day
We want to go outside and play
Come again some other day

Whoever thought of this song must have been a spoilt kid. Heh.

Can I Speak To You

2006-11-18T18:32:00.000+08:00

I found this audio clip that is really damn creative and hilarious. Now I know I'd never work as a telemarketer, well, at least not in the USA anyway. Strain your ears, cos there's quite a bit of laughter that blocks the conversation. Still, it's good.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/65836/How_to_Mess_With_Telemarketers.html

I'm currently using a Nokia 6610 right now, and somehow, it feels good to use old things. It's not old enough to be considered an antique or a thing of the middle ages, but old enough to be out of trend. It's my most reliable phone. It has never failed me, is user-friendly and is filled with sentimental value. I've had this phone since 2003, on my birthday. I bought this phone because of my ex the last time. We made a promise to buy the same phone. (It was one of the famous colour handphones at that time. She never bought it in the end.) Since then, I've been saving messages of importance to me. Some people can never see why I should be even saving a message that only says 'Yes'. But you know, by looking at the date and such details, I can remember conversations that really meant something. Things and subjects that gives those little tugs in your heart, like how an angler feels when he he hooks something heavy in the Pacific Ocean, unexpectant of what kind of big catch he is getting. On a side note, it seems my Inbox is a source of entertainment, seeing as to how I keep some ridiculously useless messages. One man's garbage is another man's treasure.

Anyway, I'm kind of enamoured by the Nokia N80. Haha. I will try and get it during the Christmas promotions, when my Starhub line expires. Whether I keep the old number or not, I'm still unsure as to that for the moment. I want to leave some of the memories behind this number. But N80 is definitely on my list of things to get. I need to get a job.

Colours

2006-11-07T11:09:00.000+08:00

Red. My favourite colour, probably the first one I got such feelings for. People who know me have seen me wear red a lot of times. Clothes, accessories, bags, there's definitely some red you can find on me. My all time favourite character was the Red Ranger, Jason, from the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. I was so into the program that after saturday extra lessons at my primary school, I'd run home, even through the rain, just to catch it in the nick of time. (It was broadcasted weekly, on saturdays, at 10 am, if memory serves me right.) I was recently crushed when I was told he acted in a gay porn movie. *Goes into shock* Although I've not seen direct evidence to this, the image has been tarnished. Heh. I still support the Red Ranger though. Anyway, my take on red? Power and lust. It feels good, wearing red.

Green. Comes close to red. To me, it represents every environmental aspect of me. Green makes me calm, as it reminds me of the wonderful world of nature, with all its little insects to the giant beasts of the jungle. It's not exactly like a five-star resort to live in the wild, but you have to admire the beauty of nature, and the course it takes. Eat or be eaten, every organism has to live with the fear of losing their life everyday. It's not easy. And you'd wonder, what if we started living like the wild animals? Murder wouldn't sound very wrong if that happened. Aside from the reality of such a world, there's underlying beauty everytime. Just take a look at National Geographic Channel or Discovery Channel once in a while. It feels good, watching green.

Blue. An underdog of a colour. It's the one colour that I truly feel relaxed in. People say I resemble a blue guy, because of the calm person I am. Well, their opinion anyway. I'm unsure as to whether that is really true, but I do know I enjoy watching the blue sky and sea. Again, something to do with the world, but you've got to admit, we do live in a wonderful world. Whether it remains that way, I guess humans have to realise sooner or later that unless some conservative attitude is imbued into us, the world will continue to rot further, or, die off sooner. Does humanity truly knows no boundary, or is it ignorance in play? In any case, blue makes me feel small. Compared to the sky and sea, I'm nothing more than a tiny speck, ignored by the world. It feels good, to be warped in blue.

Pink. Not exactly a colour I would appreciate, but it has its admirable side. In all honesty, I am quite the kind to be biased against it, at first. Then someone made me wear a pink shirt once, and I thought to myself, it ain't all that bad. Heh. I guess I hated it because of Barbie and stuff like that. It made anyone who touched it look gay. Well, childish thoughts aside, it's just a colour, predominantly judged by society to be a girl thing. Mental barriers in place, it's not hard to see why I was kind of biased. Alas, I've grown, and I appreciate, the colour, especially when today, I've finally gotten back my pink Identification Card (IC). Haha. Pink. It's the new trend. It feels good, to feel pink.

Colour. It's good to see all of them.

Well, that sums it up. On a side note, I would like to say ORD LOH~!

I know it's cliche, but heck, it's finally over! The tradition of such exclamations lives on.

Viewing Pleasure

2006-11-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

From one end to the other, the view caught me by surprise, and I was left there speechless, awed by the serenity of such a sight. The air was still that night, but it was only a minor discomfort to endure in exchange for the joy I felt. Indeed, our pair of eyes are one of the greatest gifts given, unmatched by any forms of optical technology that claims to be the "world's best". Scanning the sky and the horizons, I was glad that hoon brought me to such a magical place. It was exactly the kind of scene that I had wanted to see. A mixture of Mother Nature's stunning beauty, with a slight pinch of civilisation basking in its technological achievements, under the permanently humble light from the moon and stars, to be doubly replicated in the reflection of the gentle waters, and left untouched by the corroding hands of humanity. Simply put, it was stunning. A sight I shall selfishly keep secret, to preserve its beauty for just a little longer.

From a request, I went on to search for a perfect place to view the sunrise here in Singapore. It is that never-ending quest to find that one spot that will make you feel lucky to be alive, just from the sight of it. What better person to ask for such help other than hoon. Through the many times we've gone out, I've always respected her for always being out of the ordinary, conversing and knowing many things and places we normally do not even notice. She is the ultimate outdoors buddy.

What was originally set out to be a quest for the perfect sunrise ended up being a journey of admiration, travelling to different corners of the land, enjoying the breeze and wavy waters. Sometimes, you just don't need a sunrise to make your day. All you need is the serenity of your surroundings, the cool breeze with no weird odours, a cooling spot to chill out, and great company. Of course, a starlit sky is a bonus if you're lucky. We stayed till very late, or rather, very early.

I also feasted on watching 'The Prestige' yesterday. Like any other person who has watched the movie, I would like to say it was downright awesome, and in the words of a friend, 'tricky'. I like movies that will keep you grounded, with no guesses, until the very end of the movie. May there be many more great movies to come. Anyway, no spoilers here, so I'd just like to say, please watch the movie. I highly recommend it.

Pardon my absence from the blogging world, but I've yet to find any form of inspiration to induce myself to a sense of endless writing. For the moment, I'd like to ensure that I've been busy immersing myself in the world of books, and not rotting myself away. A friend had been rather worried when she didn't see me online or blogging for a rather long time, and I am very touched by that. Haha. A toast to you for feeling that way. I'll keep in mind that I should at least drop you a short mail, or a sign, to show that I'm not dead or have been paralysed by a sting from a dangerous organism, or maybe tied up by secret operatives hired by people with too much money, or had my fingers, toes and nose chopped off by the mafia, or had my computer disabled because I was too poor to afford electricity or go to a cyber cafeteria. Thank you. I miss you.

Other than that, silently cheer for me to continue blogging with a higher frequency. (That goes for you too inner voice.)

Ring Tone

2006-10-29T09:34:00.000+08:00

Attention: Art Friend, Takashimaya

Good day to the staff of Art Friend. This is a friendly note from an appreciative customer of yours.

From one of my previous visits there, I came across a familiar sound, or, song actually. It was a Stevie Ray Vaughan ring tone from a customer. She was kind of tanned, had medium length hair, was roughly 1.64m tall, and definitely attaractive. She seems to be a student, at roughly 19 of age. The most noticeable thing is that, she has a SRV ring tone!

Being a fan of SRV, this elated me to Big Bang proportions, especially when it is used as a ring tone, and by a young girl at that. This moment of rarity has left me with the greatest regret of not getting to know her, or at least, her name.

If there, by any chance, happens to be such a girl that you know of, it'd be nice to know. Other than that, this is a letter of appreciation to you, for bringing in the most unique people to you. Thank you for the rare moment.

Yours truly
SRV fan

Innocent Poetry

2006-09-27T11:39:00.000+08:00

It's not everyday I get to have a packed day of anything but my army work, and yesterday was one such day. It was one of the most peaceful moments of my time at home and elsewhere. I'm not sure if it's a good thing, especially when there's a tendency of people to drop the bombshell on me at one go, but I guess there's no point in thinking too much into it. I'll just do whatever I can until I'm free from the shackles.

I started the day with the computer, surfing the blog of friends, as well as having conversations on MSN, which by the way, has very shaky connections for some reason. I can't seem to stay online for long. Anyway, with that done, and a small dosage of the latest episode 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien', I proceeded to my aim of the day. It was the time to pack up things in my room again, and it amazes me at how I find things that dates back to primary school still here.

I chanced upon my so-called autograph book. Back then, everyone was busy doing this early, while I was oblivious to such. It was rather last minute, but I tried anyway. I bought quite a cute, childish book called 'Miao Miao Club'. Haha. I didn't manage to get everyone's profile, but I did catch some important ones. Reading it all now, it seems really stupid how kids think, yet admirable. I remember back then, everyone made lame jokes and poetry, about girls, studies and friendship. I would say its pretty well done, considering we were kids after all. Here are some that will make you frown, but I still love them. (Hope you don't mind a little vulgarity in it.)

'April fool go to school
Tell your teacher she's a fool
If she scolds you, you don't cry
Pack your things and say chee-bye!'

'You in the taxi
Wearing a maxi
Drinking a pepsi
Looking so sexy
That lechers want to see
Remember to call me!'

Heh. That's by Poh Leong Ping, and he's a different kind of man now. I managed to chance upon him while learning driving at Singapore Safety Driving Centre (SSDC), and learned he has signed on with Army as a technician of Armour vehicles. Whoa. I'm quite embarassed to say he recognised me way faster than I did, but at least, I managed to say the correct name. Take care dude.

'I met you as a stranger
I leave you as a friend
I hope we met(meet) in heaven
Where friendship never end'

Short and sweet, and that's by Joanne Goh. I purposely didn't correct the grammar for the word 'met', as there's something special about mistakes. I kind of love this poem, as it reminds me of how friendship was a big deal for kids at that age. I wonder how they got the idea that friendship never ends in heaven? Haha. Seems very assumptious. Thank you!

'Birds fly high, hard to catch
Friend like you, hard to get!'

I'm not sure who this is by, because the person just signed off. I presumed its the girl who was best at 'English' in our class, Jamie Tan. She's grown into a fine, spunky, kinky woman. I know she was in Mass Communication in Ngee Ann Poly, and is now in NUS. We've met up as 19 year olds, and it was good to know she's doing all good. And her language is awesome now. Kudos to that. I've got quite a few links to her, as it turns out. What a small world eh. My respects to you!

'When you fall into the well, there's a rope
When you fall into the river, there's a boat
When you fall in love, there's no hope!'

'Before it's a city, Singapore is a town
Before you get into university, study hard now.'

Now these were written by Lok Miao Teng, one of the two "children" I had in primary school. She was so called my partner in class, together with another girl, Joyce Lin Huey Ling. I was in between them if memory serves me right. I really liked playing with them, and we would always remind each other to have good posture and not slouch by poking each other's ticklish spots, an action that brings about immediate good posture. I am a pretty sensitive person, so a slight tickle is really like major damage. Haha. They always called me 'daddy', and I had to settle down their fight for attention. It sure brings back memories. I've already met both of them again, in SRJC during the first 3 months. Miao Teng is still rather funny, and with a good heart at that. Joyce has grown to be quite the woman, and she looks really good now. I'm glad I raised both of them well. Hoh. I still care for you both!

'Ahmad Ahmad in the air
Ahmad lost his underwear
Ahmad says he don't care
Cassandra will buy him 2 hundred pairs.'

'Kick the table
Kick the chair
But....
Don't kick Cassandra down the stair.'

'See you in the ocean
See you in the sea
See you kissing Cassandra
Opps! Excuse me!'

Now these "masterpieces" were done by Sing Geok Shan! Haha. But I don't blame her. The reason she wrote this was because I used to tease her quite a lot. But we were still friends. Just kids having childish meaningless fun with each other. Hoh. Cassandra was a girl in my class who, I think, liked me. I was very shy about love then, and I was totally horrendous at handling such things. I used to recall always trying to avoid her, not because I don't like her, but I was just shy. Haha. I still managed to talk to her a little, but I wished I handled the situation a little better. I understand that a girl's emotions and feelings are nothing to play with. Alas, shyness was such a big obstacle back then. Cassandra, thank you for your feelings, and I appreciate them. I wish I could tell you that in person, but I have not been in contact with you for donkey years man. Thank you for the fun experience. And Geok Shan, your time will come! (>.<)

Well, that's all I'm going to share. I'm smiling as I'm writing this, because it's really quite funny, thinking through it after all these years. Have I really grown 20? Maybe not. I can still feel the kid in me, just waiting to burst out once more. Thank you, my wonderful rojak of friends. You've made me what I am today, and you all will still have a big place in my heart.

Belief

2006-09-22T16:14:00.000+08:00

Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing there mind from
The paint on a sign?
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they're not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside

Everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Everyone believes
And no ones going quietly

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand
Belief can
Belief can

(Taken from 'Belief' by John Mayer, from his new album Continuum.)

The more I listen to John Mayer's new album, Continuum, I find a certain maturity in his songs. He's reached a level to express words in beauteous wonder. I'm a fan of words, and although I'm still green in expressing them at a higher levels, I find motivation in his songs. It's not like heavy metal songs, which utter a few words in one line, constantly repeating to no end, just to make it sound nice with the banging of heavy guitars in the background. Every word is very well constructed, like the stacking of bricks to build a house, carefully positioned and cemented to make it strong and sturdy. I'm not an architect, but let me be one of words. I'm not trying to be biased here, being an avid John Mayer fan since his first appearance, but go give it a try. =)

Speaking of belief, the fasting month is coming up, starting this sunday. I know people know me as some sort of a weak believer, but I still respect religion and its teachings, hence I will fast as best I can. Like my father always says, "No matter which religion you're in, it's always good, because they teach you the good qualities in approaching life. It is man, the students of religion, who bends the teachings." I find that very true. Man is an uncontrallable creature, given with the power of choice. Where good can be a conceptual bad, and vice versa, every one of them thinks differently. There is no iron grip to bar them from anything they wish to do. As such, religion only shows the path. It is only a matter of following the path, like a sober man could. I emphasise the word could, as it is a matter of choice. Man, the creature of choice.

My train of thought goes in the direction of choices. At every intersection, there are signs of choices, and as the driver, I direct it in the path I wish to go. That's my simple outline of life. Life's all about making choices. Decide for yourself, and not let others make them for you.

I'm rather thrilled about the upcoming movie marathon. The last time, it was wally, val and me, over at the house of wally. We didn't watch an insane number of movies, but it was fun. And here we are again, about to organise another one next monday night. We will be going to sam's house this time, thus introducing our possible 4th member. Haha. Much appreciation goes to her for 'offering her house' for this occasion, in the words of wally. This is the plan so far, and it is still pending confirmation. Nonetheless, I await the good news.

'Mansy. Half-man, half-pansy.'

Damn you Conan O'Brien, for making the most ridiculous characters alive. Haha. Love his show. I am a regular viewer now. You should too.

That's it.

The Banquet

2006-09-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

I went to watch 'The Banquet' today, hearing that it's an adaptation of the masterpiece by William Shakespeare, Hamlet. I'm not exactly sure of the whole story, but went ahead with the idea of watching it with hoon today. I would say that the politics, scheming and fighting got me a little tense in my seat, as I sat there half-figuring what he hell is going on, and half-gazing at the wonderful visual display offered to me. The props were well made, and you can hardly compare it to the old chinese movies. Much has progressed in the world of chinese cinema.

To the people who have already watched the movie, WHO DID IT IN THE END MAN?!?! Yes, I'm sorry to those who have not watched, but this is killing me. I'm researching Hamlet right now, and I've even considered reading the whole book if I have to. (Well, it is interesting.) After the movie, me and hoon went on a rampage to uncover the secrets and such, but to no avail. Even here at home, I've still not found an answer. Damn damn damn. WHO?!

Well, I'll give it a rest for now. No use playing Sherlock Holmes all night.

I'm reading 'Life Of Pi' by Yann Martel right now, so pardon me from blogging for a moment. I've reached a point in life where I'm thinking to myself, is there life after computers? Haha. Seriously, the computer is a hazard to my lifestyle now. The old me would have only touched the computer on certain occasions, filling the rest of my time with other recreational activities and socialising. I need to get my life back! And that is definitely close at hand. With ORD around the corner, it's just a matter of time.

Anw, I'm off! It's about time I spent a little time for myself. I've been missing out on that.

Oh, to zubaidah, you look damn cool in that outfit. Haven't seen you in such a long time. I'll definitely catch up to you after I ORD. Take care.

Hellos To Goodbyes

2006-09-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Hello.

The thought that came to mind as it becomes aware of a certain day, a certain date, as to the arrival of a certain person who has been absent from the island for nearly a year. Busy in the passage of study, she's been gone too long in the western country, however, unfazed by their cultural attempts of linguistic lingo and intellectual behaviour. However, the day has come, through months of patience and, of course, waiting. It wasn't long until they made contact, catching up on the archives that is their memories, as well as sharing new ones to expand it.

It was just like old times, bringing back a sense of deja vu. Nostalgia filled the mind as time went past, slowly while they're apart, and unnoticably while they're together. No matter the distance there, it definitely brought a sense of happiness to know that such an important person is here, within his reach, and within a ten minute drive from home. He treasures the friendship that has evolved through a strange first meeting, which shall never be forgotten. How strange that fate has brought together a strange mixture of events to strengthen the bond between them, as if experimenting for newer solutions to offer. It's not always about fun, but about being there for each other, listening to one another whenever you need to be listened, with full intensity. He's not a worshipper, but a friend, and he's glad that they became one.

Time's running out. He knows it, but yet he can't accept it. His cries are ignored, as time does not understand language. It understands that things must move, and move on. He tries to stop it, but only the photographs he took could fulfill that wish. A picture in hand or in the mind, he takes as many as possible, to remember whatever that can be remembered. But still, time moves in an unrelenting manner.

Time's up, and he's lost the battle yet again. But he's prepared, resolved, that someday, he'll see her again. He never said goodbye, as it will never be for good. But in his mind, it was the goodbye for another small chapter in his life. He finds difficulty expressing his sad self, but holds steady to ensure her that he'll be okay, and that he has trust in her in doing the same. It was his first time seeing the waterfall that day, and how serene it was. With the same hug that meant hello, they hugged to bid their farewells. A flurry of emotions overcame him that dumbfounded, randomizing the words he meant to say. Too late for any repairs, but never too late to say a "Take care" and "See you soon". He meant it.

It was short, but a time well spent. She can always count on him to be there, at any time, any distance. He'll be waiting once more, on that small island, until the day he can grow wings to fly over the boundaries to see her. The wings are taking shape, and it will slowly take shape with time. Until that day, he waits. For now, he has to say his farewell and thank you.

Goodbye, for now.

Down The River

2006-09-07T21:05:00.000+08:00

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow

Further down the river

Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown

Further down the river

I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we'll meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view

Further down the river

(From Aqueous Transmission by Incubus)

I''ve finally reached the 2 month mark. It's exactly that much to my ORD date, and it feels quite good, amidst the heavy load of work I'm still doing in camp. It's nothing to complain about really. I'm more than content knowing I'm reaching the finishing line. It's the same feeling I get from my Army Half-Marathon (AHM) this year. A freakin' 21 km, and boy was that one wicked run. But despite the tired feeling I get from running, the knowledge that I completed my first half-marathon was rewarding indeed, and within the target timing as well. My timing was two hours thirty-six minutes. Sure, that may seem nothing to seasoned runners, but it means a whole lot to me as I've missed quite a lot of the training sessions, which is the only time I have for such things. I'm definitely up for running again next year, and when that time comes, I'll definitely make something better out of it.

Had a good small talk with Aloy today in camp. It's good to know that we'll both be in the same course next year in NTU. Imagine finding someone of the same faculty before you even started. Definitely cool. He's the only one I know of, who I don't really know of, who's in the same course. Looking forward to having partnerships with him.

It's been quite a long month, and you can tell by my absence from the blogging world. There's just been so many things going on simultaneously in my life now, especially at work. It's never been heavier, but somehow, I've made it through. I'm becoming more and more involved, and that's quite a bad sign really. Signs of a workaholic. It's about time I laid back and let my understudies settle future problems. I've delayed my leave plans a little, but nothing is going to change me from actually taking them. Hoh.

It is a moment of temporal silence between me and my friends. I've been keeping quite a low profile, messaging more to those I am closer to. My handphone has never been so inactive, as if it suddenly stopped taking Viagra pills. But it is only for these last two months, as I've been using my trusty, old Nokia 6610. I still love it. It holds quite a lot of fond memories of the past, with messages from people I care about, dating as far back as 2003. Alas, it has its limits, and I've deleted some of it. Nevertheless, memories never die. Back on track, I'd like to apologise in silence to my friends for my inactive status. I'll be sure to pop back right into your life in the next corner of life. I can alread see the turn coming. Just a little more.

There's been another question annoying me recently, and I wonder if anyone knows how to choose it. Let's see what you think about it.

'Would you rather love a girl who loves everything you love or hates everything you hate?'

Rather tricky. I came to the conclusion that I should choose the latter.It may be quite obvious to some, but have you thought of the consequences?

Let's say you chose the first option. Sure, she may like the same things such as PS2, rock-climbing and guitar, but what if she hates your idol and your favourite dish that always perks you up with a slight taste on your buds. Wouldn't that suck?

But let's say you chose the latter. You have already settled on the fact that you will definitely hate techno music, lady fingers, people who talk too much but show no balls and the show Singapore Idol with the bad music. Then you slowly spend time on finding out that you like John Mayer and she's ok with it, and she idolises Alanis Morisette, and you're ok with that too. Wouldn't that be a better option?

Well, this is just one of those pondering moments again. Well, time to dream and think again. Good night everyone, and I hope you've been well. Adios.

The Bungalow On The Mountain

2006-08-13T19:10:00.000+08:00

There is this bungalow I really like to go to, and it's situated atop this mountain. A very good friend of mine lives there, along with her wonderful family. Whenever there was nothing to do, or even when there was something else to do, we would decide to head there and take the arduous climb to the top, sweaty and breathless upon reaching the front gates. With a sense of achievement and relief, fun was the inevitable objective once we set our feet in.

There are a variety of things I love to do there. For example, there was music. We would make our own, or sometimes listen to our favourite artistes over the MP3 player or laptop. If I brought my own guitar, there'll be a mini jamming session, although I must admit, I suck at singing and lyrics. Her voice is way better than mine, and it sometimes feel like I'm from earth and she's from heaven. Heavenly voice. There used to be a piano there too, and she plays wonderful pieces too. I love piano songs, and she definitely played good one. There have been some recordings of ours and her other friends, and it feels good to hear them sometimes. Nostalgic.

There was also competition. We would challenge each other, or play doubles in a game of tennis. Our opponents are all in the top league of tennis, like Kim Clijsters, Serena Williams, Carlos Moya and Andy Roddick. Win some, lose some, but definitely fun. It's not easy to swing a racket with a controller, but we worked it out. She's definitely good at that too.

Somehow, there would always be this aura of relaxation whenever I stay there for a certain time. With the cool breeze of the air-conditioner, my eyes would grow heavier over time, putting me to a certain daze. I've dozed off a few times over there, but always woke up feeling superbly refreshed and ready. Maybe it's because of the high altitude and fresh air that I feel that way, but heck the science, it was just comfortable.

It wasn't all fun and no work. Sometimes, I would read picture books. One of the first few books I read was about shinigamis (death gods) and hollows, and how there was a battle between the two sides. It was one hell of a story, still ongoing and unfinished. I kept on reading until its latest chapter. Hours passed by quickly that day, but it was well spent. I could never have thanked her enough for such a nice story. I still read it now, every week whenever possible.

She has a wonderful family, and family tree. It makes me envious at times to think of it that way, but I'm absolutely happy for her and the life she's living now. I know that I can always count on her and her bungalow for a jolly good time, no matter how short or long the duration of stay was. It was fun, and it is still fun.

How I love the bungalow on the mountain. =)

Hotcakes

2006-08-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

I awoke with a dizzy spell today, my mind still stressed by my tired body telling me to get back to sleep after a distant run of fourteen-point-four kilometers yesterday. It was part of the conditioning for the upcoming Army Half Marathon on the twenty-seventh this month, and I needed this. I've been missing the training for the past three weeks, and that definitely ain't good. It was a turn-off to have to run in camp, whereby the dull scenery repeats itself in a seemingly endless nine rounds. Alas, the thought of getting the three days off for completing the run gave me some encouragement. (It must be below two hours and thrity minutes.) Welfare comes in such difficult trials nowadays.

The thought of McDonald's Hotcake Meal made me get out of bed with a certain ease, and with a little stomach growl. I've been doing it for the past few weekends, or any mornings I'm at home for that matter. I'm not sure if it's the honey, the melted butter on the hotcakes, or simply my empty stomach being pampered, but it makes me happy for most parts of the day everytime I do so. Maybe it's a psychological conditioning effect brought over from the past, from which I remembered Hotcakes being my childhood favourite meal, almost every morning. Times then were much happier, where all you had to do was say what you wanted, and depending on how reasonable your request was, you'd get it with no qualms or worries. How pampered we were, and how different a life we're living now as compared to that. Totally different. I feel a little old thinking about the past now, but I guess the solitude at home makes you travel back in time sometimes.

Speaking of time travel, it reminds me of Michael Crichton's 'Sphere'. A beautifully written book, although I know some may not appreciate the concepts of scientific facts being in it. I realise I liked his books because the scientific facts he states in his books stir a sense of wonder with every page I read. 'Jurassis Park', 'The Lost World', 'Timeline' and 'State Of Fear', all these books have a certain scientific theme to it. I give credit to his style of writing too. I think I'll go ahead with reading all his books, although I've been warned that some are not as good. A partial reason may be due to me being oblivious to other wonderful writers. I shall slowly discover them. By the way, read 'Sphere'. I highly encourage that. I'm reading 'Prey' by Michael Crichton now.

How time flies when your mind is at rest. Thought of a few things in the sub-conscious zone. Been having a few more dreams lately, and I'm not sure what they mean. There was one that made me happy though, but when I think about it, it's sad to think that the feeling of happiness can only be achieved through dreams. That would be a sad life, wouldn't it? A temporal drug that gives infinite possibilities, on both sides of good and bad. How scary.

'Life is a reminder to let us know that death is around the corner.'

Ants

2006-08-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

I am a lover of ants. As a kid, I'd spent almost half an hour (maybe more if my mum is preoccupied at the market) gazing at the line of ants, busy with hunting and foraging in the sand and soil nearby. I admire them for their organised society, discipline and their hunting skills basically. I'd take a bug nearby and just lay it in their battlefield, observing the way every single one of the ants help out to bring down their prey. It is quite a slow process, but I guess that means I won't miss a single piece of the action. (It's a bonus if you're bored at the wet market with almost nothing to do but give way to rampaging aunties with bags or trolleys.) It's really nice to observe, although it may sound sadistic of me to sacrifice a bug's life for my own amusement. Ants are downright awesome.

Sadly, I hate to be in contact with them. Shit. Just came back from a 3D3N outfield training. (They call it the Advanced Section Proficiency Test. Basically, it's a platoon level operation, but if you feel that 15 people make a platoon, you're dead wrong. The original, or expected, strength to attend this course was 50 actually. Yeah, notice the big difference in numbers there, albeit the close similarity in pronounciation.) In any case, the point is, I've been bitten like nobody's business by the ants. Face, legs, arms, back and, crap, they didn't even spare the delicate part. I swear, it is the most irritating feeling to be bitten over and over from day to night, day one to day three. It is the jungle, so I had no choice there. It wasn't my home ground, and being on their turf, I guess I'm under their rules now. (At my house, the deciding factor for total war between me and them is pesticide. Heh. Deterrence.) It doesn't help that I have to prone/stand-to at locations where there are ant nests just under or beside me. Guys should understand what this means. Oh well, I'm home now. Nothing a few days of rest won't fix. Home is the best place to be!

Been engrossed in Michael Crichton's 'Sphere'. It's been an awesome book so far, and I although I've seen the movie before, the fact that I can't remember it well makes the book even more exciting. It is so good, that even the Regimental Police (RP) at the Ayer Rajah Camp took one glance at the book and just said "That's a great book man." All I could say was "You know it!". Heh. Won't be touching the computer for a few days I believe.

I'm getting that enlightened moment right now. Just want to get back on track with my guitar, computer and life. I just realised it's august. Haha. Time flies. I'm kind of excited to start over a new life, that of a free man. But I know I have to go through hell first before I get there. Oh well, perseverance comes into play.

Here's the MV of Mint Royale's 'Singing In The Rain'. I'm still addicted to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrCjuJ3b1Xg

Here are other videos to look out for.

A rather cool Japanese prank:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfJP0aPnRxU

Soccer clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaFm47lsL2g

Media cock-up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCzaeeaHTi4

Politics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbeK-vstx7g

Pablo Francisco:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whGVaLoIvkw

Coldplay as The Nappies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_1wDqgYObE

That'd be all for now.

Wheels For Legs

2006-07-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

It's a glorious feeling, to be able to drive on the road, without feeling nervous of harbouring the wrong technique that will gain you demerit points in a driving pracitcal or test. I'm so much better off on the road now than I've ever been when I was a student driver. Driving with a proper license is definitely like a power-up item. You gain confidence, you gain speed, but most of all, you gain the car! Thanks mum, for all the support you've given me during my 1 year of driving lessons. (6 months of waiting, if I might add, during that one year. Crap.)

The moment I passed my driving test, mum fetched me, and we went on a lot of roads. CTE, SLE, BKE, KJE and AYE. My first destination was Nanyang Technological University (NTU). It was such a long journey, and I didn't realise that even with a car, it was so distant. If only there was an autopilot option. In any case, I've learnt how to drive to my destined school next year. Not that I'll be driving there on a daily basis. I'm considering staying in hall for the first year, the second, and maybe the third, and possibly the fourth and final one. I'm unsure for the moment, but I'm really looking forward to my next schooling chapter. I've learnt how to send my dad to work too, and so, weekends will be busy for me too. It's all good. I want to learn about all the roads in Singapore as soon as possible, so that eventually, I can fetch and send my friends and family anywhere, anytime.

At night, I went to the Coldplay Twisted Logic Tour concert. Me and wally were so damn close to the stage, it was about 2 arms length away from reach. It was quite a shocker to have such good seats, at the front of it all, the nearest of it all. But heck, we were there, and that's all that mattered. Wally made a call to her sister, and I thanked her as well for providing me with such a wonderful opportunity. Took quite a lot of pictures and videos of the concert, but I've not transferred them all into the computer. Shall post it up once I've done so. For the moment, all I can say is this. Awwwwwwsome! I'm not a hardcore fan, but they played with so much energy, I was sucked into it. They are really talented, and the sound effects were crazy. So was Chris Martin, who was full of insane energy during the concert. They don't need fancy costumes, clothes or stage dancers. All they needed were their instruments, the crowd and a fancy back screen. That did the trick alright. Goddamn. Did I mention that we almost managed to get a touch of Chris' hand, while he was running around the Indoor Stadium like a maniac all the way to the back? He stood next to this lucky girl, who went weak in the knees, cried in disbelief and glee, and was probably dumbfounded that Chris Martin was actually right beside her. You lucky girl! Heh.

Well, enough details for now. I just enjoyed the concert, and it's my first of such a kind. Now, if only John Mayer came. That'd be of guitargasmic proportions. Oh yeah.

'I know what I don't want to know, and that is to know nothing at all.'

David Elsewhere

2006-07-15T09:06:00.000+08:00

If you've seen the video below and you think it's cool, I believe the person in that commercial is called David Elsewhere. From what I know, he's one of the best robot dancers around. Not too sure about him in breakdancing though. Surprisingly, he has appeared in several big commercials. Haha. You'd never know till now. Here are some more of his videos. Personally, I think he's cool. Kudos to zam for introducing me to him.

Heineken Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRuaUNXZDGk

Slurpee Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHrGB32hjM4

iPod Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbQmTs9d0_E

Miscellaneous:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUw-LFPJoPE&search=david%20elsewhere

Singing In The Rain

2006-07-15T08:54:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu7hG8ZajEY

Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain

Dancin' in the rain
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
I'm happy again!
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain!

I'm dancin' and singin' in the rain...
[ADDITIONAL VERSE]
Why am I smiling
And why do I sing?
Why does September
Seem sunny as spring?
Why do I get up
Each morning and start?
Happy and head up
With joy in my heart
Why is each new task
A trifle to do?
Because I am living
A life full of you.

Touchdown And Take-Off

2006-07-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

The airport will be holding two important events these two days.

First of all, daena is coming back from the US back here to Singapore. It's been a damn long time since she left here physically, leaving a big gaping hole in my life since we always used to terrorise Bugis for one reason or another, played guitar together, compete and cooperate for PS2 tennis matches at her house, and basically talk a lot of cock along the way for quite a long time running. Haha. Daena, you little bugger. Darn you for making me feel this way. I'm not sure if you're back here yet, as I've yet to receive a call from you, but I hope you call soon. Let the good times roll once more.

Secondly, timothy is leaving for Australia tomorrow night. Sigh. I tell this to my friends everytime something like this happens, and I shall repeat it again. I'M DAMN SAD EVERYTIME WHEN ANY OF MY FRIENDS LEAVES SINGAPORE FOR LONG STUDIES.
Two reasons for this:

1.Well, I'll definitely miss them. To know that you can no longer take a short ride on a SBS bus to their house or town (for some, in a car) to meet up is depressing. But heck, it's their life, and I have no qualms to desperately request them to stay. It's just my expression of saying that there will always be a friend waiting here in Singapore for them.

2.I want to go abroad too. To study, to have a vacation, anything, as long as it takes me away from the norms of my life here for just a while. Alas, the chance hasn't revealed itself yet. So seeing that they can do so makes me kind of envious.

Praying for their safe journey to and fro.

To tim: You dickhead. You've irritated me on a daily basis with your 'act cute' actions, richard gere's pretentious look in the commercial, invasion of my privacy, high degrees of handphone theft and canteen requests. SIGH. Be sure to drop a message when you come back dude. All the best, and I'll pay a visit whenever I can. A friend to remember, and you can always count on me to do your bidding here. Haha. Don't worry, your anime will be delivered. Careful not to jotto matte over there too much.

Silence Is Black And White, And Maybe Blue

2006-06-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if anyone ever remembers that there was such a thing called silent movies. Besides being a pleasure for all the deaf people, we too can enjoy the wonders of such a movie. I am so thankful that I went out last sunday with hoon. First, I've not met evil buddy hoon for quite some time due to her exams. Second, I was able to catch a performance cum screening of a series of silent movies at the Esplanade's Outdoor Theatre. Golly, I must have been a lucky guy that night.

There was this Australian group of about 5 I think, calling themselves the Blue Grassy Knoll, that performed with violins, harmonicas, drums, guitars, cello, an old handphone (they creatively used a ringtone for one scene), and some other musical instruments which I've forgotten about. And the conductor was inhuman, literally. They took cue from a projector screen that screened the silent movies of Buster Keaton. (At the end of their set pieces, they always thanked the screen. Hilarious!) I admit, in shame, that I've never heard of Buster Keaton. But his movies spoke volumes of the genius he is. I managed to watch 2 out of 3 of the screenings that night. 'Cops' and 'Sherlock Junior'. They're about 45 minutes each, but at the end of it, you'd probably be asking for more.

So there I was, sitting with hoon in front of the screen, with Blue Grassy Knoll making all the sound effects for the bonks, the comical conflicts and romance, and ferocious but classical police chase. (Not in cars mind you. Just good ol' goofy blue-but-you-can't-tell-cos-it's-a-black-and-white-movie uniformed cops running with small clubs in their hands.) It was beautifully done, and you might be tempted to think that maybe the movie was not so silent after all. Not like I ignored the group. They were one with the movie, and I was one with both the movies and the band. And I wasn't alone. The whole crowd at the outdoor theatre, regardless of race or nationality, was with me on this one.

Applause.

Cheers and phwee-weeeeting. ===> Can someone tell me the correct word?

Smiles and laughter.

The lustful hunger for more.

It was what we all had in common that night. And I truly will never forget such a wonderful experience like that day, ever. I want to share this with the young'uns, and maybe, my own too in the future. Heh. I shall do a bit more research about Buster Keaton, his movies, and Blue Grassy Knoll. Things are getting lively once again. In the meantime, rejoice in a little pool of knowledge through these sites.

Things about Buster Keaton:
http://www.busterkeaton.com/
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000036/

Things about Blue Grassy Knoll:
ARGH! CAN'T FREAKING FIND ANYTHING USEFUL! HELP!

Yeah, that's it.

Breaker Uppercutter

2006-06-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

Was just watching something hilarious about a couple.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=14Qd4Z3XCD4&search=devil%20may%20cry%20commercial

Gah! That was a cruel break-up man. Haha. I mean, wow, ok la, if there ever was such a break-up like that, it'd be pretty cool, instead of the usual weeping and depression.

I sometimes wonder if I'd been a lousy boyfriend before. Well, it's pretty vague if you think about the term 'bad', because even when you're really good to someone, it's also considered bad. But you will always come back to that same question at the end of it: Did I do something wrong? I can write out a whole list about why I should be in the wrong, because depression makes you think that way. But that's not the point, isn't it? It's not about what you did wrong. It's not about what she did wrong. It's about negotiating with each other what should be, what shouldn't, and what could. I regret that I wasn't the assertive type, as I always bowed down to her like a minion to a goddess. I always gave way, and I never really mentioned assertively what I didn't like about the relationship. I was that kind of person to always be on the losing side, as long as I can make her happy. But what defines happiness? I thought I knew, but I knew nothing about what exactly it was. I kept on guessing and calculating the best course of action, because I was scared of losing, and losing her. I was blindfolded with fear when I was already blind with love. I guess to me, that was what caused it to sink. Ah, again with the guesses and 'I Think' theories.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but maybe it's because my friend just mentioned to me about his old case of a break-up and it's aftermath just now. Somehow, it brought back all those memories. Good, bad, but mostly good in my opinion. I'm not trying to make this sound like those melodramatic dramas that shows a guy staring blankly into space with a sea breeze blowing in his face looking all mournful and a little teary as if the world is going to end so that I should just commit suicide before it happens but then again I'm indecisive on whether I should do that because it's not really the end of the world...but I wanted to be thankful, to her, for giving me the chance, and an eventful experience before. Through thick and thin, we'll still be good friends. =)

Argh, my mind is in such a mess now. It must be due to work! Haiz. ORD, I'm still waiting for you to save me.

Kites

2006-06-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

I've been reading this book. 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini. It's a really, really nice book! Argh, it is the kind of book that converses with you when you read it. When you read something good happening in it, you'll smile, ponder and laugh aloud. When you read something disastrous happening, you whine and scold the character involved, as if he ever existed. When you read about something ominous, you feel nervous and wonder what would happen next. That's the kind of book this one is like, and believe me when I say I am full with emotions when I read it. At one point of time, I messaged wally to curse a character in the book, for being such an asshole. Haha. I still think he's an asshole. I don't want to spend too much time trying to tell you what the book is about, so I'll leave you with a synopsis from amazon.com:

In his debut novel, The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini accomplishes what very few contemporary novelists are able to do. He manages to provide an educational and eye-opening account of a country's political turmoil--in this case, Afghanistan--while also developing characters whose heartbreaking struggles and emotional triumphs resonate with readers long after the last page has been turned over. And he does this on his first try.

The Kite Runner follows the story of Amir, the privileged son of a wealthy businessman in Kabul, and Hassan, the son of Amir's father's servant. As children in the relatively stable Afghanistan of the early 1970s, the boys are inseparable. They spend idyllic days running kites and telling stories of mystical places and powerful warriors until an unspeakable event changes the nature of their relationship forever, and eventually cements their bond in ways neither boy could have ever predicted. Even after Amir and his father flee to America, Amir remains haunted by his cowardly actions and disloyalty. In part, it is these demons and the sometimes impossible quest for forgiveness that bring him back to his war-torn native land after it comes under Taliban rule. ("...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.")

Some of the plot's turns and twists may be somewhat implausible, but Hosseini has created characters that seem so real that one almost forgets that The Kite Runner is a novel and not a memoir. At a time when Afghanistan has been thrust into the forefront of America's collective consciousness ("people sipping lattes at Starbucks were talking about the battle for Kunduz"), Hosseini offers an honest, sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, but always heartfelt view of a fascinating land. Perhaps the only true flaw in this extraordinary novel is that it ends all too soon.

I highly recommend this book. And as wally has said before, it's going to be a movie. Bless them for having an eye for quality, wally included. =) Hope it stays true to the story, as movies have a tendency of betraying the original goodies.

That's it. Oh, eileen, still praying for your safety in the US. Heh.

Jam

2006-06-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

I just went jamming the other day with my BMT mate, who amazingly recalls that I like john mayer and his music. I mean, it's been more than a year since our last point of contact, and he actually messages me one fine day:

Ahmad, still remember me? Andy from your bmtc platoon. You still playing john mayer songs?

Like wah, that brought a smile to my face. Yes indeed. It's realy cool ar. Anyway, so after a small exchange of sms-es, he was wondering if I'd like to jam john mayer songs. What other answer could I have possibly given when faced with such a question? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY! =) So we all met up at Peninsula Excelsior for our jamming session. Besides a drummer that couldn't make it, it was me, andy (due to the lack of a drummer, he played the drums while doing vocals) and a bassist. (Sorry, I didn't manage to catch your name.) Once we were there, it was just us and music that linked us all. It's not like we played john mayer songs entirely. There was a tinge of jason mraz and howie day as well, and forgive me wally, I forgot about Damien Rice's songs. Haha. They were requesting to play that. All in all, I enjoyed the session, as it was my first time playing with a true bassist. He didn't play a monotonous range of notes, but improvised, and played almost like David Labruyere in the album. It was really fun, and short. We only played for ninety minutes, but man, we played to the max. Here's the set list:

1.St. Patrick's Day by John Mayer
2.3x5 by John Mayer
3.No Such Thing by John Mayer
4.City Love by John Mayer
5.Why Georgia by John Mayer
6.You And I Both by Jason Mraz

Andy wasn't able to concentrate fully with his vocals while playing the drums, and who can blame him? It sure is tough. So at times, he used his tamborine and made do with that while singing. His vocals are strong, I can assure you that. Of course, what would make any jamming session sweeter is the sound of drums. =)

We tried 'Collide' by Howie Day as well, and it turned out pretty good too. As I found out later on, andy had only just started listening to john mayer, and starting from 'Room For Squares', his first official album. (Although, for me, I think 'Inside Wants Out' deserves to be called his actual first.) The bassist had more exposure though, so he was pretty cosy with most of the songs. I was surprised he had not listened to 'John Mayer Trio' yet. Dude, you won't want to miss it.

So there goes my first official jamming session with them. "Don't worry, we'll definitely meet up more in future" were the last few words of andy when we left. It turns out that this was not andy's band, just people gathered for the first time to try things out. The result? Pretty good. I need to improve much more from now on. Oh, and I need to get myself that damn Fender Stratocaster. Argh!

Daena, yes, Captain Planet and me can be the best of buds, but never better than us. Haha. You and your imagination have been really running wild huh? I hope you're reading this, because it's been so long since I last had a chatting session with you. How do I describe this feeling? Hmm. It's like me losing that precious pebble stone you gave me on my 15/16th birthday which you so blatantly told me you picked up from the front of the general office because you suddenly remembered in the wee hours of the morning that it's my birthday, but I still treasure it because I think it's the most wonderful gift a person has ever given me and it's still holding a big space in my room as if it was the elixir of life. That's how I feel. Haha. Hope you've been doing well, and I can't help but wait for your return here in Singapore. I wonder if you know this already, but eileen's already in the US right now. She's doing fine. Ah, so many things to fill you in on, yet time has a way of stealing the details as it goes by. Hope I don't forget what I want to share with you. =)

I notice I've not been blogging for quite some time now, and I do apologise for that. It's just that, there have been so many distractions and obstructions for me to do this. And I wonder, just to how many people does this message stretch to? Sometimes I wonder, am I apologising to the people reading this, or am I apologising to the blog for not doing so? Haha. I don't know. I treat non-living things the way I treat living things. Respect.

It's about four more weeks to my next driving test. Hmmm.

Spike Me

2006-06-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

Here's a toast, to a very entertaining website that I have oh-so-wrongly neglected, and by which I fully regret doing so. Spikedhumor is probably one of the most interesting sites to visit besides Youtube. It's not easy to find things that make you laugh, and by laughing, I do mean to the extent of pissing in your pants. (No chairs or floor were victimised in real life.) There are also some other cool things too. I know, they have a wide archive of pictures and videos to choose from, so here's a tip. Go to Torrentspy and see the featured Spikedhumor articles of the day. I didn't even have to break a sweat. Of the few I've seen, I'd like to highlight a few which I've enjoyed. Give it a go.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/31953/Most_Outrageous_Moments.html
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/31466/Neo_Vs_Robocop.html

Oh, and I love everything about Conan O'Brien right now. And although I've not seen his late night shows and such, I'd gladly watch it if I knew when it was in Singapore. Let the videos speak for themselves.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/22411/Conan_O_Brien_Seinfeld_Auditions.html
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/31078/Conan_O_Brien_Stackenblochen.html
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/9516/Conan_O_Brien_Visits_Martha_Stewart.html

And I think he has something against Walker Texas Ranger? Haha. Can someone fill me in on that please?

Grease

2006-05-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

As much as I'd like to talk about the grease we use to lubricate vehicle parts or the grease that cleans my oily hands when I do ground work, no, I won't and I can't, because one: who'd want to read about that grease, and two: I'm no longer a technician. Well, that's not true, I am one, just that someone had a brilliant idea to bring me up as a clerk recently due to the fumbling of a certain idiotic fellow. Hatred, to my current position and to that thoughtful idiot.

But that aside, Grease, the movie starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, is definitely a movie worth every ounce of your attention. It is a classic, a masterpiece, a favourite of mine. I can remember the time I first watched it. It made me think about music, about love and, most importantly, about getting that wicked car called Grease Lightning. (Hey, it's slick alright!) And although I've only watched that movie once, and at a young age, I can still recall a lot of scenes. I recently got a hold of their songs, and it's amazing to hear them all over again. It's like time has never even moved all this while. What can I say? Good things always last forever.

And now, I'm rather hyped about this friday, as I'm going to watch 'Grease - It's Still The Word' at the National Indoor Stadium. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a blast. Unfortunately, my wallet has been hit pretty badly as well. Haha. Oh well, if it's for a good cause, I can't really complain can I?

Oh, I recently bought a ticket to the Coldplay concert as well. Thanks to an excited Wally, we got our hands on it before it expectedly sold out fast. Again, my wallet is crying. Oh well, another good cause. =)

I would like to call for a moment of silence for my friend's friend who passed away today. I heard it was a motorbike accident, and that is a cruel death. My respects to you, although I do not know you at all. A word to all motorists: Please be mindful about safety at all times. Think about what you'll be losing and be losing out on. It sounds naggy, but it's irritating for a reason, because you know deep inside, it's true.

Alright, that ends it. I'm going to catch up on some lost sleep. I am in need of it.

The Mind Of A Suicidal

2006-05-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

I can almost feel the minds of people who commit suicide. I can understand why some people choose to do that which is almost impossible to perform. An act of death unto one's self. Everytime I try to imagine myself thrusting a knife through my chest, or jumping from the 19th storey, there's this humane sensation saying "Dude, what are you thinking?!". Indeed, what was I thinking? It is this voice that saves many people. The voice of conscience. And not just any conscience. The conscience of being alive. It is probably that thin thread that keeps us away from giving our lives away needlessly. Yet, through it all, I'm beginning to understand. Scary, but true.

For it seems, I'm hitting the lowest point in my life right now. Coupled by problems I can't accept, flashes of horrific scenarios run through my mind. Of me, jumping in front of a speeding car. Of me, cutting myself with a rusty blade. Of me, jumping off the top a towering building. Of me, doing unthinkable things. I kid you not, I do see it. This is the mind of someone who has lost hope and wants to be set "free". It's these thoughts that can really cause suicide. It's very temptuous, but it's just not me to do such a thing. Well, that's for me. We can only wonder how others are affected with images like that.

But to kill yourself, that's the saddest excuse to run away from something. I confess, I do want to run away from a lot of things, and just be free. To be my own boss, to do what I want and feel like doing, to be me. But I always tell myself, nothing will ever go my way. You have to pick up that hiking gear, gear up, and conquer that highest mountain, and other mountains that you come across as well. It's the challenge, the game of life, at difficulty mode I might add, that makes me play my hardest.

Well, it was interesting studying the mind of a suicidal person. Don't worry, I'm always going to try to live my life to the fullest. I'm just grumbling over where I am now. How much longer till I reach the peak? Hmm.

Undetectable Fear

2006-05-14T17:32:00.000+08:00

Monday, the day in which my batallion was given a day off due to polling day, was a freaky day for me. More so because what I'm about to say didn't happen once or twice before. (First of all, I want to say thank you to my Commanding Officer (CO) for being such a good-hearted man, and I'm not saying this because he gave us off. He is truly a leader with a good heart. 6DSMB, we can! =P) Anyway, back to the story.

Being one of those rare days whereby you can spend your weekday out of camp, it was a timely break. I was depressed, of being the new clerk, and of not being able to do as well as I'd like, and this was my day to just break free. I decided I should take a trip to the National Library, a place I'm growing accustomed to as calling it my third home, with second being in camp unfortunately. With overdue books in the bag, I was compelled to return it by that day, or face an ever-growing fine. It was a peaceful journey, going there all alone, with just a book, a bag and a Sony Mini-Disc Player for company.

After getting new books to read, and settling the fines from overdue books, I went on to Bugis Junction to window shop. You know how shopping malls nowadays have laser sensors on those automatic doors. (We live in an era of laziness and convenience eh?) Entering was no problem. But when I wanted to leave, the door did not open. You'd figure with laser sensors, as sensitive as they are, it'd be impossible not to detect a human. Wrong! For some reason, it didn't detect me. I was all alone there. Puzzled. It only opened when another couple came near it.

Now, what's freaking me out was the thought of me not being a real entity in this world. Was that a moment of carelessness from a system to make me believe I'm real? I am pretty sure that when I entered, I had people around me, so detection was not on my part. It made me think, "Was that for real? Am I real?" It's a stupid thought, I know, but I've always had this feeling that there are some things in this world that doesn't feel real, including me. But hey, who am I to say what's real or not? I'm just saying it's a feeling. The only reason why this concerns me was that this has happened to me on several other occasions before, and not all at the same venue. A glitch? An error? I do not know. Sometimes, I doubt my existence at all. Just what is real nowadays? I wonder if the old technique of pinching yourself to feel pain in justifying reality is truly reliable. Nobody knows. Nobody cares?

Now, away from all that philosophical mambo jumbo, here's a video that feels a little too unreal. Haha. It's good though. Enjoy. (Credits to wally.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

Back to reality. Tomorrow's my IPPT, and I'd better rest. Cya.

Boo

2006-05-14T12:08:00.000+08:00

I recently read a book titled 'Boo' by Rene Gutteridge. It's a story of how an infamous horror novelist, Wolf Boone, lost the feeling of writing another horror novel, thus turning to religion to start anew. The small town in which he lives in, Skary, Indiana, is against the idea of him abandoning his profession, as doing so will mean that it will revert back to a no-name place before he came around. Finding new peace in himself, he seeks out to fill in the void, and a budding love interest. However, he faces a wall of people who secretly wants to revert him back to the same horror novelist that made the town so successful.

First of all, I didn't expect it to be holding Christian values in the story. Disregarding that fact, I believe that this book gives a warm feeling when you read it. I acknowledge it more for the comedic situations, the depth of characters involved, and how the storyline binds together like perfect knitting from front to back. It's a nice book, and it reminds me of my childhood favourite series of 'Fear Street' and 'Goosebumps' by R. L. Stine, the latter being my top favourite.

I read quite a lot of those books in my primary school days, always buying/renting new ones constantly. I always felt that horror novelists have a good sense of making an environment come alive with words. And more so when I read 'Boo', giving the same viewpoint as I did. I could always imagine the monster or ghost, coming around the bend, behind that shelf, while the unsuspecting kids await a horrific moment. I loved that about horror books. That's why I liked to write narrative pieces. You can just concentrate on letting your imagination run wild.

I don't read those anymore, but I am thankful to these books that made me interested in the English language. It was so influential, that when my English teacher (then Mr Seethor) commented it was not worth reading those books anymore when I was in Secondary One, I stopped reading books for very very long, lasting many years. I did it out of anger I guess. But looking back, it was rather foolish. Haha. I am back on reading, more so because I'm in army, where brain decomposition is a norm. I hate those grammatical errors, those spelling mistakes, the poor sentence construction, the poor English. Sure, I know how to correct it, but it irritates me just to see a line like, "Get a flat screwdriver to screwed it back." Doesn't this just piss you off??

I liked a line Wally said yesterday. "Intelligence can be ignored, stupidity is hardly the case." He was commenting on how there are so many stupid people around. Asking pointless questions and bringing up senseless topics. He witnessed all these in forums, in which he is a regular by the way. Forums are great sources of information, and with the right kind of people, it is definitely a hub of golden information. Yet, there are always those who spoil it, and they spoil it bad. I've heard quite a few funny excerpts from him about forums. I guess the '300KB of horror' is the best yet. =P So hmmm, I do agree with his statement. Do you?

Today's Mother's Day, and I gave my mum the presents. I'm not used to fluffy moments, so yeah, today was weird. Got to cut this post short. My mum wants to bring us out for lunch. Bye bye.

Ghost Writer

2006-05-08T15:47:00.000+08:00

It is something which has eluded me for so long. Ghost Writer has definitely been one of the more interesting TV shows for me out there when I was young. Despite the simple theatrics used for the Ghost Writer himself (he looks like a ball with eyebrows), the mysteries more than make up for it.

Mr Ghostwriter. =)

Why am I suddenly talking about this? It is out of pure coincidence actually. Went to the National Library today to borrow some books, that of which I've been deprived of for a few weeks now. I had not set my mind for any book, so I casually browsed through the shelves, hoping to eye some interesting books, and covers. (Covers and text quality play a big part for me in choosing a book.) Then it came around. 'Boo' by Rene Gutteridge. The cover is just a simple abstract of a cat on a creamy background. Simple and nice. So I started reading it and it turned out to be quite a page turner too. Reading the synopsis, the last line wrote:

Rene Gutteridge is the author of Ghost Writer and Troubled Waters.

It definitely rang a bell, and suddenly, I was surged by memories of the TV series Ghostwriter. Although I was intrigued by the title, the series and the book are written by different writers, and are different in terms of sotryline as well. Here's the link for the series.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108787/

Here's an excerpt from the 'Ghostwriter Unofficial Website':

"Ghostwriter is the story of a ghost that has been inside a book for many years and is unleashed when the book is dropped from a shelf in Jamal Jenkins' basement. The ghost is very confused and it finds that it can read words. It can also take letters from written words and use them to spell out messages. It uses Jamal's computer to write to Jamal and at first Jamal is really scared. Then Jamal begins to write to the ghost and Jamal doesn't see the ghost as something scary to him anymore, but a friend. The ghost is given the name Ghostwriter because it's a ghost and it writes: ghost+write=Ghostwriter. Ghostwriter looks like a glowing ball with a furrowed brow (that's how I'd describe him). Not everyone can see Ghostwriter and the next person to encounter the friendly ghost is Lenni Frazier followed by Alex Fernandez and his little sister Gaby. Each of the kids are already connected to one another (Lenni lives in the apartment above Alex and Gaby's parent's store and Jamal knows Lenni and Alex because they all go to the same school), but Ghostwriter brings them closer together. Every show is has a mystery to solve and the kids soon find out that Ghostwriter can help them find clues that they wouldn't normally be able to get. They join together to form the Ghostwriter Team."

The Ghostwriter Team.

Simple structure, but beautifully elaborated in every story arc. It does not only dedicate one episode for a mystery, but around five. It is this lengthening of a story arc that kept me glued to the series. I remembered that when a mystery was solved, it was always worth the wait. Haha. This is another classic that was underrated and underappreciated. The series was cancelled due to lack of funding. Man, if only I was richer then to give them my support!

So here's to Ghostwriter, another influential chapter of my life. You rock man! I really loved the series.

Here's a link to the unofficial website.

http://www.geocities.com/unofficialgw/index.htm

Having Fun With Blades

2006-05-07T19:00:00.000+08:00

Went rollerblading yesterday with kexin and vegustian. Ah, it felt really, really good. It's been quite some time since I rollerbladed, last being about 3 to 4 months ago. Went to East Coast Park (ECP) for this.

We all met at Serangoon Macdonalds. A place full of memories too, in both my Zhonghua and Nanyang times. We were supposed to meet at 8 in the morning for a hearty breakfast. Alas, like any good Singaporean, there will always be someone late. It was not my turn that day. Haha. Came at 8, and they arrived at 845. *Snores*

Hotcakes are my fave!

It was raining rather heavily that morning. The kind where floods can be of no surprise. But I guess it is kind of a blessing. It stopped when kexin and vegus came, so the rest of the day was with clear, blue skies. Vegus showed off his blades. I asked him for the brand. He replied rollerblade. I asked him again. He said rollerblade again. I was pretty confused until he explained that Rollerblade is really the brand. He explained that Rollerblade was the one which started it off. Cool. I didn't know. So hmm, should we be sued for infringing their copyright and trademark agreements? =P Here's the site.

http://www.rollerblade.com/index.php

Took 135 to ECP. Got a bit lost because the surrounding area has undergone renovation. An old man was kind enough to redirect us back on the right path to ECP, so hooray to friendly Singaporeans. With vegustian around, it made us seem like foreign tourists. Haha. After kexin rented her blades, we went on with rollerblading. I kind of like my new blades, because it gives me speed and comfort. But it has terrible ankle support after one and a half hours. Gah. Must find a way to solve this problem. We almost went from end to end on both sides of ECP, but kexin's time limit was the limiting factor. It wasn't that sad. We got to see the fruit of ECP renovations. There was this new wakeboarding thing. People are pulled around by an overhead line and go for rounds. It still looked pretty new, and more improvements can be made to make it a better success. I didn't take a good picture, but here it is anyway. I think it is called Ski 360 degrees.

You can try looking for an overhead line.

It was time to head back, so we rushed back in a Mission:Impossible kind of way. But not before we took a picture of sandcastles, and I do emphasise the word 'castle'. Bigger than your average sandcastle, it was really great to see one in person. We pretended to be giants, protectors of these ruins. Heh. Take a look.

Took one final picture, and we're off. That marks a day of rollerblading.

Went to Heerens soon after to get a mother's day gift for my mum. Somehow, I already knew what to buy for her. 'ABBA' and 'Rod Stewart' dvds. She likes the classics, and who wouldn't anyway. They're good. So yeah, mother's day is on 14th May. It's pretty early, but I can rest knowing I've already got it prepared. Spoiled myself by buying another Stevie Ray Vaughan dvd. Heh. Watched it just now. Awesome and wicked is all I can say.

Slacked today. Was tired from all that blading. I wish to go for another one soon. =)

Hurt

2006-05-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

Ouch. I loved the song 'The Hurt' by John Mayer so much, I practically hurt my finger as I studied his video and strained my ear to learn this song. Finally knew how to play it, and I'm ninety-five percent sure it's correct. Then played over and over and over till I could sing while playing too. Now my right index finger has got a cut, and one of my strings is smeared with a little bit of blood. Haha. 'The Hurt' hurts.

Whilst walking through town today, I realised the value of someone's face. You may have a hot bod, or a hunky-dory body, but all that can drown away when you see someone's face. I guess I did see someone with a hot bod today, but that thought just faded away when I saw the face. Haha. No offence, just a reaction. Singaporeans generally have nice faces. Just that sometimes, it tends to be quite ah lian or ah beng. Nonetheless, one thing I can say about the ladies. They dress to kill! I don't usually notice it, but going around alone in town today was quite an eye-opener. Sorry if I sound pervertic. I'm a guy. What do you expect? =P

Bought a Revoltage shirt today. Went to Swee Lee to get the string cleaning solution. Went to Skool to check out their merchandise, but was quite disappointed that one of their shirts didn't have a medium size. Said they'll be renovating this week, and it'll be restocked by the next weekend I think. Shall go there again soon. Oh, the Epson corner in Wheelock Place has excellent photographs. I'm awed by the quality of today's entries. Please have a look people.

Hmm. There's really quite a lot of things I need to do in town. Shall put up a small section of this entry to remind myself what they are.

1.Check out Takamine guitars.
2.Check out Levi's merchandise and spend.
3.Have a visit to Zara.
4.Visit National Library to borrow more books.
5.Revisit Skool for their new merchandise and spend if necessary.

On a side-note, please remember to confirm the rollerblading outing.

Let's call it a day. I'm tired.

Making Emails Fun

2006-05-01T11:17:00.000+08:00

Was flipping over an old issue of 8 Days just now after I got back home from guart duty. #804. Read the last page for a usual dosage of laughs, and I just couldn't believe I missed this one. Had a good giggle in the toilet. (Hysterical laughter would have seen my mum call the mental hospital for advice.) Credits to Colin Goh for such brilliant lines.

"8 Alternative 'Out-of-the-office' Auto E-mail Replies" by Colin Goh

1.I am currently on leave, so your e-mail has automatically been deleted.
2.I am currently out of the office, undergoing surgery to have my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
3.You are receiving this automatic reply because I am currently out of the office. If I were in the office, you probably wouldn't have received any reply at all.
4.As I am away on reservist till April 30, I will be unable to delete any useless e-mails until I return to the office. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5.Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just e-mailed me. Please wait by your computer for my response.
6.The e-mail server was unable to verify your server connection and could not deliver this message. Please reboot your computer and try sending again. (When you come back, check your inbox to see how many blur toads followed these instructions.)
7.I will be out of the office until the end of the month for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Roberta' instead of 'Robert'.
8.I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

I thought four and seven were the most hilarious. So here you have it, useful sentences for your working life in the office. Well, it need not be the office. Anywhere else is ok too. =)

Heading out into town later to return my overdue book from the National Library. I've been seeing this name recently. Lee Kong Chian. He's on National Library and SMU. I wonder who he is. Not that Singapore history interests me by much, but I have a taste for curiousity. I heard it's in honour or memory of him. Hmmm.

The NYJC Choir did a spledid performance at Synergy, so here's in honour of them.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PVgtvgIfHVU&search=honda
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aWDNy43ATjc&search=carlton%20draught

And there was breakdancing too. Not as splendid, but then again, here's another link to a super breakdancing video. This is the best I've seen so far.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=H52AhJjoqlg

And to all john mayer fans, here are two videos worth the watch. His new songs.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uQUG20cefEg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KcYNNYkvACY

That's about it. Time to head down to town. Bye bye.

Rekindled Memories

2006-04-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

Today has been a rather packed day. Went to town to return my overdue book, but due to some miscommunication with wally, I couldn't get to the library to do so in the end. Haha. Oh well, time is still on my side I guess. I shall complete this quest on monday. Why monday? Because tomorrow, I'm having duty!! Argh!! Oh well.

After that, went back home with wally to touch on our audition numbers. Played 'Cannonball' by Damien Rice, '3x5' by John Mayer, 'No Such Thing' by John Mayer, 'Doors' by Wally (his own song. not bad), 'Back To You' by John Mayer and some other random songs. In the end, we only performed 'Cannonball' and 'Daughters'. It was a good experience, getting comments from someone not our age and someone who's a total stranger at the cafe. Indeed, I do feel I'm not ready for this. Progressive improvement is my aim. Until I feel that I've reach a decent enough level, maybe I'll come back once again.

Then, it was back to school. Literally. Haha. Went to pay a visit to Nanyang Junior College once again for Synergy. We didn't have tickets, but due to the understanding students there, they were kind enough to let us in. Albeit not having seats, it was still a good enough gesture. Valerie came to join us too, and we met up with xinyu and patricia too. Good to see them all again. You're all looking good. (Does university have some effect??) After the amusing performances, we headed out to serangoon gardens for some munch. Feels like old times. Went to the same place where I ate my worst dare ever. (>.<) Had fun mingling and fooling around with them. I'm getting older, but we're all getting older together. As john mayer said, "Let's grow old together. That might be fun." Haha. I agree.

Think I've spent a little too much today. Not like I've spent much on other days, so it's justifiable. (I hope. Haha.) But I'm improving. Hohoho.

Well, that's it. That ends another weekend day. Monday's Labour Day, so hmm, maybe it's not so bad. Good night.

Manga Disaster

2006-04-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh. This is going to be the greatest disaster ever faced in the world of manga. I mean, what the hell, is this even sane??

http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/10750/The_Paris_Hilton_Manga

Oh please, no, burn it!! Haha. I just can't believe it when I saw it. Not even the wonderful world of manga can't save this girl, or any of her kind, to look good. I mean, normally, manga babes are really babes. This is just plain sad. And it's not that looks that is important here. It is the idea of simply having a manga on her. As if dvds and monitors weren't hit hard enough with her sex video. I wonder who created this strip. I can only imagine what's worse than this. An anime version. *gulps*

Slept for only two hours yesterday. It's amazing I'm still up now, with a slight tinge of nausea. It's about time I got back to sleep. If you're wondering what I've been doing, it's got something to do with Kingdom Hearts. That game is simply amazing. I know it's kind of late, but I recently bought Kingdom Hearts 2, and it's better than ever. Woo! Going to play more tomorrow. Good night amigos.

Impression

2006-04-22T02:34:00.000+08:00

For every person that we know of, and do not, we will always hold a certain level of impression of that person. From a single experience, or a constant exposure to a person, a picture is formed in our minds to acknowledge that person. It can be that you saw someone giving his or her seat to the elderly or pregnant ladies. It might be that you've heard good remarks from people around you, thus the first meeting leads to high expectations of expected proportions. It might be good, it might be bad, but it might not be entirely accurate. All this comes down to your powers of observation and experience. Just how do we exactly judge people?

I do not have a good judge of character and all that jazz. What I do know is that I generally give everyone a fair grade in the middle when I first meet them. I do not care if there were bad remarks of a person in the past, or that someone has a buzzing popularity among the public, because it is unfair to speak of someone you do not know of on a personal level. I can hear people say good and bad things of people, but those are their words. How can I possibly bindly take it in and spread it around like some disease? It's just wrong. Hence, it's because of this I like to interact, to slowly come to terms of who this or that person really is. Whether the impression rating rises or dips, it all comes to those moments of interaction.

I've come to realise first impressions are phony. It got me thinking recently. Not that anything bad has happened to me to a point of deception, but, I tend to think that if I've not talked to someone for more than a week's worth in my life, (or around that timeframe), you are basically still talking to a stranger. There's a difference between knowing a name, and knowing the existence behind the name. Do I only know names? Yeah, maybe some. Not that I want it to be that way. There's just not enough points in my life that intersect with these people. I hope to complete the paintings of these people in my life, for they too hold a certain space in my life.

I've been thinking about my future career. Not that I have a job in mind, but I was thinking just what kind of a job would incorporate my interests as a whole. I love physics, photography, journalism, arts, music, robotics and nature. It scares me to think that I still don't have a clear idea on where Mass Communication will take me. I've searched the career prospects in minute details, and the results are not impressive. Is pay really a factor in my life? I hate to admit it, but sometimes, the truth looms. I'd hate to think that my life only holds a financial value instead of personal values, yet, ignorance would be a foolish move. I definitely want to live a fulfilling life, as well as fulfilling the lives of people whom I love. Just how do I mix these two?

Ah. These questions definitely cannot be ignored for long. Somehow, I hope to find my answer.

Fungus Amongus

2006-04-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

Went to the National Skin Center (NSC) recently to have my foot checked. I was originally scheduled to have that appointment to get rid of my wart/corn on my right toe. But the efficient planning and resources of SAF let me suffered another 2 months plus before I could even get rid of it. And to put icing on the cake, by the time my appointment came around, my wart/corn has already come off, after daily removal of layers by using a razor, thanks to my dad. Wow, thanks SAF! The long weeks of pain sure paid off.

It was quite embarassing to go for the appointment without a wart to remove, but I did have other skin problems that came around, fortunately. It seems to be a fungal infection on the soles of my feet. Wee! So there, I still get to visit NSC. I was kind of interested what kind of place it was, and it didn't disappoint. Though the exterior looks mighty old, the inside is really high tech. And the staff are really helpful. I'd say hotels may have a run for their money with their kind of service. My only disappointment was not being able to experience having nitrogen sprayed on my wart. I was curious to know how painful it is.

The fungus is kind of irritating. It itches, and it burns. And when you wear shoes, it's just quite irritating. Thankfully, it's not deadly. Oh well, hope it gets better soon.

I calculated the number of days till I ORD. It's 202! Ooh, better make early reservations for fireworks. =)

Green Arrow Of Doom

2006-04-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

I am enternally hating green arrows from now on. You know, that little thing that pops up when a traffic light goes red, telling you to "Go right! Go Right!". It flashes, and then blinks a little bit, and then goes back to its dormant little cave to sleep, and be awoken minutes later. Or so I thought.

Haiz, you can probably guess why I even wrote on something like this. Yes, I am sad to announce I've failed my driving test yesterday. I got 30 points, and the green arrow caused me 10 points. I could have passed, but no, I had to encounter that green arrow. Why?! It only just blinked a measly 2 times and just died. What worth is it to have it blink 2 times?? Might as well leave it out right?? Because a time span that short is sure to confuse a few people. I hated it.

Alas, I can't solely blame the green arrow. Maybe, it's for the best. I must say, I was content that my course was perfect, except for moving off in the wrong gear once after an emergency break. Other that that, the only flaw was that green arrow. Here's the story.

I was instucted to turn right at the cross junction. I positioned my car into the right lane, and was prepared to do a right turn. The road was crystal clear, and all seems good. When suddenly, it went red, and the green arrow blinked two times immediately. Where was I at the end of this sequence? Just behind the stop line. So what should I do? Go on and beat the red light? Or stop and stay safe?

I was in a loss of choice to make, alas, choosing safety, in which the driving school name implies (Singapore Safety Driving Cente, SSDC), I stoppped, but ended up halfway on the pedestrian crossing. That cost me ten points. Argh! I could see at that point, the tester had no intention of passing me anymore. Imagine, I had thirty points. Let's do some math here.

I have thirty demerit points.

Let's take away the green arrow penalty.

Thirty minus ten equals twenty.

I can only have eighteen points maximum to pass. So basically, he picked on me for measly things, which could be disregarded. I COULD have passed. Haiz, a fail is a fail. So yeah, buck up and move on I guess. I shall better myself, as some things he said were true about me. My moving off is rather slow. That was the main emphasis he had on me. I will succeed!

The only thing I hate now, is the three months of waiting. My next test date is on tenth july. Once again, I'll have to work hard. For a good cause of course.

Oh, a mass apology to those who I had promised rides. I'll still keep my promise, but I need more time I guess. Wait for me. =)

Frozen

2006-04-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

Went ice-skating today, something which I've not done in more than a year, maybe close to two. Haha. It was really a nice feeling, amidst all that cold atmosphere and chilling ice-water below that soaks your feet. What I meant by 'a nice feeling' was concerning the memories that place hold, and the significance of ice-skating in my life.

I remembered the first time I tried ice-skating. A friend, josline, introduced it to me, as she and her friends organised a celebration for her cousin's birthday at kallang ice-skating center. (Kallang has no more ice-skating activities as of now. Been gone for quite a long time.) Being a blader, it took me quite a short time to figure out how to maneuver. And soon, I found myself loving ice-skating. Maybe there's just something about me and cold temperatures. I love the cold, which can mean a lot of things if scrutinised in a literature approach. Soon after, I had a frenzy of coming to kallang about twice a month, but it didn't last long, because there was always a limit. Yes my friends, the clue is ka-ching. Alas, every visit with long breaks in between seems special to me, even till now.

It was where I experienced snow. Not literally, and I'm not talking about the foam that sprays out from the ceiling. I'm talking about the scraps of ice powder that lie on the ice ring. I'd gather some up, roll into a ball, and start my rounds of mischief. (You gotta admit, it is rather fun albeit the evil intentions.)

It was where I got to hold hands with a girl I like. (This was in Jurong East.) Don't take it as I did it intentionally and purposely, but you know, beginners need non-beginners to help out, if you know what I mean and put aside that thought of "hey-hey-cheeky-mad". So yeah, holding hands with that girl, it was definitely a nice feeling. (When else can you ever hold the hands of the girl you like besides in a relationship?!)

It was where I could really race around with excitement. There's so many people, it gives me andrenalin to move around at a fast pace while evading scores of other skaters in my path. It's like Burnout, only a lot less speed. It definitely beats beating the traffic in an Orchard underpass on a weekend. There's just no thrill and speed in that. Although, I confess, I do pretend to evade people at times, walking like it's a Walk-a-thon.

It was where I could wear my sweater freely. Haha. Ok, this is rather insignificant, but yeah, Singapore is so hot, it'd be absurd to walk around in a sweater. I love sweaters, and I did wear it at times out in the hot weather here. What a fool I was. Maybe I still am?

So today, while skating, it really brought back a lot of memories. More so because I went with my army buddies, people who had played no part in the previous chapters of my life. I miss everyone who were on the ice ring with me.

Aarti, Kexin, Sherying, Jasmine, Li Yee, Darren, Youxiang, Dai Yuan, Josline, Hui Shen, Hui Ling. I've left out some others, but please don't think you're not important. It's just me. Someday, we'll be back together again on the ring. I'm sure we can all enjoy the cold in our warm, sometimes scorching, Singapore.

"I choose, by choice, of choosing the chosen choices choicingly"
A line I made. Does it make sense?

Oh, 'center' and 'centre' really irritated me these past few months. I finally got down to it and searched the correct words to use in any sentence. Ah, bliss.

Center: Just think of a shopping center.
Centre: Just think of the middle of a circle.

Oh, take a look at this. My friend went and cut a cake in such a wonderful manner. These 3 letters mean a lot to a person like me.

I look forward to it.

Shiver me timbers. Port side to my bed side! Goodnight crew!

Change

2006-04-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

Bloggers seem to add a post notifying everyone of the change in blog skin, when it is apparent enough as it is. So I'm just going to join this tradition, or uniformity, for once and say:

I've changed my blog skin.

Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.

Hope you like it.

Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.

Come back often.

Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.

Thank you.

Ok, that ends me following the crowd. Here's to me blogging more in future. =)

Among The Clouds, Beneath The Stars

2006-04-12T21:03:00.000+08:00

It is a wonderful feeling, to breathe the air on a level close to the stars. What not to cherish with the stars for company, and a wonderful friend by your side. The wind play their songs without interruptions, away from the noisy drums of the urban world below. I feel like I'm floating, with glee and with love for the world, all in one view. It may not be the highest, nor the most beautiful of views, but it is no doubt a special night, one to be remembered. I'll never forget this feeling, which carried all my doubts and worries away in a single breeze of the wind. It may be temporary, but it is forever burnt in my memory. May more wonderful moments like this come in the future. If it doesn't, I'll just have to go to it. Thank you, for the day, and for the day after.

Let The Wind Blow It All Away

2006-04-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

It's a matter of consequence. We were together for for only less than 8 years, before that fateful day I was taken, carried away like a guni sack filled with food, with drops of salt water that we call tears. I cried, hated and cursed, but that was in the past. And that past is buried.

It's a matter of time. I've lived the rest of my years accepting what has become, and what I intend to become. I do not blame anyone, and I hope no one blames me either, but nonetheless, I'm not apologetic for anything, as life goes on. I've gone through this over and over in my mind, and my resolution? To live by nobody's expectations except mine. Just in case you don't get it, 'nobody' includes you.

It's a matter of days. I hate those calls, on which that particular day, or those particular days, in which I'm not in a comfortable position to meet up. I hate last minute meetings with you, because it makes me have to compromise things I've planned in my mind and with friends. I do not disregard you, yet, accept that I'm no longer that 8-year old that you once loved, and love still. I still accept you, and there's nothing against you. Yet, why do you have sad spells thinking otherwise. Get this straight. There's no such feelings harbored.

It's a matter of choice. I wish you'd stop pestering me to meet with you, because things are too awkward between me and you. If it is not for you, it is for my side. I know you can feel it, so do not deny it. I can't face you, not because of shame, but a matter of the individuality of mind that I've reached. So if you asked a question, which means I can give an answer in whatever ways I choose, accept that answer. I thank you for asking, and it is good to know that after all these years, you still place a thought for me. But please, I'm sure your youngest two children deserves this blessing. Shower them with all that you wanted to give me, and make them better as they grow up. You've done what you could have, and I'm thankful. Let me remove that burden and decide for myself the path I want to take. I give my blessings to your new life.

It's a matter of words. I'm sorry if I've hurt you with all this, but I am honest in what I want to say, or in this case, write. It's better than a lie, which you taught me never to say. I've learnt, and I am still rather honest. Be it that you, or someone who is very concerned with you, get a hold of this entry, this is the way it has become. I thank you, and know that, I'll never severe our ties. However, I need the peace of mind, as there's a lot of things in time that I have to handle. It'll be big, and I'll need all the strength I can muster.

You can't please everyone in this world. For what you take from one, you give to another. That is all. I'm tired of having to deal with this in my mind. I still love you for what you are, and for what you were. I've changed. For better or worse, I'm not sure. But I do know, I'm happy the way I am now. But I can't show it to you. Not now.

To my two half-brother and half-sister, though I know I may never meet you, do grow up to be wonderful people. Our path is as distinct as that of the east and west. Will we ever intersect? Maybe. Maybe. For now, I shall remain in the shrouds of mystery.

Goodbye, dad.

V For Mayer

2006-03-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

Today's a good day, albeit the accumulated fatigue that's been plaguing me for the past 1 month. And here's reasons why it is one.

1.Distributed coke light to the masses at bedok this morning. Things went very smoothly, and I got to meet all kinds of aunties, uncles and kids, all grinning in anticipation of getting a free chilled bottle. 'Free' is a powerful word. At the first moment, they're unsure of taking the bottle. Once they hear the word 'free' or 'pian fei' (not sure if i spelled correctly for the chinese term), there was a glimmer in their eyes and broad smile given. I'm not putting them down, but you know, how often do you get free goodstuff? They were all very polite to say 'thank you' or 'xue xue' when they received one, but it leaves to wonder, what if it was not free? Hmmm. I'm getting too skeptical of Singapore. Alas, I'm still happy because I get to keep their Coke Light shirt. Haha. I love it!

2.Met up with kai xin. (thanks for correcting the spelling of your name after nearly more than 3 years knowing you. heh.) She's still the same, save for her hair, as she dyed it in the brown range of colours. Looks nice on ya yup. Haven't seen this girl for more than a year, and it's good to know that there's lots to catch up on. I always brag about how we started knowing each other, and I think it's pretty cool. It's basically like this. I commented that she was cute to a fren. Somehow it got to her, and she thought I liked her. I was approached by my female classmate who asked, with a serious face, "Ahmad, u like kai xin is it?" I was a bit surprised, and could not surmise why it came to that at first. After the realization, I went up to her and talked it out. Been good friends ever since. Haha. All this was during my first three months in srjc. Srjc is still a good memory I hold. =)

3.Watched V For Vendetta. My god. The dialouges were powerful, and concept, stupendous. It's been such a long time since I've enjoyed such an intelligent movie. The cast was perfect and the scenes are well organised. The action scenes and theatrics were more than enough of a bonus. And lastly, V is just damn bloody cool la! I'll put the two thumbs up for this one. Think weilien will have trouble coming soon from me. Haha. (Watch out dude! You know what I want!) If there's one thing that I regretted about the movie, it's about not catching some of the dialouge with clarity. I want to read the script.

4.Finished downloading the 2nd volume of johnmayer tv appearances, after two days. Browsed through just now. Looks really great! Shall savour it tomorrow.

Thanks kaixin for a wonderful day of catching up on lost time. Take care yup.

"I want to be pi. It just goes on and on..." - John Mayer
(Heard this on one of his interviews. He was talking about his music. May not be entirely accurate, but the concept is there.)

Note to self: Find out about Redang, Malaysia.

Mr Centipede

2006-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

"When you first came here and asked to discuss how I approached a problem, I panicked. Because I really don't know. I think it's like asking a centipede which leg comes after which. I have to think a while, try to look back and quote some problems." - Richard P. Feynman

That's one of the conversations that Richard Feynman and Leonard Mlodinow (a fellow physicist as well) had in the book "Feynman's Rainbow". I think he's such a powerful guy. Never short of words to amaze you. If not in vocabulary, the concept more than makes up for it. Aside from all the theories, the book is interesting. If you ever want to cut it short, just read the conversations, which are italised. It's worth a read.

You know, now I do feel like a centipede, thinking back of all the panicky situations which I couldn't answer for. I'm always worried about a lot of things, and sometimes, it just messes up my mind. I'm even worse under peer pressure, but I try to handle it and calm myself. And now is one of the biggest tests in my life. I'm in a position where mental stress is stretched to the limit, and I feel like giving up. It's so demanding, I'll get fucked up down center with one false move. I can't take it anymore. I have no life in me now. I can't mingle with my friends with the same exuberance, fool around like some monkey, or even give my mind a time-off away from work. 7 months seems damn long with the post I'm holding now. I think everyone's noticed, I'm not that Ahmad from before. I can't answer them, and blame myself for bringing down the mood sometimes when I felt that I could offer more. It's damn irritating to think that I'm holding everybody else's rice bowl right now, with shackles on my hands and legs, and no sense of appreciation. Soon, my neck will be shackled too. Damn it. All they ever want is to cover their asses, because very soon, after tt ONE nsf is gone, the camp will soon wither and rot. I'll be waiting for the day you'll be in my shoes.

What's the line between a girlfriend and a girl-friend? Do we have to severe ties with everyone so as to please our girl? I don't know. My friend is having that problem now, and I feel, it's so wrong. It's not easy being in a relationship, especially when friends are involved. It's like deciding between water or air. You'll die eventually without either one. I wonder too, when I look back, whether I was like that when I was in a relationship. Hmmm.

Now, here are more goodies from youtube. Man, that site is really full of whacked things, if you search well enough. Have a look at these.

1.Freaking crazy. I wonder if too much ktv and mtv create this duo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4cQ3BoHFas&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b

2.Why english teachers and oral exams make the difference.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWGiU_etTdc&feature=Favorites&page=2&t=t&f=b

3.Webcams can make celebrities out of you.Take notes from these guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMf40daefsI&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b

4.For all you harry potter fans.Helps if you like john mayer as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmk-o_imGb8&search=john%20mayer

Got more la, but I don't want to be a youtube freak. Go and have a look for yourself. =)

My bed beckons. Nite people.

Pacman Like You've Never Seen It Before

2006-03-17T17:50:00.000+08:00

Haha. This is freaking hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T073-i9zyR4

What the hell. Think I'm going to do this in uni next time. Haha. Damn cute la the costumes. And Pacman actually screams when he's being chased around by ghosts. Guess the video game forgot that feature. =P Here's some other notable Pacman stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uc5Z2ZzzSU&search=pacman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywciRztvCx8&search=pacman

Went for my first physiotherapy at Nee Soon today, with a tinge of guilt and uncertainty. The thing about my camp is, or actually, my boss, he dislikes anything related to medical appointments and off. Mine's a combination of both, as I'm given off for this medical appointment. So there, I'm not sure if that qualified me to the semifinals of his Little Black Book Championship. One thing's for sure, this is one competition I'm not going to want to win. I don't know what to expect from this anymore, as I hate upsetting people. Hence, I can't really face him now. I know I can be a lil over-worried, (an irony there), but I'm just like that. Think I'm gonna set up a table, prepare both of us coffee and tea, and have a little talk with him. If you can't please someone, at least make them understand.

Went to search for my family's Suzuki Liana new generation model, and I chanced upon something interesting.

http://www.suzuki4.co.uk/liana_html/liana_frameset2.html

There's this television series called 'Star In A Reasonably Priced Car' showing on BBC2. Haha. What the. And among the list, guess who drove my car? Simon Cowell. Another 'what the'. I only know of one other celebrity there. Jamie Oliver. Now who said my car's not popular? =P Here's the link to the show. Think it's quite interesting.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/topgear/prog1/enfield.shtml

I want to take this chance to spread a little bit of jazz into your lives. Please have a listen to any of these songs whenever you can. It's really the true jazz, and I'm loving it. I can feel the beat and soul going through me almost entirely. Brings me close to tears. Heh. It's not compulsory, but it's a recommendation.

1.Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by Bobbie Gentry
2.Rags To Riches by Tony Benett
3.Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue by Crystal Gale
4.What A Difference A Day Made by Sarah Vaughan
5.Just A Gigolo I Ain't Got Nobody by Louis Prima (this one's cute)
6.At Last by Lou Rawls and Dianne Reeves
7.Honey Honey by Ray Charles
8.More Than This by Charlie Hunter And Norah Jones (fave)
9.Lets Get Lost by Chet Baker
10.The Goodlife by Bobby Darin (meaningful)
11.It's A Good Day by Peggy Lee (cheery)
12.Fine Brown Frame by Nellie Lutcher
13.Something Happens To Me by Blossom Dearie (sensuous)
14.Can Anyone Explain by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
15.Nice Work If You Can Get It by Ella Fitzgerald
16.A Kiss To Build A Dream On by Louis Armstrong
17.Summertime by Joe Williams
18.Route 66 by Bobby Troup (groovy)
19.I Get A Kick Out Of You by Frank Sinatra
20.Papa Loves Mambo by Perry Como
21.Three Is A Magic Number by Bob Dorough (this is funny)

This is just a small list to introduce you to this genre I love. Jazz is amazing. Most of the singers have unique and wonderful voices. True artistes who are true to their songs. I respect all of them. Hope you will find joy as I have in these songs. =)

Ok, that's it. Anw, sorry lynn for forgetting to come online at 9. Haha. I told you I'm quite forgetful. Shall make ammends for that someday. Hope I answered your survey with valuable effect. Take care. I'm still holding on to that dinner. =)

"Science is what we have learned about how not to fool ourselves."
Richard Feynman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman

A brilliant man. Read up on him.

Musical-ly Wrong

2006-03-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

Wad the. I just don't know what to say about this la. I like the manga and anime, but this! Argh, why oh why?! Read the comments section in that page. They share about the same sentiments. Haha.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bnuNxXLpop4

Contrary

2006-03-15T09:31:00.000+08:00

Was talking to my friend yesterday while I was outfield. He's going to ORD soon, but he's signing on to the army as an officer. I'm glad for him, even though I don't fancy a career in the army. At least being an officer is a saving grace. He's not the slacker kind, to join just because he can become an officer, but more on the fact that he wants to be the best officer there is. He's aiming for Guards Officer. Neat. Haha. All the best dude.

Anw, besides that point, we talked about his new relationship with this girl. It's a difficult situation for him, as both of them are like black and white in terms of background. (Not sure if that applies to the skin colour too. Haha. Ok, kidding. He's an indian btw.) His girl is an arab in origin, and a muslim to boot. My friend is an indian, and a christian. Once he finished stating this fact, I was like, whoa, oh my god. Haha. But no, I'm not against the pairing. It's just that, in the future, they will face a lot of complications, not because of them, but the external pressure that's placed on both individually. Christianity and Islam are very tedious religions. It's strict to the point where the people who marry the person must be of the same religion, or at least, converted to that religion. Both religions also offer differing views of their god, although it has been disputed that in context and content, it's almost the same. So here we have a big match-up between both religions in my friend's relationship. I'm wishing him all the best, and that somehow, they will find an answer to this. I'll be waiting for the answer.

There's an overseas excercise in October. I really want to go. I don't care if it's going to exceed my ORD, which is on 7th November. I just want to go! I'm going to keep pressing my OC to send me. Wish me luck guys.

Anw, take a look at this:
http://www.dipvideos.com/funny_videos/163
This is surely one whacked person. I'm speechless. If you have 11 min to spare, take a look yup.

I remembered the time when me and daena were talking at her house, about how there are very few good female guitarist. (Of course, this conversation after we talked about how good john mayer is.) I've found someone who's about john mayer's standard. Introducing Tristan Prettyman. Ok, don't mind the name, she's still female ok. She's the best fetarist (female guitarist) I've ever seen. Smooth in her vocals and smooth in her guitar at the same time. That's quite a hard thing to achieve, speaking from experience. Her skills are not all about chords and strumming, as is the case with most fetarists, but she handpicks and hammers away as easily as putting on your underwear. (No one can go wrong there.) I'm going to support her and john mayer. They're both my favourite guitarists right now. I'm leaving out the other guitarists I like right now, but I'll make a session on that for another day. In the meantime, visit her sites.

http://www.tristanprettyman.com/home.php
http://www.myspace.com/tristanprettyman

It's 10 am here right now. So rare to be home on a weekday morning. I love it! But I've got to go soon. Still must report back to camp by 1. I'll just admire the morning right now. =) Bye.

Chores

2006-03-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

Chores. A word so sacred, it's banned from my house. It's something I've forsaken since long ago, and it still is at present. It doesn't seem to be able to cling to my head, but would somebody, oh somebody, please whack the word inside my head right now!! Argh!! My room is rather messy. I have to clean up soon. As a man, I have to take that step forward to set things right, so that the rulers of the house will be pleased by my actions, preventing storms and ritual sacrifices from happening. It's been pretty peaceful still, but I know, guilt just hangs on to me for its dear life every single day. I know my mum doesn't like the way my room is now, but I've been a sloth. I only clean my room when I feel like it, and let me tell you, that's a rare side of ahmad you'll ever see. Alas, now that I've written it, my butt is itching to set off and let me do my part of the chores. I'm almost 20. This shouldn't be the way I should live. Must train for my future wife!! Bless me on my arduous challenge. This will be my biggest ordeal yet.

PS: If I do not make it back alive, go to malaysia, buy a coney dog, and bury it in my grave.

Ok, I'm off. Better start cleaning up now and get the habit started, just like the way I restarted my habit of blogging. Let me admit one more crime of being a sloth at uploading pictures. Sorry dudes and babes, I'm too lazy to do that these days. Forgive me. In the mean time, enjoy this clip from youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IDp76kjPw

State Of Fear

2006-03-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was one of the most freakish weather experiences in my whole 19 years in Singapore. I don't know about the other parts of the island, but Hougang was in a terrible state. The wind was so strong, metal frame boards were blown down with ease. I know, I was there. One just slammed down right beside me, and another unfortunate victim was hit by another one when I glanced back. Shelters looked useless as the rain poured in sideways, leaving no one spared from its wrath. So I thought, ok, that was one coincidence. So I walked through the NEL MRT underpass to go to the bus interchange, feeling the daft cold from the combination of my drenced clothes and air-con along the way. Emerging from there, I walked on, and right in front of me, before my very eyes, there was this tree that just broke and fell. It's a good thing no one was near it. It wasn't a skinny tree, it was rather big, so you can imagine the raw power of the wind. I walked on, focusing my mind with one goal: To get home. Nothing else mattered. (Except maybe for my Fina guitar which I brought that day. Heh.) Freaky day.

Well, aside from the stormy weather, that only took place at around 6. Before that, I was at Sentosa with xr, siting, kexin, yiping and puayhoon. Puay organised a beach volleyball outing. I originally saw a list of 11 people coming, and by word of mouth, I heard it could reach to more than 15. But hah, it was only 6 of in the end. Nevermind the numbers. I thought it was still fun at the end of the day. Yiping brought her volleyball. Everyone was told to meet at 8. I came there at 8.10, and I was scolding myself for being late. Surprise surprise, I am the first. THE FIRST!! Haha. Haiz, sad. I was tired the previous day and wished for more sleep. So yeah, to know that I'm late and first to reach, it's not a good achievement. Everyone reached at around 9. No matter, I was playing Something's Missing at the food court upstairs. (Ok la kexin, it's called Food Court, not Kopitiam. Sorry for the mistake.) I called it kopitiam, and because of tt, puay and kexin went to another place to find me. Haha. Fine, my bad.

With everyone gathered, we headed for Sentosa, Palawan Beach. (Correct spelling in malay is Pahlawan. I wonder why they never corrected that.) The beach sand was bloody hot, and coarse. After playing for 30 minutes, my sole was naked. It was quite painful, so I wore sandals to play. Other than that, I had no complaints. We are not pros, so the ball flew everywhere except into the court most of the time. Heh. There was a FHM photo shoot going on at that time, so I didn't mind picking up the ball when it headed their direction. Hohoho. Siting and xr were very cute. They did some funny dance, incuding the Singapore Workout. If they had it their way, it'd be the next big thing in clubs. At the end of the game, we had our own photoshoot, with FHM being our motivation. Haha. Not much of a success, yet not much of a failure. They still look cute though. =) At at Sakae Sushi, then headed home. (PS: Sakae sucks big time. And does Sakae means frog in japanese? Anyone can answer that?)

Friday, March 10, went to celebrate jolene's birthday, which was on March 8. Can't believe we're all hitting 20 this year. Mine's coming soon. Man, gonna miss the days in the tens. Anw, went to The Balcony at The Heerens to celebrate. I would say that the place is kind of cool. We didn't get to sit at the 2nd level, which looked awesome from outside. If we did get the chance that night, I think it would have been better. Drank lotsa different drinks. I drank the Cosmopolitan, which was presented in a rather cool manner. Eileen: Some Mint Choc thingy. Jolene: Alcohol in the form of antibiotics. Really, it's like antibiotics. Xr: Alcohol with citrus flavour I think. Siting: Lime alcohol. Ok, I don't remember the names of the drink, but that's the gist of it. Eileen has quite a low tolerance to alcohol, so she was all red-faced and had bloodshot eyes after half a cup. She kept saying, "Can't believe I'm so lousy." Haha. Cute. Noticed she wore braces. Said that she had it on for three weeks on. Continue to smile yup. I don't find anything wrong on smiling with braces. Chatted till 1230. Bought a Swatch watch as a gift for her, and it looked classy. They said they were preparing her for the corporate world since her poly life has come to a stop, so she must wear that when she works. Heh heh. (You better wear it!!!) Happy birthday jolene fu li shan.. You've always been a wonderful friend, and a funny one at it too. All the best!

Went out with weilien today. Ate at Ajisen Ramen. I've been craving for ramen .I really love ramen now. It's really nice! Tried the Black Pepper Beef Ramen. Awesome stuff. You guys should try it. Get Tori Katsu Ramen as well. It's pufferfish, but it tastes awesome. I'll be back there more often. Will definitely try all the nice ones and recommend. After the replenishment, went on to Kino to get xr her comic, and then to Swee Lee to get my guitar cable. (All I need is an amplifier now. Haha.) I feel kind of pathetic. I have the cable, but no amplifier. In case you're wondering why I only bought the cable, it's for my guitar tuner. I find tuning to be a breeze when I plug in the cable to both guitar and tuner. Wasn't sure if I bought the right one, but I just tried it and it works fine. So yeah, cool. Helped siting buy her Primary 1 test papers at the same time. Rendezvoused with her at taka, then set off in our separate ways. Spent the rest of the time talking in Coffee Bean, with a Vanilla Ice Blended (Caffeinated) by our side. Not bad.

Saw kaixin on the way back. She still looks as cute and perky as ever. Will catch up to you soon.

Been a really busy and fun week. Back to work tomorrow. Oh how I wish for ORD to come soon. Civilian life is really awesome. Heh.

Oh, john mayer's Stop This Train is uber awesome. Check it out here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HwevhhNZnI&search=stop%20this%20train
(It's on his next album, Continuum. Please come soon too!)

Stop This Train by John Mayer

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
Just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
Cant take the speed it's movin in
I know I cant
But honestly wont someone
Stop this train

Don't know how else to say it
Don't wanna see my parents go
One generations left for me
Findin life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go homeagain
Can't take the speed it's movin in
I know I cant
But honestly wont someone
Stop this train

So green at gettin older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
I find a way to say that
Life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said since 68
You renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't fall in bed and lose the place youre in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly
We'll never stop this train

Once in awhile
When it's good
It will feel like it should
And they're all
Still around
And you're still safe and sound
And they don't miss a thing
So you cry as you're driving
Away in the dark
Just singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go homeagain
Cant take the speed it's movin in
I know I cant
Cos now I see
I'll never stop this train

On Rice Bowls

2006-03-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

You know, this may not be totally concerning only NSFs or Army, but I'm relating it to those right now. I've heard regulars speak about filling their rice bowls, on how much their work means to them. By rice bowls, it refers to the money raked in every month. We, the working people, work for our rice bowls, to ensure that night by night, it is not empty, that our stomachs remain arched, and the word starvation cease to exist. Unfortunately, are NSFs filling up their rice bowls?

It just doesn't seem fair to me. Sure, we get enlisted because we must protect our country, to provide that deterrence of attacks from foreign powers. We get together, no matter the religion or race in which each of us uniquely originate from, and harmonise as one. There may be a few racist jokes about here and there, but I've seen it in good fun and in the open. But, now ladies and gentlemen, the work that we are untrusted with, THAT doesn't seem to come with a good consolation to comfort our way of thinking. We get pushed around, placed with more responsibility and workload than we actually should have, and still get stepped on like we're insignificant little ants. I'm not saying everyone's like this in there, because. It's just, let me put it this way, MOST! If I were to describe their rice bowls, it'd be mountainous, because our rice are on theirs. Our pay is really not up to the actual value in the real working world. We are definitely worth much more than what we are being given now. It is definitely not a good impression that's left on me. More than a year has passed, and this is what's pressed on me. Sure, people might say I should give suggestions so that they can improve. I say no to that. Go ahead and try to think of it yourself. I'm sure that through the years of golden experience, you have something to say about it all. Yet, ironically, where'd all the good suggestions come from? Hmmm, ponder about that people.

I can only console myself with the fact that there's 8 months left. Hmm, let me make it sound better. 7 months, and 20-something days. Heh. Ok, enough with the rant. Time to say goodbye.

Hynotizing Music

2006-02-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but Gwen Stefani's "Luxurious" gives me that hypnotic feeling everytime I listen to it. I'm not sure why, but I am quite enticed by that kind of background music. Maybe because I used to listen to those old school hip hop, where sounds like this was common, that it strikes a heavy influence in my heart. It moves me somehow. People may say that the song may not be good, but I don't know, I'm too hypnotized by it. Heh heh. I think that any girl that confesses to me with this song will surely win me over, like a cobra to a flute.

Oh, and the funny thing is, I mistook Gwen Stefani with Gloria Estefan. I don't even know why I even know the name Gloria Estefan. I mean, seriously, it's freaking me out, because I don't recall anything at all about even thinking about Gloria Estefan. Must be a hidden memory or something. I shall investigate.

Oh, dinner is really nice today. Haha. I await more interesting stories. (^^,)

Over and out. I have to be prepared for Adam Khoo's workshop tomorrow. 2 days of those "Improve your self esteem by placing your money in us" workshop. I mean, seriously, why, oh why, did the army have to prolong my misery!! Haha. Haiz, well, days away from work seem to be worth this extra misery. What's a more terrible word than misery? Please tell me so I can describe how I feel at work now.

Digging The Past (Part 1) - Exo-Squad

2006-02-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

Exo-Squad was one of my favourite TV series when I was young. It broadcasted from 1993 to 1995, spanning 2 seasons. I didn't get to watch it till the end, but, it was definitely good, I could tell. I got stuck to the TV like glue because of them, and I even collected their toys. Alas, the toys got destroyed by my cousins. I don't know where they are now, and that breaks my heart. Those were classic, good toys. I would always make that "woosh woosh" and "pyong pyong" noises, depicting a battle between good and bad. Those were the days when imagination ran wild, and you wouldn't care about being opinionated. I lived in Boon Lay back then. Just me, the toys, and my little room. How I miss those times.

I can't remember the whole storyline, but I knew it was a battle between aliens and humans. Both parties have Exo-Frames, suits that they get into, with a whole array of cool weapons and powers. It's a winning combination for any boy at my age back then. I remember the awe I felt from just looking at them, imagining if I'll ever get a suit that cool. (Hopefully, I can build a suit of my own when I'm rich enough. Heh.) Anw, war wages, and plots unfold, yadda yadda yadda. I shall read about it all over again. It's bringing smiles to my face, just remeniscing those moments. For now, just take a look at the toys I used to have (note: USED TO HAVE).

Cheers to a great cartoon of my time. Missing you.

Late

2006-02-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

I've been returning my rented VideoEZY dvds late like crazy. I think I'm getting a gold olympic medal soon for it. Haiz. Just remembered today that I still have yet to return my dvd. It's Saving Private Ryan. The worst part of it all? I haven't even watched it yet! What a loser. You must be thinking that. Argh! Just what the hell have I been doing these days?! I don't know, but I'm starting to hate the computer more nowadays. No, it's not the performance. It's just that, I seem to make it a daily routine to touch the computer. Knowing me, I tend to do things by reflex. Like sometimes, I just barge out of my room and straight into the kitchen several times to find food or drinks. But the thing is, I'm not hungry or thirsty. So in the end, I'll just stand there like a fool, and think to myself: Huh?

Reflex actions are not bad actually. It makes life so much easier, because you're so familiar with what you want to do that it seems almost effortless. But hmmm, if there's too much of it, you'll get me. Here's a list of reflex actions that I, Mr Ahmad, somehow happen to notice:

1. When I go into the bathroom, I take out my shirt. (Point is, I'm not even intending to bathe. What the hell la Ahmad.)
2. My hands will always look for the light switches unknowingly, everywhere I go in my house. (I like to save energy, so I spend lots of energy flicking switches on and off. Think I'm growing some amazing powers here.)
3. I'll tap 4/5 areas to check my belongings quite regularly, mainly for my wallet, keys, handphone, watch and a bracelet. (Hey, I've lost too many things already, and almost lost the most important things. It's a good reflex ok! Although a little scary when you feel that one of the things are not there. Brrr.)
4. In town, sometimes I tend to get to the wrong place because of the usual routes I take. My body will just drift away on its own. (Hmmm, maybe that's why I get those deja vu feelings sometime?)

Well, that's about all I can remember right now. But yeah, there have been rather funny times. I just can't recall. Oh well, that will have to do. Note to self: RETURN THAT DAMN DVD! Argh! Imagine all that money I could have saved from the overdue fines.

There's something I'd like to ask here. Do I look approachable? It seems like, I attract quite a lot of people. And by people, I mean, strangers. Utterly complete strangers. There was once I was walking towards the traffic light to cross over to the bus stop near my house, and suddenly, this car stopped in front of me. I thought: Oh gosh, I'm going to get kidnapped today. But no, the woman in the passenger seat said, "Boy ah. Do you know how to get to Hougang Mall?" I mean, how often does a car stop beside you to ask these questions? (And a simplistic one too.) And in another separate event, I was approached by this army fellow who knew nothing about MMSing, or about handphones for that matter. So I had to teach him for like minutes, explaining to him about Bluetooth, Infra-Red, GPRS, GPRS Plans, yadda yadda. And I wasn't really the only person in the bus, so hmm, yet another coincidence. There have been a lot of times too when I gave people directions in town or near my home. There were two ladies who asked me to take photographs for them. There was this street promoter who wanted to sell me perfume and we got into a heated debate when she called me an NCC boy, and we exchanged numbers. There were these teenage girls who, of all people, asked me to take pictures for them, and I was with another girl, and they were like "Oh-oh, are we disturbing" kind of reaction. (I think they were trying to hook me up. Haha. Cute.) Argh, there's a lot la. I'm okay with helping, by all means, ask me. It's just that, I always thought I looked very "GWAR!". It's funny to think they'd approach me. Heh. Oh well, it's just a thought. Think I'm going to ask all my friends this question, although I'm quite sure I'll get shitty replies. =)

I've been rather confused lately. I wish I had someone I can talk to right now about it. (Cue: Daena!!!) Lol. Haiz, you nut. I really want to talk to you. I'm having duty this saturday, and will be back sunday morning. Hope to see you, really do. I have certain issues to raise, and I think you'll have a good time about it. (Note: Good can be an omen.) I don't even know why I'm blogging about it here. See, this is the extent of my confusion. Hyah.

Faces

2006-02-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

It's something which I don't really express by much, maybe because, I'm too pre-occupied with thoughts in my mind to make faces. Most of my friends see me as being quite a sad/moody guy. I'm not too sure, but sometimes, I get a tad irritated by that comment. (Well, you can't expect me to smile 24/7 do ya??) Yes, I may be tired, but I'm not a Droopy kind of guy, I assure you. When I look at myself in the mirror, yeah, I understand why some people see me as a sad guy. I don't blame you, people! =P But you know, I can let you in on a little secret. I am sad at times, thinking of the past, so if you catch me at that time, buy 4D, because it doesn't happen by much. But I try not to show it. I don't like to share this feeling to anyone, because my burdens are mine alone. So I always laugh, because laughter always brings out the natural smile in anyone. I make cold jokes, as well as real jokes, to bring out that smile in me. It's not fake, but I've found, through tedious research, that I SUCK AT SMILING. Yes friends, I do feel that way. I can't guarantee anything nice, but as requested, I'll smile much more these days okay. Bear with me.

Speaking of faces, I'm starting to notice people more, new and old. It's not like I don't know what faces are shown when people are sad, happy, angry, blablabla, but, I like seeing my friends' expressions. Some of them are just so cute, it makes them rather appealing. (Ahem, this theory mostly applies to the ladies.) I didn't notice it before, but hah, I really do have the cutest friends alive. Heh heh. Such a compliment, and most of them won't be able to know it beacuse of this blog. Kekeke. But that's alright. It's just what I feel like writing, the thoughts in my mind. It doesn't have to be spread to them. (And if you do find out about this somehow, don't hao lian.) It's always great to discover something new about friends. It can amaze you, and it can startle you, but it's always good to know. Let's hang out more, so I can see more of those faces. (Maybe take a pic or two too.)

I took an age test, and they told me I was 21. Heh heh. I'm nearing 20, yet, I have a higher maturity in thought. Lol. Well, not like I really believe it, but it doesn't kill to play along. Here's what it means.

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Taken from: http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

Was browsing through the net, and I found a rather interesting picture. If only it was true, that's be so cool!

It's like a life-size gundam robot man! WTF! Doesn't it make you feel like this picture was taken inside some super secret military base in Japan, whereby the photographer is a super spy, risking his life just to publish this amazing super incredible secret project! It made me kind of excited eyeing this picture. Alas, it can't be true. I guess it may be for some Cosplay even of something. But hey, it made my day. =)

I regretted saying the wrong word this week. "Irritating". I'm sorry, this is really not the word I wanted to express, but you know, at that time, I was really feeling quite irritated. But if you know me well, deep inside, that's not what I wanted to say. If I were to rephrase what I said that night, it's "Disappointing" and "Pending". I can't deny that it was of pure feelings in the past, but with time, it's been a rather complicated journey to where I am now. This is for you, who can understand what I'm writing about. Please don't take me in the wrong light. I'd definitely like to talk it out more next time. It's something that you guys deserve to know.

Ok, that ends my day. I've got a route march tomorrow. Lights out.

Song of the day: More Than This by Norah Jones featuring Charlie Hunter

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they´re blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

More than this
There is nothing
Oh more than this
You tell me one thing
More than this
You know there's nothing

It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like a dream in the night
Who can say where we´re going
No care in the world
And maybe I´m learning
Why the sea on the tide
It has no way of turning

More than this
You know there is nothing
Oh more than this
You tell me one thing
More than this
There is nothing
Nothing

More than this
You know there is nothing
Much more than this
You tell me one thing
More than this
There is nothing
More than

The Pace I'm In

2006-02-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

I can almost feel myself. That self-awareness that is often neglected or not realized. What is it that I can say that defines me. What is an Ahmad Iskandar who's from Singapore and lives in Hougang? How can I describe myself? Often, we take for granted that we always spend more time learning about others than ourselves. Well, enough neglection. The time for me is now. =)

Well, it's not like I'm desperate to know who I am. I've been living for almost 20 years now, and it's just conscience which plays on you. There are just days when you realise something and say, "Oh!", in conjunction to a realisation of something simple yet pleasing to know. Haven't you had those days before? I'm sure everyone has. I can't remember what my moments of that kind are, but I sure remembered feeling very stupid after that. Lol.

Hmmm, this is not really a profile about myself. More like, what I've learnt about myself.

I'm the kind of guy who loves to pace from place to place in a very "walk-down-the-aisle-cos-i'm-getting-married" speed. I don't like to rush for just about anything, unless I feel it's needed. I am the sort to go the extra mile to do things that won't trouble people, even if it tires me more and frustrates me in the end. I hardly question people's intentions for just about anything, unless it's so obvious that it needs to be question. I'm always taking the hard route unknowingly, but I won't regret taking it. I am always aware of time, and believes that everything runs in certain timings. I worry a lot, but for a good cause, and because I really care. I am shy, but I try to stand up for myself and try new things and say remarks that may not be entirely acceptable by the majority. And I'm very clueless on a lot of things, but I take extra effort in catching up by listening and picking up from there through self research and experience. I'm level-headed on a lot of things, and rarely bursts out in anger, and even if I do, it's justifiable. I live to entertain people by being the fool, but I'm in fact serious in nature, and only expresses that when the situation arises of if I feel that there's something wrong. I'm very willing, but I've learnt that sometimes, it's not really a good thing. I like to be appreciated for the things I do, but I don't show it. And I love talking to people. *it goes on*

Well, that's just a shitload of information there, but you know, it's for myself. The list goes on, and as long as I know this is what I am like, I'm pretty satisfied I've been doing it naturally. I hope conscience of myself does not become a weapon of restriction instead, because it's useless to think of natural things. For me, thinking about how I breathe is VERY stressful. Better let it flow naturally.

So now, I can pay better attention to you, my friends. You can always count on me, to know everything about you, to realise your little habits and actions, and to feel the person you really are inside. And I shall be able to make that list of you, that is unique only to yourself. I've been doing that all this while anyway. Heh. Take care guys.

Dangers

2006-01-31T11:15:00.000+08:00

Just went out with the Zelvarians yesterday night. As always, since it's been a rarity meeting up with them, I just can't help but make extra time for them. I can't help it. No matter how long I don't see them, they're still a special bunch. =) It seems to be kenneth's birthday, so cheers dude. Anyway, darren went to pick me up in his uncle's Nissan Sunny. Seems like he just got his license 2 weeks ago. So cool! I'm envious. But anyway, it was a bad day for him. I did feel he was driving a bit recklessly, but still, not enough to cause a major accident. Nevertheless, shit happened. He crashed both his side lights in two separate events. I was with him on the second one. Ok, it was not serious, but he was really feeling like he's in a deep shithole. Seriously, never seen him so depressed before. I understand that, yeah, it's a car, and that cannot be taken lightly, so if it happens, learn from it. Lucky it was just the sidelights. Imagine it was a major crash, that would have been something terrible. All the best dude in facing the music. Hope you come out fine. And I'm sure you will too.

You know, this really gave me a realisation that I'm responsible for the lives of people I give rides to. I will drive you guys safely, that's a promise. Besides, since I'm your chauffeur, I should be professional about it right? Well, till that time comes, you know you just have to keep wishing for me to pass that practical test!

Hmmm, St. Valentine's day is coming. I was just wondering about the story behind it. This is what I found. (There seems to be several different explanations to it.)

"One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death."

"According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France."

http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/valentine/?page=history

Basically, it's from this site, but I felt that these two were more significant, but not necessarily true. Majority of humans will always choose the more scintillating story to lie to themselves that everything in life is just plain good. I'm not saying that life is bad, but sometimes, you have to taste the bitter side of things and accept it. I'm not a historian, so I don't know truth from fiction here, but you know, I can only hope that people of the past are presenting to us the right things of the past.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I can only wish for a happy relationship like this one. I LOVE Sakura Kinoshita of Cardcaptor Sakura for damn long sia. I think she's the perfect kind of girl for me. Haha. Well, in manga terms anyway.

Look at that. Aren't they adorable? Cheers to the greatest couple in manga, Sakura and Ahmad. =) (Ooops. I mean Syaoran.)

There's a thin line between fiction and reality. Sure, we can make reality out of fiction, and fiction out of reality, as showcased in Dan Brown's books. Half-fiction, half factual. That's the best kind of book you can read. Michael Crichton's books are good in that sense too. (I highly recommend it.) Anyway, before I get way out of point, some manga readers cling to the lifestyle in the manga too closely. But nevertheless, when they act it out in reality, it is rather cute. Take a look at this photo.

I think this is hilarious. I can imagine this happening in a manga. So cute. Lol. I'd sure like to see this happening in life, either because of clumsiness or the wahpiangwadthehellisthistut feeling.

Daena, got your file ready. I'm going to try the yousendit thing. Hope it works. Sorry I left in such a hurry. We'll catch up soon yup. Take care.

Advanced Through

2006-01-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hohoho. I'm pretty happy right now. Just passed my Final Theory Test (FTT) yesterday. Woot. I must say, it was kind of tough. I take back my words of saying that it was easy. The questions are quite slick, always trying to deceive you to choose a deceptively right wrong answer. And since you're only given a maximum of 5 wrong answers, every question does count. Nevertheless, I really worked for it, and flashed a smile when I saw the "PASSED" come out on the screen. YEAH!!! Driving license, here I come. Better be at top form. =)

Was just watching the Roger Federer/Nikolay Davydenko match just now. That was one of the most heart-thumping tennis matches I've seen. It's complete with wonderful winner shots, frustrating unforced errors, and raw spirit from both sides of the court. I'd say Federer is not on his top form just now. He just didn't exhibit that same skillfulness I saw last year. Nevertheless, he is extremely good. No doubts about that. Keep going man!

I've been thinking about mirrors nowadays, and what I percept it to be. I always used to think that mirrors were the gates to another world, an alternate dimension. The image of yourself and your environment in it is all an illusion, a defence that prevents us from transversing through. When I was a kid, I'd test this guardian (which is the "me" there) by observing every movement he does, and try to spot a mistake. Alas, you know how futile that is. Haha. I still do it once in a while. That child in me still refuses to give up. Wonder what lies on the other side. =)

Today, we have been slaughtered by, get this, "The Angel Of Death". It's a nickname my platoon gave to an instructor when I was a trainee in OETI. When he speaks, oh my, I just feel like dying. I don't know if it's because of the monotonous tone, or the sianjupua face, but he really drives me to sleep. It's hard, really hard, to open our eyes. As one friend said, "It's like he's sucking out our soul." He is indeed, The Angel Of Death. Today was the first day. I still have 2 weeks with him. Someone please save me! -_-

Just got back with my wife today. The new action feels awesome! Feels like an electric if you ask me. I play even better now, but it's still a long road ahead. I really want to perform, so I must work hard, really hard, to improve my skills. Cost me 120 bucks though. I really should save up more soon, but someone's birthday is coming soon. Someone so humble that she wrote a journal of things she'd like on her birthday. Haha. Well, it helps though. I admire the fact that she's open to it and is not too secretive on what she wants. I'll try to meet her demands. There goes another expensive month. Not that I mind though. "True friends stick together". ;) All the best True Friend #4. (Forgot what number le.)

Oh, a toast to Kobe Bryant on scoring 81 points single-handedly in his recent game against Toronto Raptors. That must have been one hell of a night.

Someone, Get His Pulse!

2006-01-22T18:05:00.000+08:00

I just went through a moment of excruciating pain today, physical pain to be precise. Gee, what the hell, &^%^&$&$, that's what I wanted to scream out till even the eskimos can hear me from the equatorial island of Singapore. What a terrible moment, something I had to bear for minutes, but felt like it lasted hours. Well, months actually. This problem has been plaguing me for quite some months already, except that it only recently activated itself to torture me in endless pain. It's a good thing that it's over, but hell, I don't think this will the last I'll feel it. Something tells me it'll be back, even stronger than this one. I'll be ready for you, evil one. I'll be damn sure to be ready. Till then, RIP.

Ha. Went to return two DVDs today at sgoon gardens (Sound Of Music and Swordfish), courtesy of VideoEZY, which probably is gonna be one of the places in Singapore I'll visit in high frequency. I love it there, and though not many people may be able to appreciate such a place, I feel it's some place I'll look forward to in working with. Movies, air-con, a bit of snacks and drinks, and a chair. Heaven. Hmm, only time will tell.

Support VideoEZY guys. Haha.

Speaking of work, there's a few places I've been considering working for after my NSF days are over. HMV (imagine all the dvds and cds I can buy at lowered prices), Swee Lee (if they even have a job vacancy. any guitar shop would do actually. haha), Fish & Co (cos I really like their polo tees), and event companies (i think they're pretty fun). Not that I can join that many at one time, but I'll move from time to time. I may settle in at HMV. Till I find more interesting places to work, these are my top choices.

Met et at her workplace. The tiramisu's not bad, but I can't say the same for the "Rum & Raisins". Didn't really like it, or maybe it's because I've never tasted something like it before. Gonna try more flavours next week. It's been hot lately. Ice-cream really helps. Gelato to be more precise.

"Gelato is an Italian frozen dessert made from milk (or also soy milk) and sugar, combined with other flavourings. The gelato ingredients (after an optional pasteurisation) are super-cooled while stirring to break up ice crystals as they form. Like high end ice cream, gelato generally has less than 35% air - resulting in a dense and extremely flavorful product.

Gelato has become a generic Italian word for ice cream, though true gelato contains no cream. The same word is commonly used in English speaking countries to refer to "ice cream" that is prepared in the Italian way."

Taken from Wikipedia. Wikipedia is quite an awesome site. It has information on just about anything. I would say that all its historical, scientific and even comic details are pretty accurate. Heck, you can even find the full details of the X-Men or Spiderman sagas there, in vivid detail. Definitely a site worth seeing. (Psst: Even Felicia Chin's in it. Haha. Don't go bonkers now guys.) Thanks again et. Thought I could at least chat with you, but you seem rather occupied. Oh well, next time. \(^^,)/

I met lynn today too. Guess how? She was the girl behind the counter of VideoEZY. Of all places to meet, it had to be there. Haha. It was a gleeful moment. I like meeting people unexpectedly like this. You'd talk for a while, laugh a little here and there, and catch up from the time you last met, all that in a short moment. It may not be informative down to the last detail, but at least you know, we're all connected somehow. It's good to know she's doing ok and looking good. Hope to see her in future again. Take care.

You know, I'm pretty sure there are people I don't know of who's reading all this. Usually, I'll only invite those I know to read this blog. It's nothing too personal, but yeah, if you're even human, you should respect what I'm asking of you. I never liked to peep into other people's lives without them being aware of it, and I'd never probe into anything unless they wish to open up to me themselves. It's because I respect that everyone has their own problems, their own special memories they'd rather keep to themselves. What's the use of going to a party you're not invited to. The end result would not be fulfilling, I'll tell you that. I'm just saying this, to anybody and nobody. The choice is yours to make. Only you would know if you should be here.

Ok, it ends here. I bit adieu. Take care peeps.

The Aftermath

2006-01-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

First of all, I'd like to say happy birthday to mum, who turns 44 this year. Thanks for being such a dear mum, always being there for her son whenever he needs her. 44 is such a small number compared to the things you've done for me.

Ok, where shall I start? This is what I hate about breaks in blogging. It all piles up, and I have to write a long entry in the end. And sometimes, I forget all those good ideas in my temple too. Oh well, it happens. I'm not a geek who's feeding on computers every day anw. =) I'll try to make it short and sweet.

Let's see. Yesterday, went to west coast park to have a cohesion day. It's actually not for our BM course ppl, but somehow, we got in. Not that I mind. A day away from work really means a lot. Anw, west coast park is more beautiful than I had ever imagined. It's not like I saw the whole place, but the Macs was zen. There was a pond, trees around, and the morning ambience is amazing. If I ever needed a place to study, this would be it. Maybe when NTU comes along, this shall be my 2nd base of operations. The playgrounds there are damn big too. Adults are invited. Haha. Next time, I shall hold my bbq here. Looks rather fun. Y(^^,)

It looks like a chalet here. Taken from the Macs I was talking about.

My BM course people.

Went to "upgrade" my wife today. Lowering the action so that I can have a better time handling and pressing her neck. Quite glad that the guy-in-charge said she had not much of a problem, but it's gonna cost me 120 bucks. It's ok. I think it's a good investment to let him do his stuff on her body. A week of separation, so guess I have to busy myself with other things. I shall miss those slender curves, the smooth nect, the flowery tatoo of yours, your crisp brown texture. Argh, what shall I keep my hands on now?!?! Oh well, come back soon, my Fina guitar. =>

Tiramisu at Sketcher's tastes great. Can't say much about their main courses yet. Been there only twice. Shall experiment more on their menu in times to come. Here's a pic of their food mat, and an unfair pitcher of coke that costs 9 bucks. (They said 2 glasses of coke costs 8 bucks! What the..)

It's strange, how good it feels, to talk to someone who's so similar, so special, so rare in presence. Even in the long pause of anger, disappointment, happiness, eager anticipation, thoughts and memories, all that is put aside when both meet. So much to express, and yet so much to hold back. Did I truly express my heartfelt self, or was I behind a mask of insecurity and fear? Was I right in not saying the things I've longed to say for the better or worse? I do not know. All I know is, I love to talk to this person. No matter what, such a person is hardly ever replaced, and if ever, with great difficulty. It hurts as much as it relieves much joy in me. All I want right now, is to provide as many happy moments and wishes as I can. It may not be a ditto situation for me, but as long as I know what I want, I'm content, that I've met such a special person. Thank you, from the depths.

Full Metal Jacket

2006-01-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

Just watched Full Metal Jacket today. Oh my, it's really a stupendous movie. Basically, it shows two parts. BMT and war. It sounds simple, but it actually means a lot to a NSF like me. I can somehow relate to it so closely, it scares me as well as the privates in the movie when Gunnery Sergeant Hartman mocks the shit out of everyone. It was that effective! Here's a brief idea of what the movie is about. (Took this from www.imdb.com) Be sure to read the quotes from this excellent website about this movie. Mockery has never been so powerful. =)

"A two-segment story that follows young men from the start of recruit training in the Marine Corps to the lethal cauldron known as Vietnam. The first segment follows Joker (Modine), Pyle (D'Onofrio) and others as they progress through the hell of USMC boot-camp at the hands of the colorful, foul-mouthed Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (Ermey). The second begins in Vietnam, near Hue, at the time of the Tet Offensive. Joker, along with Animal Mother (Baldwin), Rafterman (Howard) and others, face threats such as ambush, booby traps, and Viet Cong snipers as they move through the city."

Attend hut! *salutes* "This is my rifle and this is my gun!"

This has only been my second war movie that I've ever watched in my life, the first being Schindler's List. (Ok, so it's not exactly a full-fledged war movie.) An excellent movie I must say. Moved me to tears. Now I know why war movies really bring in the bucks. Because it's both human and inhuman to watch, a winning combination. War is evil, but there's something about it that bonds humans together, on any side of the battlefield. The blood and bodies from the movie reminds us how war never brings a happy ending no matter who wins. There should never wars. And there should never be people who use war as his/her shield to unhumane acts, because these are the very people who start one. Alas, humans are unpredictable and uncontrollable.

You know, I've been thinking for a while now. I'm almost 20. It's such an audacious number. I think it's time I change my attitude towards things and people. Nono, not that I've been some rebellious Dennis the Menace, but, I find myself to be quite the childish one. I think I've been entertaining people so much like that, that I've not been thinking seriously. I'm slowly progressing out of it. It's about time. The real me shall emerge soon. But for now, I shall enjoy my youth. (^^,) (Dun pray pray ok! I'll always be young at heart.)

Temptation

2006-01-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

Temptation changes people. I believe in temptation being a cruel form of mental torture. Should I? Should I not? Why should I? Why I should not? Questions keep on rolling to encourage and discourage you to do something, up to the point where you're not even sure what you're thinking of in the first place. You lose track of your intentions, you lose yourself. That's when anything and anyone can change you to something you're not.

I support change, but please, be wise in the direction in which you take. Stay true, to yourself, and nothing else, because being a follower means having no other direction to go other than that of his/her masters. Please, stay true.

Went on a long walk in town today with a fren. An extremely long one at that, with a few pit stops to eat. =) Collected my Nokia 7610 from the Nokia Center at Wheelock, after a 1 month absence. Wad happened? Let's cut it short. It got crushed by a double decker SBS Bus Service 99 outside the bus stop of The Chevrons near Jurong. Haha. I must be the only idiot with something like that happening. Shall not elaborate. (^^,)

Went shopping all around town. Bought windows, windows, and more windows. Phew, that is surely one expensive shopping experience. ;) Lots of guitarists in town today. Think it's because of the Superband going around at Youth Park today. I'd never join something like this. I mean, Superband. Sounds a bit tut. Imagine you win it and like, people call your band Superband. Sounds like they're guys who wear their undies on the outside. Clark Kent would have been so proud! *sobs*

Oh, I met Hsing Chieh and Xin Yu today on my way back from the driving centre. Cheers to the gorgeous ladies, who still look great mind you. ^^ (Don't worry, I'm just complimenting.) Think they're applying for some test. Not sure if they're newbies, but all the best ladies.

Speaking of driving, I'm about finished with mine. Tomorrow's my last lesson. And 24th this months is my FTT. After that, all that's left is the TP. Please, let me run this final lap with all I can. Ok, not in the mood to put in pictures this time, so, hope this entry is not too boring to the eyes. Cya.

Birthdays

2006-01-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

Everyone wants to be remembered on their birthdays. I mean, it is their special day after all, a commemoration of that exact same day, but not date, they were born in. Early, on time, or belated, a simple message will definitely elate that person with a simple smile. (Of course, presents make those smiles even wider.) So lately, I've not been able to do that. Maybe I'm too occupied by my daily life, and isolation from most of friends, that it makes me forget completely. I'm sorry that my greetings are always late guys. As an apology, please bish my head if u see me on the streets. =)

Speaking of birthdays, it reminded me of kexin's one. I just managed to get this picture, courtesy of lixiang. Yay.

This was taken after her birthday, when we were on the way home. Haha. I'm paying for all that stuff on that counter. It's just so stupid, but I like this shot. It reminds me of how I'm free to express any idea, be it sane or insane, without worries. I like stupid things. I don't need to explain the term "stupid" in here. Heh.

I'm getting less and less enthusiastic about getting people birthday gifts now. Nevertheless, I try to do it. So since it's the new year, and you see this blog, I wanna make this short.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2006 TO EVERYONE!

Ok, done. No need to worry about presents, cards, smses, bla bla bla oredi le. Yay!

K, tired now. Played DOTA till 4 am yesterday. Fun. Ciao.

Sleeping Remedy

2006-01-09T20:59:00.000+08:00

Here's an advertisement brought to you by Mad Inc.:

"Yes! For folks who find themselves rolling in bed night after night, being unable to transport themselves in the world of dreams, have I got a place for you. Sign up as a NSF technician and you'll have a 3-month holiday at a beautiful resort hotel called OETI. What's so special about this place? Oh, you'll definitely thank it's existence. Other than the wonderful staff that entertains you, it has a special magical air about it. It's mystical powers to quickly induce anyone to sleep in mere minutes has been a world record that's both astounding and unbelievable. Tourists who keep coming back have proven time and time again that this magical aura is here to stay. So what are you waiting for?! Book a spot in this wonderful resort now!!!"

=)

Ok, please do not take it so seriously, but yeah, you can guess what I'm talking about. Today's my first day in Ayer Rajah Camp, OETI, in months. I just LOVE that place!! Argh, if only I could be posted there!! Ok, fact from fiction: THERE'S NO MAGICAL AURA! BUT! That place drives me to sleep no matter where I am. Haha. It's amazing. I thought I'd get used to it, but generations of NSF there have testified, it is one helluva sleepyville. Not that it's stale and boring. It's just the way it is. (If it's ever torn down, I'm gonna establish an insomnia clinic there. I'd make millions!)

And by the "wonderful staff", I do mean it. The people there are just amazing and friendly. They've got years of experience and stories to amuse you, and are at any time, FRIENDLY. Mr Prem, one of my intructors back then, still remembers me. He's a crazy nut, cracking jokes with ease anytime. There's still more, but it's no use making this journal entry like the credits to a blockbuster movie. It's good to be back. It sure is. =)

I was just looking around in room today, and I realise how I've got quite a number of soft toys given to me by friends throughout the years. It's just amazing they're all still here. (I'm the God Of Losing Things.) Take a look.

Starting from left, a teddy bear I won as a prize in a lucky draw at ZHSS, some TY toy my sis bought, a gift from a fren, another one my sis bought for me, a TY from dunno who, another TY from anoynymous. Had no more space in my room, so I placed them on top of my cupboard. Haha. Quite old.

This is my current fave. Another gift from a special friend. Every time I look at it, it just looks so freaking cute la. Haha. Bought it for me cos said it look like me. Haha. Where got?! *bish* I dunno deny the cute part though. Y(^^,)>

This is one of my faves too. So called, my mascot! Haha. Well, I used to have a nickname U-Gui. (It means turtle in chinese.) Won't tell you the reason behind that nick.

Last but not least, cute no?! Haha. I love this one. Brings back lotsa memories. (^^,) I'll just leave it at that.

Quite a zoo eh? Haha. Thanks to the friends who gave things to remember. I always treasure everything you've given me. (PS: Daena, yes, that rock you gave me is still here. Oh, even the grass u took from ZHSS compound is still quite green. Haha. It's all here. Thanks for the most unique presents ever! I award you the trophy of Best And Fastest Birthday Presents ever!)

Ok, enough blogging. Time to get back to reality. Bye folks, and Selamat Hari Raya Haji. To the chinese folks out there, it's your time to enjoy. Hohoho.

Worst Driving Ever

2006-01-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

Dots. I drove rather terribly today. Kids using the electric cars under the void deck will definitely outclass me. Think they drive much more safer than me. Haha. After a month's break away from driving, I was really rusty. Struck the kerb twice, parking was horrigible, I was not smooth in transition, and I was really depressed ar. Ok, not so depressed that I'd commit a crash party, but, I was disappointed with the fact tt I'm nearing a TP soon, and with this kind of driving, I doubt a license is close at hand.

It's time to re-focus myself to that glittering safe driver on the road who'd do no wrong. Seriously, I MUST! I want to drive! I really do, for myself and others. Well, let me show you what I'd be driving after I get my license.

Hoho. This, my friends, is a Suzuki Liana. The only difference is that mine is golden in colour. I think the car is pretty good and cool. It has a digital speedometer and such, it's really spacious, and is affordable. I'm gonna have a good time with it, I just know it! =P Keep wishing me guys. I'm gonna need it.

Passed my advanced theory trial test too today. Gonna try even harder to pass it soon.

Ok, I know this is nothing really special, but to me it is. I saw a chicken at a bus stop. Haha. I dunno where the hell it came from, but it was sure funny to see one. It looked like it wanted to take a bus. I wonder if it's returning home after a hard day's work at the chicken pen. Hope it's safe. (A colonel might be lurking somewhere in the dark for it.)

On a side note, I liked the King Kong fight with the 3 T-Rexes. (Tyrannosaurus Rex) Here's another match-up I'd like to see King Kong go against. Have fun rumbling. Y(^^,)> Wonder who'd win.

Tried Chocolate Of A Thousand Leaves at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf yesterday. It was so-so. I wouldn't really recommend you buying it. Oh, Sushi Tei rocks balls! Gonna bring more money next time and spend like crazy.

3 Vees.

2006-01-07T08:48:00.000+08:00

Today's the day I officially become a sergeant. Hohoho. YEAH!!! Well, I'm more excited about the money I'll be getting than the rank actually, but being a sergeant has been one of my pre-NS goals actually. Feeling good about it. It also means that from today, it's officially 10 months to my ORD day. Finally, it's been this long huh. Halfway through, so I must hang on. Not that I despise what I'm doing to the max, but I'd love to come back to civilian life soon. That's when the chains that's bogging me down now will be lifted. =P

Well, I've met a lot of interesting people so far. I juz met this guy called Dawn Yeo, who I was doing duty with on thursday. He's studied in Australia all his life, after finishing his primary school here. He lives on a piece of land near the top of a hill, and has a clear view, with every meal at home, of the suburbs, which I think is awesome. This guy's place is definitely one I'll be going to visit if I go australia. It's damn easy to talk to him, cos he likes movies, and is an uncanny fan of X-Men. Haha. Wah, this is only the second person that I can talk about US comics to. (Darren was the first.) He knew his stuff in and out, and all those things I didn't manage to understand about all the X-Men sagas, he managed to make it mostly clear. Hohoho. Hail hail. (^^,)

Going to Paradise Island starting monday. What paradise u say? Of course, it's Ayer Rajah Camp, OETI! Ah, the memories. Love that place. But I'm doing some armour vehicles I think. That's kinda scary. Oh well.

I'm starting to learn a little bit of Adobe Photoshop. It's kind of cool, so I'm exploring what it can do. Look at my wife, Fina. She looks awesome rite? I love how it looks over here.

Well, that's about it. Getting back on track for driving. Better clear that advanced theory test soon. I've been slacking too much. Get cracking ahmad!!!

Fireworks

2006-01-02T20:11:00.000+08:00

There's no better way to welcome the new year than with a big bang. Fireworks of course. I gotta tell you, I'm in love with fireworks. Salutations to the chinese forefathers who discovered this glorious invention. (I bet they knew how to party. =P) It was only me and jasmine this time. Went to Sheare's Bridge near Esplanade to watch it. I'm quite glad I decided to go there and watch it. We were directly in front of the launch pad, 50 meters away, sitting on the railings of the bridge. It was a really nice view, with no obstructions this time round, unlike the Fireworks Festival back in 2003, where I sat near the Esplanade bay. The only trouble is getting there. We had to pass through puddles, grass, mud, and our sense of indirection, just to get there. It was fun though, cos talking really takes your mind off these things. So after long walks and doubts, we managed to reach the place.

The atmosphere was full of excitement. There were these Chinese tourists. I've never seen someone so excited and thrilled about fireworks before it even started. I'm not saying it's boring, but, being in Singapore all these years, I don't find many things here thrilling anymore. It was nice to hear laughter and all that. Makes me think of my younger days. Ok, I'm not a lao ah pek yet, but yeah, growing into adulthood makes you think back.

*psshhhh*
*boom*

The fireworks began. And boy, was it a great feeling. I mean, you could really hear the bang in your ears, and even the wind effect from the explosions. Awesome! It lasted 10 full minutes, and although it may not be the best fireworks around, it was definitely awesome. There's just simply one word to say about it. Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Thanks jas. Cos we were bums at home who had nothing to do, it was possible. Haha. For putting up with all the walking that nite, I will prevail in driving! And I'll come pick you up anytime. =)

Hope everyone will have a great year ahead. 10 more months, and I'm back to civilian life baby! =P Brings tears to my eyes. Haha. Ok, stopping here.

Christmas

2005-12-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

I suddenly had the urge to write today. I don't know why, but heck, no one can really explain the mysteries behind sudden urges. Well, christmas day just passed, and what a christmas it's been, although I've not really been in character.

First up, christmas day itself, saturday. The gang had decided to come over to my house for a christmas party. =) Ok, there's a good and bad to this. First up, I rarely held parties at my house, so yeah, rarity makes it especially special. The down side was, I can't be totally a 100% Ahmad. I guess that's why I've been out of character. There's two sides of me people should know. The family side of me, and the friend side of me. As you may have guessed, I am totally different when my parents are around, and when they're not. I just don't want to show them that side of me. It's weird, I know that, but I just can't shake it off. I envy my friends who behave the same way they are outside as well as on the inside. I have my reasons, as well as my preferences I guess. It'd be so much easier if I could express myself more honestly.

So, astray from that, the people who were supposed to come were xr, et, jolene, siting, sher, edmuund, kexin, jasmine, jiahui. Like any other thing that's not perfect, some people couldn't make it at the last minute. So in the end, there was me, xr, et, siting, jasmine and jiahui. (They all looked gorgeous that night. The theme for them was to wear girly, for a funny reason. Haha.) I mean, it's ok, I don't mind some people not making it, but there were kind of a lot of food on the line. My bad for not anticipating this, but I'm content enough that about half of the food was gobbled down. (Spare the imagery. We ate with perfect etiquette. Heh.) There was fried bee hoon, fried tempura crab meat, fried octopus ball, fried chicken and otah-otah. Fattening, but do our taste buds complain? I don't think so! (^^,) Since there weren't that many people gathered, it was kind of pointless to stay on in my house. Whilst siting, jas and jiahui had to leave, the rest of us headed to somerset to meet up with the 4e4 cliche.

It was kind of eye-opening to see people from your past. I saw yuan ping, marcus, lionel, kaiwei, kangming, amongst which I'm more familiar with. They're still the same. It felt weird of me that I wasn't the same like them that night. I just didn't act like myself. It irritates me that during these joyous occassions, things like these happen, and you know very well it can't be reversed. But it was still fun. I apologise to my friends for being un-entertaining that night. More could have been given. =/ Anw, orchard can only be described with one word on christmas eve nite. CARNAGE. Everywhere, there were foam sprays, party ribbons. People sprayed on everyone and anyone. I don't know why, but some are racist to the point that they spray on any Indian or ang moh that walked past. I'm just glad that nothing came out of it. The 4e4ians had no trouble having fun, spraying between themselves. I just stood there, like a moron, admiring their comedy. I guess I was pretty disturbed by the fact that people sprayed on even the cars, as well as the racist thing I just mentioned. So I didn't join in. But I enjoyed mingling with old friends. Catching up. After the carnage, we went to watch Narnia at PS. I thought it'd be a great movie, but it didn't really meet to full expectations. While the animations and graphics were nice, including the funny beavers of the show, I wasn't really impressed at the end of it. It just didn't appeal to me. I guess it's because I've watched some of the best movies around, so in comparison, it didn't stand out. I'm becoming more of a movie critic now. Hmm, I like. =)

After the movie, we rested at the 24 Hr kopitiam somewhere in between dhoby and city hall. I must admit, I like walking around during early early mornings and midnight. It's so peaceful, that it just melts my heart. I like peaceful places, be it nature or town. It's something that's not really common nowadays. Et had to reach home by 630 to make it for her trip to msia that morning, so I suggested taking a taxi with her. I'd stay, but when someone like that is in need to get home that badly, I just can't resist but help. I'm a great pretender, and I'll tell why next time. So yeah, that ends my christmas.

For the day of christmas itself, it was my grandma's birthday. How cool is that, to have your birthday on a christmas. If only there was snow to liven the days here in singapore. That'd be perfect. So celebrated my grandma's birthday, mingled with my cousin, and had a zelva gathering that night. Zelva will always be something special to me. It's where I can really let loose and have fun. If only I wasn't down with a stupid flu and sore throat that night. Darryl was really nice to send me home in his car. I wanna drive. I really want to!! Soon, I hope. =)

I'd give more details, but I'm tired. I have guard duty tomorrow, and a fresh mind helps. It's late, and I'm gonna have to sleep. Merry belated christmas everyone. And a happy new year. Take care.

D-Riving

2005-10-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

My oh my, I just can't believe it. I actually started driving. *gulps* (Good luck to you drivers out there. Now I understand tt driving is not really such an easy thing.) Well, it all started on saturday. I hadn't taken my BTT, so I had to do tt first. I had to pass it, cos if I don't, I'll keep on delaying my driving practicals more. Tt'll definitely suck. Luckily, I passed, and got my provisional driving license. (Let's hope it becomes a real license soon eh?) And straight after tt, I had a practical. I was definitely nervous. First time really on the driver's seat, taking command. But it was not tt bad actually, save a few problems with the clutch coordination. But I got used to it pretty well, and I was thinking, this might actually be fun. (Juz like when we were young, u'd ride those small lil cars or motorcycles in a small area, without a care in the world.) Then came today. Argh. Bloody hell, stupid car 107. The accelerator was definitely at fault la. It wasn't tweaked rite, and I couldn't control the pedal as much as I wanted to. I wasn't a driver. I was like a racer! The car went "VROOOoooom!!!" Cos the pedal will juz go down deeper on its own, thus, the higher acceleration. And tt stupid instrtuctor went on and on to scold me, saying things I already knew. I had to adjust. Nothing I could do abt tt shitty car. So yeah, tt made me shitty. It made me feel better I wasn't the only person scolding tt car. Gave my fren Bert a call, and he told me the exact same thing abt tt car. Ok guys, here's a tip. If you're going AMK for ur driving practicals, if u ever get car 107, juz sacrifice tt 60 plus bucks and save urself the torture. I bet tt car is used by shitty instructors who want someone to scold at, knowing tt the accelerator pedal sucks.

I have 150 bucks worth of shopping voucher at john little. So I went ahead to town to shop for clothes, cos hey, I really am in need of em. Anws, shopping alone was kinda eye opening. No one's there to pressure you. You just take your time, your own pace, and really, not have to worry about asking ur fren, "Hey, how bout this? Nice? Hmm. The colour leh? Is it too big?" Seriously, questions like these are quite unnecessary. They're just impulse kind of questions. Just go to the fitting room, try it on, and judge. Can never always rely on someone else. Just be urself, and if it sucks or rocks when ppl look at you next time, just be content with the fact tt it's your style. (And if you really did buy something sucky like some rainbow-coloured polo shirt or jeans tt look like they've been in the mud too long, WTF man?!) Anw, I only spent 50 bucks. Still got 100 bucks waiting in line, juz waiting to be used. Heh heh heh.

Den met xr and siting. They're working in some hotel called "Four Seasons Hotel". Now, hmm, I've been in singapore for a long time now, so naturally, I'd relate it to the bakery. Haha. Tt sure irritated siting a bit. Still looking lively. I wan an outing!

Went to wally's house soon after. His mum really cooks the best maggi in town. It's like, maggi, with veges, fishcakes, fishballs and egg, oh and ingredient x, which I am making up, but it is NOT a normal maggi. =] And the presentation is first class. I shall call her my maggi shifu. (^^,) Then me and wally juz talked and played guitar. It's always fun at wally's. There's always something to do. Playing guitar. Watching movies. Double chatting on msn. Talking. John Mayer videos and such. Funny video clips and commercials. Really, lots more. And his marine fish tank is really cool. It's just damn relaxing to look at it. (I have a picture of it in my multiply account.) Shall have a sleepover soon. (Take care on your outfield.)

Fasting month's coming soon, and you know wad tt means? LESS SPENDING! Muahaha. It's about time anyway. I'm spending wayyyy too much. Need to start working on my savings. Tmr, I'm starting my recovery course in ayer rajah camp. Back to paradise once again. Wee. (Tt means less money spent on transport too. My mum sends me there. Sometimes I hitch a ride back home too.)

And daena, yes, my mike is shitty. -_- Hopefully tt'll irritate me enough to make me buy the webcam, like yours. Den we can chat on skype all we want. Heh heh. Still missing ya here man. Take care and enjoy school, jilly. Ooops.

Tying The Loose Ends

2005-09-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

How is it so easy to juz let go and forget? Juz releasing the memories tt holds a great deal of worth, no matter the pain involved in juz remembering it. At least for me, it's really something I can't do. Tying the loose ends is how I always go about things. If there's things to settle, settle it. Who likes things halfway done anw? (Except for steak maybe?) Juz think of a half cooked chicken rice, soup, with an incomplete chilli sauce and black sauce? I dare u to eat tt and not puke. My fren has 3 exes, and it's not a bad thing. The no. of exes doesn't really determine wad kind of person you are. But, I asked him, did you settle things with them after everything? And except for one, yeah, things weren't really settled. Problems resurface, and there are moments where you think abt it, but it's foolish cos it's never going to reach a resolution. All you can do is ponder and ponder and ponder. And maybe a lil bit of regret too. Maybe he's right on one thing, which I kind of agree. Moving on really lifts the whole Titanic off ur chest. Juz move on. Such simple words. Juz kind of difficult to transit it into action. Maybe I'm juz a fool. It's slowing me down a lil rite now, but I'm trying to accept tt wad has been will be a has been. But if I cud, I'd definitely tie those loose ends of my life.

If there has been a rise in the no. of complaints received in my neighbourhood for noise disturbance, well, sorry my dear neighbours, but I can't get enuff of the electric guitar my fren lent me. =P OMG is the only expression on my face rite now. Love playing it, but been kinda tired. Been doing OT at work. And I mean, lots of OT. Feeling kinda down tt for 5 days in a week, u realli get nothing out of life except work with OT. You can onli escape by mingling with ur workmates. Lucky tim is there. I'd be dead bored if he weren't there. It sucks when you can't have fun even after work, juz cos of work. And I'm just talking abt playing the guitar only! Tt's life? Hope tt's bull.

Hoping to buy D'Addario XL 115, the kind of strings johnmayer uses. The guitar strings are seriously rusty. Takes e edge out of the sound. The amp's really good. It's Peavey. Gotta get me one of those. The guitar's not bad. Nothing beats Fender tho. Haha. Will definitely save up for tt. Now all I need to make it extra perfect is a size 10 spanner. Need it to fix the plug-in. ^^

Did physio for my knee today. Still hurts, and no answers. Got discharged cos I was "still young" and can take care of myself independantly. Wad the. Ok, fine, wadeva. I juz wanna find out wad's wrong with my knees at least. Can someone answer me tt?! Not all sulking today. Met ATW Wing SM, Master Tay! Haha. Funny. He has the same probs as me. I asked him how long has he had it. "Since 1997. It cannot be cured one." Thinking he has abt the same probs as me, maybe I shouldn't have asked? Haha. Maybe my knees are like tt. Maybe they're not. Gotta take extra care.

It's Alive.. ALIVE!

2005-08-27T15:41:00.000+08:00

Like giving life to a lifeless Frankenstein, I'm surprised to say I'm gonna put up this lifeless blog up once again. It juz reminds me so much abt my past, and how much I've really missed out during the many many months I've not been blogging. I'm lost, and this blog is wad's gonna change tt fact. How lost am I? Let's juz say, NS life has made me lose direction, will and perpetually draining me intellectually. Somehow, something's different. Now tt I'm in another camp (which I knew abt it last minute being my PERMANENT camp), life's juz not the same. If onli it was at nee soon, I'd be so much happier.

Flashback: Ok, wad u've been missing out. I'm currently holding a vocation as a technician. Yeah, it's a cool job. Picked up my skills at OETI (famously known as Only Eat Talk Idle) at Ayer Rajah Camp, was posted to Nee Soon Dri-Clad camp for further technical experience, and finally (and unfortunately) at Amoy Quee camp permanently.

I'd like to pour out my dissatisfaction abt it, but I'd rather not. Why waste my blog space? =P

Anw, hmm, yesterday, went to celebrate Eileen Tan's bdae, or shud i call her the usual et. (It's on 26th August) My my, I've not been keeping track of ppl's bdae. It's tt bad huh. I din even msg her, but yeah, at least I was there for the party. U can always count me to be at one. (^^,) We went to Border's Bistro. I gotta tell you, tt place is quite ex, but it's really nice. Got some pretty delish dishes. Can't exactly rmb their names, but if u see the word "tortellini" and "cod fish", u juz gotta try those dishes. Delish delish delish! After tt, we juz talked and talked, took pics, and drew on the table paper sheet. (Hmm. Pretty economical, but izzit environmental? I wonder how much paper they've used.) U can ask for crayons, and draw on the table. Oh, "we", means me, xr, sher, siting and et. After lots of acitivity, and photos, we went to foot the bill. Being a staff over there (xr, et, siting works there) seems to have it's great privileges. We onli payed 41.75 buckaroos. Tt's amazing, considering we ate close to 200 bucks worth of food and drinks. (We ate a lot yup.) With full stomachs, we called it a day. Went home with xr and sher, while et was picked up by her father, and siting went to take a bus. Talked all the way on the ride home. It's good to catch up to ppl u've not seen for some time, and for one, forever. It was fun. Real fun. (Sher, u really are rare to meet up with. I'm quite glad we met yest. Wished our cab ride was a lil longer.)

(Eileen's mum is amazing btw. They both have the same bdae, and are 2 years apart. Talk abt efficient planning huh. A small space to applause her!)

I'm not juz abt to rant abt my life yet. My memories of the 8 mths or so not blogging need to catch up. Adios. And may I continue blogging regularly in e coming times.

Spiderman: With great power, comes great responsibility.
Me: With greater rank, comes greater pay. WOohoo! I'm a corporal now!

Final Words

2005-01-06T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hello all.. This is gonna be my last blog-in for a very long time.. Well, this is my first log in a long while too, so, yeah, gonna try and make this as meaningful as I can.. My NS enlistment is this saturday, January 8th, 2005.. Wow, time sure flies, really fast, like a concorde.. I've had wonderful memories this holiday, and it's been a whole lot of fun having a whack this holiday.. There's juz no other way for me to thank all my friends who have spent their time with me and creating such wonderful memories for me to remenisce on in NS camp or share with others.. In short, thx guys, u all really rock!!

Hmm, I'm not sure if I can share everything on what I've done this holiday, but, hey, I'll make it short.. Dun wan u guys to suffer like the last time I did tt.. Here's a list of what I did:

1. ZHSS 4E1 Chalet (20 - 22 Dec)
2. Guitar Club Outing, Breeks Buffet (31 Dec)
3. Youx Stayover (3 Jan)
4. Weily Stayover (31 Dec)
5. Zelva NS Farewell Party, Marina Bay (10 Dec)
6. Kung Fu Hustle (24 Dec)
7. Siting Birthday Bash, Pasir Ris Park (12 Dec)
8. Uberture Crave Pageant Audition (14 Dec)
9. Duck Rice Outing (22 Dec)
10. Christmas Stayover, Orchard (25 Dec)
11. Zelva Stayover, My House (24 Dec)
12. Dinosaur Outing With Daena (4 Jan)

Well, there's still more, cos I know I've been going out practically everyday.. Am so tired I only got a few days to rest.. But it was worth it!!

This holiday has been a very insightful one.. I have been thinking a lot lately, about my future, my friends, and impt things that have been going on in my life.. I realize tt life is juz so wonderful, be it being alone at home reading a book (The Godfather is nice, read it!) or going out with a large group like Guitar Club or my ZHSS pals.. I occasionally get lucky too, by meeting long lost frenz who I've not met in a gazillion years.. It's such a small world I guess.. And I'm quite glad it is btw!! ^^ I realize there's a lot of things I wanna improve about myself, for me and everyone around me too.. I feel that I should really grow up and not be so childish about things anymore.. Be more mature in approaching things, handling em.. Improve my way of thinking.. I also wanna improve my physique, which is guaranteed in NS anyway, and grow taller too.. (Hee, I got a secret!!) I've got 2 years to do this, and by the time I am out from NS, I hope by then, I become a better man.. The fire inside me to become even stronger is still there, burning as bright as it once used to.. Tt's my goal, To Become Strong!! I wanna become stronger for tt someone.. ^^

I bet most of u reading this now will either be working, or stuck in school still.. But, as a wise man (Bobby McFerrin) once said, Don't Worry, Be Happy.. (Tt's the title of his song btw.. Wonderful stuff..) It's all a small phase, and sooner than u know it, it'll be over, so treasure the moment.. Well, 2 yrs in NS might seem long, but I'll try not to think tt way, altho it's kinda tuff..

I wanna say a very special thanks to sy, for u have made me stronger than any other person ever had.. The times that are spent, good or bad, has been wonderful.. If I've done any wrong at all, I wanna apologize.. Yet again, even now, you still give me great strength and joy.. I will become stronger, and better.. Wish me luck in NS!! Gonna miss u..

Special thanks to jas, cos you too, have made me stronger without knowing it.. If it weren't for u, there'd be a lot of things tt wouldn't make me who I am now.. Take care and hope you'll find a great job.. Remember our pact!!

Special thanks to V6 and co, for always having those crazy outings, and I was never ever bored for a single moment.. It was comfortable juz being around you guys, and you too, have shown the doors to a whole new experience.. Gonna miss you all!!

Special thanks to the Zelva guys and NYJC guys.. U all rock man.. The outings, the fooling around, the jokes, the laughter, all too much to handle.. Will keep in contact, for sure..

And thanks, to everyone I know.. Rest assured, no one's left out in my mind.. It's been fun, really fun.. Now, you all take care k.. Gonna miss u all..

This has been Ahmad writing and saying goodbye.. If you got anything u wanna msg me about or tell me, u still can sms me or mail me at flamecaster_m@hotmail.com or flamecaster_m@yahoo.com.. Till we next meet, ciao!!

Something's Missing

2004-12-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

"Something's Missing"

I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.

I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Something's different
And i don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends -check-
Money -check-
A well slept -check- Opposite sex -check-
Guitar -check-
Microphone -check-
Messages waiting for me, when i come home -check-

How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means

How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means

(A song by John Mayer again.. Cool stuff.. Ok, I'm a fan of his, but his words really reflect something, at least for the moment..)

Ok guys, I'm lazy to blog it seems.. One: There's too much to blog.. Wahahaz.. Sry dudes.. Two: Cherishing my last moments b4 NS, so I can't really waste it on blogging.. Three: Kinda lazy.. >.< Good nite all..

Life Coloured Black And White

2004-12-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

Here I am again, pondering about life.. Such purity in its description, it holds many meanings in which we can perceive.. Life is never colourful.. It is basically separated into 2 colours: White, for it's everlasting purity in which we find joy and laughter, and Black, for it's feared relation to the meaning of death, pain, sorrow.. Tt's why we're all gray.. There can never be an ultimate purity in juz about anything in this world.. I've juz had to go through handling the loss of one of my dear friends, Mr John Lim.. I know, it's been a while now, but I've always wondered, why oh why must such a good man like him die?! I'm not saying bad men and women deserve to die indiscreetly, but, why?! It is such a great loss, not even memorials and the pictures left behind can show everyone the great legacy he has set and left behind.. Such a kind teacher who always gives that extra effort in everything he does.. A man with passion deserves every bit of my compassion!! He was such a man, a man whom I respect with utter respect.. Alas, the black colour of life has been filled into my life.. Maybe I've been having too much joy in my life tt such a great calibre in tragedy had to happen.. This shade of gray will remain grey I guess.. Somehow, I wish tt my life will reach the whiteness tt everyone is pursuing for.. Well, however childish tt thought may be, it is nevertheless a dream I'll continue pursuing..

As I said, I have been having a great time this holiday, but I shall not write it out now.. Just this once, I am dedicating one day to Mr John Lim.. You'll hear from me soon.. No doubts on tt.. Good nite everyone.. Stay safe..

A Very Good Man

2004-12-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

Everyone in NYJC knows the news and weeps at the moment of bearing the news.. Our beloved PE teacher, Mr John Lim Chih Hong, has passed away from a tragedy tt had occured in New Zealand.. It's too much to bear.. At the instant such a heavy news weighted down on me, I begged it not to be true.. Alas, my worst fears came to light, for it is true, a good man, a very good man, has been erased from the reality we know as life.. It is sad, I know.. Tears were being held back as I tried hard on accepting the news.. He was my PE teacher, a fren, brother, father to me.. I simply adored his ever calm mind and friendly gestures as we talked during and off school times.. I simply wish tt u, sir, have a peaceful rest for now.. Peace be with u.. I'm really gonna miss u a whole terrible lot.. Words cannot describe the feelings I'm going through now.. Take care sir..

Goodbye Prom Of Goodbyes

2004-12-07T13:14:00.000+08:00

Eh-oh!! (Teletubbies for hello.. ^^) Hahaz.. I just had one of my most wonderful days yesterday.. It was PROM NITE!! Woot!! The day tt I've been preparing so hard for and looking forward to had arrived.. There was a sense of excitement in me since this was my first ever prom.. In sec sch, it was so unfair, cos in our last year, we suggested for a prom, and they only did it the year after we graduated.. *bish bish* Anw, forget tt.. The main highlight was yesterday night.. Let's start from the beginning shall we?? ^^

Well, the day started off with weilien meeting up at my place.. I was given the task of styling his hair.. Hahaz, tt was fun.. Btw, it was an utter failure thank u!! (Sry weily!! I got no exp la.. Hahaz.. I tried k!!) Devastated by the failure, we went to the hair salon at Compass Point.. I kept saying we muz go to Jean Yip for styling our hair.. Tt was stupid man.. It was a slimming center!! And I was like (oO:), sweatdrops on my head.. Hahaz.. Weily, as usual, gives me the -_- look.. We went to a REAL hair salon next, and styling was 12 bucks per head.. The guy who did my hair was very friendly!! He told me tt were were the 5th and 6th person to come there for styling.. Obviously, he's referring to other NYJCians who went there to do their hair.. Hee, coincidental.. The guy who did my hair made it look nice, and I really liked it.. I never imagined such a hairstyle on me.. I got lotsa pics, so u can ask me to send pics online ya?? Anw, weily wasn't so happy with his tho.. Can't really blame the stylist.. His hair was too bushy and heavy.. But for me, I didn't think it was too bad.. Guess weily had some other plans for the hair.. Went back to my placec, wore our suits, and voila, MIBs baby!! (One Man In Black and one Man In Brown.. Hehe..) Watching Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind to kill time, (our fav movie btw..), we left at 545, all smartly dressed, took a cab.. I wore my Bata shoes.. Weily laughed at it.. -_-

Reached the lobby of Swissotel kinda early, so we walked around and saw Terrence.. He was dressed up kinda retro style.. Saw glen too.. His hairdo was cool, and his clothes too.. Always knew he had tt good sense of fashion!! Met corrinna too.. I confessed to her of how I lost the metal flower she gave me on graduation day.. She beat me!! *waaa* Hahaz, I deserved tt.. I was so sad in losing it.. We took pics, and I talked to her fren.. (Dunno wad's her name..) I used to mistake her for my pri sch fren, cipei, who was in the same school too.. Hahaz.. I juz suck man.. Corrinna said I looked like Taufik.. In fact, the whole day, I was called Taufik instead of Ahmad/Mad/Zhanglang/Mud/Ikan Bilis/U Gui/Snatch Thief/etc.. Hahaz.. Kinda flattered, but I still see no resemblance.. Well, I took the identity of being his "brother".. Hahaz.. The most surprising thing is tt this cashier at a supermarket said I looked like Taufik too.. Pai seh.. Hahaz.. Ok, let's get this straight people!! He looks like me, not I look like him!! =P (Thick skin!! Muahahaz..) When it was time for prom, I went ahead to take pics and sat at our table, Table 27.. The host was gay sia.. A bit dirty and horny too.. The Prom King and Queen was chosen unfairly for me.. Some of the more recognizable babes were not up, cos they were selected thru certain Captains.. (We were divided into the East and West side.. I was at the West..) Well, who are these babes?? Well, juz my opinion, but there's Casssandra, Joanne, Easterina, and a few more tt I shall not disclose.. ^^ Oh well, kee, jose's gf, was chosen as prom queen and eugene the prom king.. Not bad, not bad.. Jose called himself the Mr Prom Queen.. Hahaz.. (Erm, congrats on tt title yeah??) The guys at his table were saluting him when kee won the Prom Queen title.. Funny shit.. Nat came and sat with us.. He looked damn zai as always.. He sneaked in btw.. Din even have a ticket!! Hahaz.. Anw, before he came, I was sitting beside two couples.. Der and Kexin, Rich and Grace.. Walao.. Super lightbulb can.. When one side was mushy, I moved the other side, and they did the same thing, and I was like -_-.. Might as well I become the sun la.. Hahaz.. Anw, it was for fun.. I wasn't bothered actually.. The prom ended quite unexpectantly.. I din even know it ended.. Hahaz.. Nobody danced on the dance floor there.. We all took pictures straight away.. I was having a mad run to take pics with everyone.. Took with everyone I knew, and one tt I din know in person.. ^^

With the pic fest out of the way, went ahead to meet up with jas they all, with the aim of going clubbing.. Xr called me Taufik, expectant of me to take the taxi fare as I was her Singapore Idol.. (Walao, u so evil one.. -_-) Being the person tt I am, I did it anws.. Hahaz.. Went to China Black at first.. Closed.. Then to Boat Quay.. No good clubbing places.. Then finally to Mohamed Sultan Road.. Still, cudn't club.. Tt's cos there was onli 1 hour left to do so, so it wasn't worth our money.. Walao, I paid for 3 taxi rides.. Waste of money.. Soin the end, we went pubbing and pooling.. Ok, it wasn't so bad.. Met weijie, angeline, siting, marcus there.. Did those stuff till 3++.. After tt, took one last taxi ride to jas' place, and still not done with the nite, talked the nite away till 530.. I ended up taking out her lil clips from her hair.. 41 in total!! Wah!! We were laughing cos there was so much.. Doin her hair the way she did it was nice, but I guess it muz have been painful too.. ^^ (Hope ur hair's back to normal yeah??) Sending her home, I took a slow stroll home, thinking wad a nite it has been.. Prom has finally marked my flight out of school life.. Soon, a new exp will await me.. I shall toughen myself up for tt.. Well, physically, there's NS.. Mentally, I've got 2 years to think of how I want my future to be.. Reached home, uploaded pics, and made my journey to Dreamland on my Bed Express..

A day b4 prom, a fren whom I onli juz rececntly knew was heading overseas to study.. Tt guy's name is Krishna Dermawan.. Hahaz.. A really nice guy, and weily's bez fren.. Although I knew him for barely a month, the times we've spent together as a group was funny and exciting.. Although he told all of us not to come, we did it anw.. I mean, hey, how can we let u leave so discreetly?!?! I was never good with goodbyes, but we still managed to crap the way we always do.. Took pics, and his late fren came, sebastian.. He came with a surprise.. A photo of a girl he fancies, and in a large portrait size too.. He was overjoyed, and laughter consumed the terminal hall.. He held it like an Olympic Medal, a Nobel Prize, etc.. Funny the way he was surprised upon seeing it.. Hahaz.. Posing with more pics with his grandma, we then finally said our last goodbyes.. I know tt once again, I have lost the presence of another great fren in Singapore.. (Take care dude.. Hope we'll meet up again soon.. Be sure to call us!!)

I've been enjoying the days so far, but NS still bugs me a little.. Oh well, putting tt aside, I wanna treasure the last few moments of freedom.. Almost broke now cos of prom.. Better be careful with my finances.. To all the frenz who turned up for prom and didn't, miss u guys always.. It's been a precarious but enjoyable 2 years in NYJC.. Rest assured, we'll keep in contact!! Goodbyes!!

It's The Holi-Holi-Holi-Holi-Dayz!!

2004-12-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

Ahem, may I officially announce tt I am entering the greatest time of my life, the much awaited post A Level holidays!! Omg, it's here, it's here!! *runs around like a lil kid who juz got his new toy* Hahaz, wow, I know this is kinda late to say this, esp when the holidays started like wad, 10 days ago?? Hee.. Sry ar, but I've been having too much fun in my life since after the A's.. So busy tt I dun even have tt much energy to write any logs.. So much fun, I'll die a happy man!! Okok, so wad's been fun?? Hmm, there's so much I wanna say, so bear with me.. *bear growl* =P

Day 1:
Kk, let's start of from the beginning.. The last paper was Physics Paper 5, which was on the 25th Nov.. Of all times for the last day, it took place at 2!! Argh, so late!! Wish it'd started earlier cos I was anxious, anxious for it all to be over!! It didn't turn out oo badly either way, cos in the end, it finally did end!! Muahahaz!! So after 1 hour rotting in the hall, freedom!! I was screaming in my head and mouth too.. I felt like a heavy load was over me once and for all.. Ahh, bliss I tell you.. I dunno wad to say but juz tt it feels so goddamn awesome!! ^^ After tt, I overheard my friend saying,"Hey, wanna go Sakae Sushi?" And boom!! I popped up next to him and said,"I'm in!!" FYI, I'm addicted to jap food, esp Sakae Sushi!! So in the end, me, rus, rich, andy, clarence, vegustian, guan went out.. Well, for such a happy day, u'd normally expect a sunny day with a rainbow over me, and birds chirping with the sweet tunes of peace.. Hah!! Fat hope man.. It was raining so heavily, the school looked like some dumb dump.. Mud everywhere, puddles, leaking pathways, floods.. Wah, wad a way to end everything!! But it was refreshing.. I went in the rain a lil, and felt the rain purify me.. It's a new life I tot to myself, cos this marked the last day of any school life for me.. So I trtied to enjoy it the bez I can.. Rus, with his usual crazy self, was walking and somewhat dancing in the rain!! Funny.. We went to Sim Lim afterwards, all drenched and cold from the rain and air-con in the bus.. Apparently, clarence wanted to buy some audio stuff for his comp.. In the end, we all ate BK, and I was a bit sad in the beginning cos NO SAKAE SUSHI!! Oh well, with friends there, anything can taste good!! ^^ After walking around Sim Lim, awed at new comps, LCD screens, and games, (man, a boy's wet dream come true!! =P), we saw nat.. He too was searching from comp parts.. Good to see he was in the pink of health.. He finished earlier than us for A Levels.. Lucky guy!! (T.T) Soon after, with clarence and rus being able to get their hands on their lil toys, we went separate ways.. Rich and me went to Swee Lee to buy guitar strings, and admire the electric guitars which we oh-so-desire!! Well, admiring, admiring, admiring.. ... WHEN AM I GONNA GET ONE?!?!? ^^ I had to leave soon after, cos I'm meeting the Zelva guys to watch movie at nite.. Meeting them was really uplifting, cos I've not seen some of them in a very long while.. We caught up, and watched The Incredibles!! Whoa, tt movie was awesome!! Anw, I din notice darryl till at the end of the movie.. He had a cool hair-do!! Wish I cud show u all.. ~sigh~ Went home after tt, still in a bit of disbelief tt the A's are really over.. Hoorah!!

Day 2:
Friday, Nov 26, I went to dye my hair with jas.. I was so excited, cos this is a first for me.. My mum was shocked to hear me wanting to dye my hair.. "U?? Dye hair??" was what she said with a gaping mouth.. Hahaz.. Guess my good boy image was too strong for her.. Muahahaz.. Anw, after a bit of delay from the rain, I met up with jas at Hougang Point (the sukkiest place on earth!!) and discussed with her wad colours to dye our hair.. (FYI, we're doing this for prom!! Hee, tt too is gonna be exciting..) Glad to have someone do it with me, esp if it's jas.. I always feel comfortable doing a whole lotta stuff with her and she always soothes my nerves.. Anw, after a whole lot of discussion in Watson.. Our main them was tt of brown or copper brown.. Around there.. Anw, with a vague idea of wad we wanted, we went straight to the hair salon called Redken.. Jas went and done it first.. I must admit, she looked damn pretty when the hair stylist was doin her hair.. I dunno how to say it, but when the hair stylist clipped her hair Scorpion style, it was whoa, omg, amazing!! *blush* Anw, I get to see first hand how girl's hair was dyed.. They applied the dye solution, then used aluminium foil to cover.. So her hair had aluminium all over.. ^^ Next came my turn.. Ok, mine was a bit more embarassing, cos when it came to dying, they had to wrap my head with some transparent plastic foil.. Wrapping me up like Ali Baba, I looked like a guy with a condom on the head.. -_- Thk gawd I was situated in a blind spot at a corner.. My facee was really -_-.. No words can describe the embarassment.. Hahaz.. Anw, after pulling out some of my hair thru the plastic, they dyed my hair.. Jas finished first, and it was really nice on her.. Perfecto!! Mine ended after another 30 min.. (Sorry u had to wait tt long..) Well, it looked kinda nice, but not all tt visible, but good enuff.. Jas' was awesome.. Congrats to the both of us on dyed hair!! Hahaz.. It's a first for both of us.. Couldn't stay for long, much to my dislike cos I'd wanted to talk more, but I had another fren waiting for me.. Argh!! I was like 1 hour late!! And the worst part, she waited tt long for me!! Who am I talking about?? Well, my pri sch fren, joanna.. Wow, she sure knows how to be on time.. ^^ (Sry!! =X) We had planned to go to the electronics fair in Expo called the Sictex.. Rushing and apologising to her later on, I was surprised she looked all calm.. She too was a patient person as I was.. She was used to ppl coming late, juz like me.. Hahaz.. But of course, I never ever like to make a girl wait!! We took 72 to tampines, and chatted juz like we do on MSN.. It's really fun talking to someone who can understand lame stuff as well as talk lame stuff together.. Hahaz.. (Oei, u really are lame.. Dun deny!!) Remeniscing on our pri sch life, as well as any other topics under the sun, the bus journey didn't seem tt long.. Finally reaching expo, I was amazed to see so many digicams, comps, mp3 players, and so-on.. Ok, a lot of funny brands, but there were recognizable ones too.. Panasonic, Acer, Epson, Creative, etc.. All the offers were really attractive, but money is always the prob.. Hahaz.. Well, all I wanted tt day was a CD player.. Too bad they din sell.. (Of all things?!?!) Tired and hungry, we decided to have a Sakae Sushi battle at Funan IT Mall there.. (Ok, for the first time, I noticed how to go there.. All those other times, my mum sent me by the use of a car..) There was a Sakae Sushi there tt had buffet after 6.. We really ate till we dropped, well, me actualli.. Hahaz.. Wow, she's really a great rival!! She can eat as much as I can, mebbe even more!! Scary.. Hahaz.. We came in at 6, and left the last at 10++.. Stomach was so damn full!! But it was worth the money.. I really enjoyed every moment eating the food!! Still having a sense of adventure, I suggested watching the nite lites in the city, and we ended up at esplanade.. Wah, nice nice!! Wanted to go to the roof, and we were lucky enuff to see the police put the -No Entry- sign.. Hahaz.. How "lucky"!! Being denied entry, we juz walked along the river.. Talking talking talking, and noticing a floating candle in the middle of the river.. I tot it was a ghost, but she saw it too, so I guess false alrm then.. Hahaz.. We came to a conclusion tt it was tt lantern festival thing, where ppl let candles float in the water.. (We were right!! Shall elaborate later..) So we walked on the path of Esplanade Park.. It was beautiful, but we had to sneak quietly thru cos a lot of couples were there doin ahem-ahem.. Feeling adventurous, we both moved on further from the furthest we've gone at the park.. Ok, it was dark, eerie, and had funny smells, but it sure was beautiful with the moonlight and all tt.. Can't believe in one nite, we talked so much tt we walked all the way to kallang!! Omg, esplanade park is connected to kallang?!?! Well, new exp.. But fun fun fun!! It was really a long walk, and I felt my legs grow heavier.. But talking juz makes tt all go away!! Finally, about the floating candle, we saw more as we walked further.. Turns out it's a Thai festival, and gawd, it was beautiful with the floating candles in the water.. Breathtaking!! Wish I brought a camera.. >.< Taking a really lousy pic using her cam, we wanted to venture further, but the rain came and spoiled it!! ARGH!! It was kinda funny, cos it started raining only after her mom told her tt it was raining in Hougang.. -_- And the funny thing is tt we were running away from the rainwhen it came.. It was chasing us.. Who was faster?? Let the drenced clothes tell u the answer.. =P We took taxi home, and after such an eventful day, pinky sweared each other to finish the adventure on another day, armed with an umbrella of course.. (We will have a chance again, I promise!!) Oh, she lent me Gundam Seed oso.. Watched it all nite, and never slept!! (Well, mebbe for an hour) So I finished watching the VCD in less than 24 hrs, which surprised joanna cos wow, 50 eps is like 16 hours.. And I did it withing 24 hours.. Hahaz.. (Wad can I say, I'm an anime fanatic!!) Anw, thx joanna!! It was really a wonderful day!! Thx to jas too!! U looked reallyx4 great!!

Day 3:
Saturday, 27 Nov.. Initially wanted to go for my Zelva soccer training, but had to go out with my mom and sis, cos we rarely have any chance to go out together at all.. Not really thrilled, but juz went for the sake of going.. It turned out quite ok, after eating Unagi Bento in Restaurant Hoshigaoka.. Nice!! After tt, went to buy my prom suit at G2000 in Wisma Atria.. Wow, it was nice!! Price was nice too, 200++.. Well, it was a good deal.. Blazer, shirt and pants.. ^^ Awesome!! Kinda guilty my mom paid for it tho.. I wanna be independant!! I'll get my chance soon.. Soon after, went home again, watched Gundam Seed till the end, and voila, bed express here I come!! (Kinda tired from not sleeping the day b4..) I think I dreamt I was the hero of Gundam Seed.. Hahaz.. My mind was really saturated with Gundam Seed!!

Day 4:
Monday, 29 Nov, went out with xr, jas, eileen, daena, siting, puay, jiahui, to the beach at East Coast Park in the mornz.. Wah, wad a great day!! Beautiful glorious sunny day!! Anw, after a whole lot of waiting, finally reached East Coast Park and went straight to cycling!! I took the couple bicycle with puay, cos she didn't know how to cycle.. It was quite funny, cos I was so new to the thing, and it was kinda jerky to start.. ^^ Anw, the funny part is when we had to turn.. We'd go one big circle to turn!! Wah, retarded sia, but funny.. Hehe.. Puay was really fun to ride with, and no, u weren't heavy at all k!! I was kidding!! Siting brought her lil neighbour along.. It was a small pri 2 girl I think.. So cute to see siting acting like a mother to her.. It was touching.. ^^ Anw, we tried to race her, with xr beside us.. I shouted to siting "Mother!!" cos she never took care of the lil gal.. Hahaz, I think she was a bit paiseh I did tt, and looked at me and said,"Okok!!".. Not angrily of course.. I laughed!! Soon, xr replaced me on the bike with puay.. I took the single bike, xr took the couple.. Xr was kinda short, so it was hard for her to start, let alone get on it.. Cute.. Well, she suceeded in the end, and off she went!! After about an hour cycling, we went on to try to teach puay how to cycle.. It was hard in the beginning, and as the rest went to cycle, I stayed behind to teach her.. It was tough, and I was so ignorant of my surroundings I fell backwards and hit my head on a tree.. Ow!! But hahaz, funny.. U shud have seen me!! It was like in a comic those kind.. (Well, my mum did say I was comical..) It was worth teaching puay, as she started to resemble a pro cyclist.. (Is there such a thing?? Hahaz..) She managed to cycle AND brake!! Whoa, tt was fast!! Congrats puay, my evil fren!! Tired from the attempts of cycling, I took out my ping pong ball and played table tennis using the park table.. Hahaz.. Ok, why on earth did I bring a ping pong ball?? I was told to bring a ball, like volleyball, but in the end, cos I had no pump, I took the onli ball I had, ping pong!! Hahaz.. They were like -_- at first.. Hey, it turned out to be useful k!! (And tt ping pong ball was from my pri sch.. Till now, it's been with me!! I joined table tennis in pri school btw..) It was fun playing table tennis with our hands.. Hee.. We looked like professionals!! (Lee Jiawei, move over!! ^^) We went kayakking afterwards, and I gotta say, I miss it badly now!! It was juz like canoeing, and it was fun!! Paddling hard in the sea with dae as my partner, we saw a jellyfish!! Nice.. Anw, the view from the sea was beautiful, watching the sun slowly returning to it's slumber den.. The skies were painted in different shades of orange, blue, a spectrum really.. Beautiful!! After an hour and a half in the sea, we headed back to shore on the advice of puay who was worried of the rising tide and it's ever-growing ferocity from the incoming waves.. It was easy putting back the kayaks, except for one.. It was jas' and jiahui's kayak!! Even I can't move it easily.. We soon found out tt the water was chucked full of water!! Walao, no wonder so heavy!! I cud have contended for heavyweight lifter!! ^^ Anw, so we inverted it and let the water flow from a small hole.. Tt turned out a stupid idea.. 1 min.. 2 min.. 3 min.. 4 min.. Still, water was flowing non-stop!! Hahaz.. We stood there like idiots letting the water out.. We were commenting of how the water was enuff for us to bathe, enuff to save kids in Africa, enough for washing our dirty slippers and sandals.. Hahaz, it really was a lot!! The person in charge of the kayaks came after abt 10 min, and looked at us.. He showed us another way to remove the water, which was thur a bigger hole covered by a plug.. And we were like, dotz, why din we think of tt?!?! Standing there like idiots for the whole time.. Hahaz.. Anw, even with the bigger hole, it continued pouring water for very long too.. I was glad tt jas and jiahui din sink with so much water in it.. Phew.. Anw, with the last kayak put in place, we were beat!! Went to bathe and all tt, and it was refreshing!! I had to leave them early cos I had a Zelva bbq at Pasir Ris Park!! Ooh yeah!! Finding out tt they haven't started the bbq, I rushed using taxi towards Pasir Ris Park, after dropping eileen at a nearby mall where she met her parents for dinner.. Spending 13.60 on the taxi fare, met up with the guys, and the feasting din begin at first.. Hahaz.. Having the reputaion of the name "satay man", I was faced with the task of lighting another fire.. I started out with a few charcoal, the size of my face.. I knew I had A LOT OF WORK to do.. Well, after about an hour of blowing and fanning and placing charcoals strategically, woo, it turned into a big fire.. Another fire saved!! Hahaz.. Then I went on ahead for an eating spree.. Delicious my dear frenz!! Simply delicious!! I met darryl's gf for the first time, and she looked cuter than the pic he shown me b4.. Good on u darryl!! Better treat her good!! The biggest moment was when I met youx.. Whoa, tt bugger, still the same bugger I met in sec sch.. Hahaz.. It was really funny talking to him again, always tt same lame self.. Youx is one of my bestest frenz in zhonghua days.. Always a whole lot of fun to talk to, and he knows most of my woes and joys.. Even if he doesn't know now, I make it a point to tell him during the times we meet.. Basically, the bbq was sucessful.. Barely any food was left, anf the stingray was the highlight of the day!! Simply delicious!! One was butter and garlic marinated, and the other had a spicy touch to it!! The rest of the nite was me and youx talking about our lives since the time we went separated ways.. It was really nice to let it all out, esp to someone who understands u.. He too shared his probs and exp.. After we talked for damn long, resisting the cold breezes from the sea, we went to join the guys playing Piggy in the middle of the road.. Hahaz.. Nice.. None of us really slept, except for me, darryl, youx, shang.. We onli slept less than an hour I think.. Anw, it was fun, cos as all of them were guys, we just let out wadeva we wanted to, and gayed with each other, as well playing soccer and mingling like any group of fun loving guys would.. I can be myself at the highest level!! No objections there.. ^^ Stayed overnight and returned home, sleeping till quite late in the noon..

Day 5:
Tuesday, Nov 30.. Ok, rmb I went home to sleep after the bbq?? Woke up after tt and went to make my contact lens.. So I bathed, and went to hougang point (the sukkiest place on earth!!), entered Nanyang Optical, and asked for a one-month pack of contacts.. Wah, it was kinda exciting, cos I've never ever imagined I would wear one.. Anw, after showing me proper techniques to place the contact lens, I tried and was amazed at how clear everything was.. It's like, whoa, wad the?!?! I had renewed vision, renewed vigour upon wearing the contacts!! Buying it, I wore it for the rest of the day, amazed and awed at my renewed vision.. Now, I started thinking to myself.. WHY?!?! WHY DIN I GET THIS THING EARLIER?!?! Hahaz, oh well, new exp, juz like jas said.. Went home again, and rested for the most part of the day..

Day 6:
Wednesday, Dec 1, the long awaited Guitar Club Chalet is finally here!! Muahahahahahaz!! Can't imagine how happy I felt knowing tt the day finally came!! Anw, weily juz returned back from his trip to taiwan tt day, but he still went to the chalet anw.. We all met at Tampines Interchange, and I was late!! Argh.. I was slacking a bit at home, and the bus I took was retardedly slow.. -_- Anw, upon reaching there, not every1 was present.. I was 2nd last to arrive.. Hahaz.. I finally saw michelle, the girl who left NYJC for poly.. Wah, she still looked the old cute self I knew from jc.. Great seeing her again!! She's still all smile and lame too.. Hahaz.. Anw, weily told me he had changed his hairstyle while he was overseas.. It looked quite ok, but it can be improved.. Anw, to me, not much of a change.. Hahaz.. Upon val's arrival, and a few j1s, (5 in total, and all guys!! sobz..), we all went on ahead to the guitar chalet!! We started the day off by playing guitar, a bit of poker games, and exploring the chalet.. Gotta say, it was bigger than last year's.. And there was a baby bed!! Somebody's gonna get busy tonite!! (Looks at Mr and Mrs Wong!!) Muahahaz.. For those who don't know, Mr Wong is the teacher-in-charge for Guitar Club, and he's held this chalet for us last year too.. (TT was good too!!) So the bbq started, and again, it was awesome, esp the chicken, which Mr Wong prepared with his one of a kind secret marinating sauce.. Eating and playing till the Singapore Idol arrived, we all watched it.. Everyone in the chalet was supporting Taufik!! We were awed by Taufik's performance, and awed at Sylvester's fake comments from the judges.. Ok, he's not TT bad, but not good enough to be the Singapore Idol k!! Anw, juz before the results were announced, me and weilien hugged each other in anticipation, hoping for Taufik to win it.. I dared to say I would strip if Sylvester won, and strange enuff, every1 wanted Sly to win.. -_- Ok, Taufik won, I hugged weilien very tightly I think.. Hahaz.. So happy!! Me and weily then went on up to play guitar and jammed.. Mr and Mrs Wong recorded us jamming!! Heard they're gonna post it up on the school system.. Hahaz.. The rest of the nite, the guitar club members had a whole load of fun, playing chong qing ni ma, monopoly, and talking all nite.. Doing dares too.. Hahaz.. We played heart attack, and man, I was hit a lot!! -_- Funny.. Loser had to feed chocolate to the winner.. I did tt a lot, with a red hand of course.. -_- Since I lost so much, my forfeit was to kiss Choon Guan on the cheek.. Argh!! I did it, but man, kissing a guy was yuck!! Well, it was all for good fun.. Me and weily were guards for the girls who went to bathe.. We started talking about how we're gonna miss every1 in guitar club, which was the reason why NYJC life was really really great!! U guys rock, totally!! Soon, me, weily, liping played fireworks in the wee wee hours of the morning.. They started throwing the fireworks up, and by the time it came to my turn, the fire was out.. -_- Hahaz.. Not ever sleeping, we went to the beach to watch the sunrise.. Ok, bad thing was that we were facing in the opposite direction, and that there were no good places to watch the sunrise.. Oh well, the morning was beautiful anw.. It was great to have the guitar club having an adventure together!! We sent some of the peeps off, cos come had to work and some had other plans tt day.. So only me, weily, grace, liping, guan, andrew, kevin were left.. Me and liping were the only ones who din sleep thruout, so we played monopoly.. (interesting fact: Monopoly was the first game I ever cried on.. Hahaz.. Hey, I was a kid back then, and I dunno how to handle bankruptcy can?!?!) Surprisingly, I was doing quite well, save for some unlucky turns.. ^^ After checking out, and waking the sleepy ones up, another new day begins!! Btw, Guitar Club, u guys really really rock my world!! It was awesome!!

Day 7:
Thurs, 2 Dec, after leaving the chalet, me, liping, grace decided to send off dini and agatha at the airport.. They're leaving, and may not come back.. U know, I've never been good with goodbyes, so I was feeling kinda sad when I heard they were leaving the day after the chalet.. Before we did tt, we went to watch The Incredibles at Tampines Mall!! (Ok, a 2nd time for me, but worth it!!) After tt, went to buy dini's and agatha's farewell prez and went to Changi Airport.. For one thing, the airport really lacks POSB Atm machines man.. I had to walk from end to end to draw money.. -_- Anw, we wrote msgs for both agatha and dini.. I created a poem for dini, which was rather crappy cos I din know wad else to think.. Saw them for the last time, and exhanged my last handshakes with both of em.. I really was sad, but I din wanna show it.. Enjoy the time I've been given with them.. Taking pics, we finally sent them off.. There they stood, at the departure entrance hall.. We waved our last goodbyes, and made them promise to call us if ever they return to singapore.. Guys, I'll miss you a lot!! Take care and hope u did enjoy the times we've spent together!! Always on our minds k!! *Sob sob sob sob sob sob* Went home soon afterwards after eating fantastic chicken at Popeye's.. Jose was coming over to stay for the nite.. Found out he lost his wallet, which was kinda shitty.. I know the feelin jose.. I know it too well.. Anw, we stayed up till quite late, playing gunbound and chatting away.. Read some mags too..

Day 8:
Friday, Dec 3, went out with jose in search of some shoes and ties for my prom.. Couldn't really find any shoes, cos they were so expensive, and din get any ties cos I wasn't sure if it was fitting for my suit.. Shall buy it on sat or sunday.. Before tt, we actualli met eufai to pass him his EZ Link card which jose borrowed.. Soon after, jose had to leave.. I lingered in Heeren a bit more, and later joined weily and krishna at kinokuniya.. The comics there were sold at a cheaper price, so i went ahead to buy some.. ^^ Anw, I found out krish is leaving singapore too.. Heading to germany to study.. Man, another fren leaving.. I was sad again, but as always, I tried to enjoy the time I was given.. Altho I've known him for about a month, it was really fun!! He really is a great guy.. So we lingered arouund and drank at coffee bean and tea leaf.. Talked a bit more, and met everyone at Fish & Co glasshouse at dhoby ghaut.. Everyone meaning me, weily, krish, samuel, ben and a guy named alvin, who I juz got to know only tt day.. (They were all Marists btw.. Cool!!) Krish treated us to fish and co, and I ordered Corriander Catch.. Nice as usual, but when I saw the Fish & Chips, omg, wad the hell?!?! It was big.. It really is, the best Fish & Chips in town!! At the end of eating our dishes, samuel ordered half a dozen raw oysters.. We each ate one, and alvin, who intially was reluctant, did it in the end.. Hahaz.. Funny expression, but thx for being a good sport!! I suggested tt before eating, we toast by saying,"For diarrhoea!!" Hahaz.. Oysters do give u diarrhoea if u eat too much.. We played chong qing ni ma, and the loser had to drink the ooze of the oyster, with lemon.. Somehow, Krishna was it!! Hahaz.. He was a good sport, and drank it down.. *gulp* We took video of him doing tt of course.. Hahaz.. After tt, went to play pool at meridien hotel.. I played with krish first, and won.. Hahaz.. Guess the pool drive is still in me.. I finally said my goodbye to krish, having had to leave early to meet joanna.. Said the goodbyes to the guys, and left for citylink nooch.. Lucky I arrived earlier, or I'd missed her.. It was actually a surprise visit, but I msged her anw, and waited outside nooch.. Well, I was just in time I guess.. Hahaz.. Met up with her, and we went to search for my shoe and tie again.. She suggested the Bata at some shop near Funan.. We went ahead, but the place was closed.. -_- We were both hungry, so we went to the Kopitiam near dhoby ghaut.. The chicken rice there was ok, and joanna took carrot cake.. But the highlight of the day was Milk Ice Mango!! Whoa, nice!! ^^ (Thx for introducing me..) It costs 2.20, and u guys shud try it too.. So after chatting the whole night, and taking NEL towards Harbourfront and back due to our tired legs, we walked back to her place first.. It was really late, so safety first.. Talking the night away, I learned new things about her.. *meow meow* Hee.. *winks* It's amazing wad six years of absence can do for a fren.. =P (Hope you're feeling better now.. Juz hope my visit did help u.. Take care hor..)

Day 9:
Saturday, Dec 4, stayed at home most of the day except noon.. Left for compass point to get my shoes with my mum.. Woot!! One worry out of the way.. Now all I've gotta do is get the tie.. I'm gonna get it tmr!! Do or die, muz!! My mum bought sushi, so hee, highlight of the day.. I really do have a weakness for sushi!! Went to rest after tt.. I've never been so tired..

Ok, so tt sums up the past days since the end of A's.. Whoa, glad u finally made it to the end eh?? Hee, congrats!! Sorry ar, so much to write about, but it's something I wanna remember for the rest of my life.. Share my joy everyone!! To all the people I've been during these past few days, thx so much for all the fun!! It was fun, funny, exciting, amazing, awesome, blahz blahz.. I'm so tired rite now doin this log, and my hands are getting painful from all this typing.. It is now 4.30, and I've typed for 3 hours straight!! Argh!! It's worth it anw, so hope u guys enjoyed it.. To NYJC peeps, I'm gonna miss u lots.. To everyone else, I am still gonna miss you lots too.. Hahaz.. Ok, I'm at my limit.. Going out tmr to meet weily to check out the hotel rooms for the prom.. Hope I get to book one.. ^^ Ok, nitez everyone.. Good morning too since it's close by.. Hee.. Ciao and take care!!~

Seeing Something Different?

2004-11-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hello guys.. Noticed something different?? =) Kinda liked this skin, so I changed it to this.. The old one was a tad too bright and plain, and I felt it didn't really reflect who I am.. I am actualli a little bit of a dark and mysterious person.. Okok, I also like dark colours la.. Hey, I'm saving you from more myopia problems k!! Too much brightness from your monitor screen is a definite nono!! Oh, yet again, thx weilien for patching up the skin.. Well, I went to his house today cos I wanted to run away from home.. Today my mom is doing an open house for my relatives and others, so I didn't want to be there mingling with em.. It's not that I hate them or anything, but there are times when you juz wanna be alone and far away from people you know.. So yeah, that's how I ended up in Weilien's house instead.. But it was fun!! We played "3x5"!! Man, I juz can't get enough of that song, and so can't he.. Heh heh.. We fooled around with the computer the whole day.. Didn't get much studying done.. >.< Well, I do have more time to make it up for, so I guess it's ok for today.. Oh, his mom is a wonderful cook!! I juz feel more pai seh cos this is the third time she gave me food.. Hahaz.. I was hiding under weilien's blankie to hide my face from his mom.. Really la, I felt bad!! Thx anyways!!

Chem MCQ was not easy at all.. In fact, it was the hardest paper I ever had!! There were so many unusual questions, and requires a lot of careful thinking.. I wasn't confident with the answers for most of it, so I kinda felt depressed a bit.. I guess this is what I get for not studying the whole of yesterday.. Speaking of tt, physics was not so bad.. I think it was ok except for the last question of Paper 2.. Hmm, somehow, it was rather confusing.. A lot of the people I talked to thought so too.. Oh well, if that's the case, too bad for me..

After Physics, me and jose met up and went to town to search for our prom suits.. Man, we stretched all the way from Orchard to Bugis.. Gotta say that most of the prom suits for guys are starkly similar.. Well, we're guys I guess.. But it looks kinda cool with all the blazers and stuff.. I wanna get me one of those!! Saw some good ones at Orchard Point, so I guess I'll be back there again if I can't find any in other places.. At the same time, I happened to pass by Citylink to look out for my primary school fren who I've not seen for 6 long years.. Felt kinda disappointed at first cos she wasn't there, but found out she was at bugis.. That was our final destination, so upon reaching there, hahaz, surprise surprise, I finally saw her and we talked in NoochX.. I was kinda surprised in the way she looks now.. I dunno, something's different about her now.. And she's not as short as I tot she would be.. Wanted to suan her!! Argh, failed!! =P Anw, she treated us to some drinks, for free!! (Wow, really, thx a lot!! It was nice and you couldn't have offered us at a better time.. I was really thirsty from a day of scouting!! ^^) So talking to her, it was fun.. We were our normal lame selves.. I made a bet with her that if I see her, I'd treat her Sakae Sushi for tt day, cos she was going for the buffet with her friends.. Heh, she showed mercy on me and let me go.. Heh heh.. Thx!! It's really fun meeting someone from your past again.. We'll meet again, I'm sure.. I know I got lotsa plans after A's!! Can't wait!!

I oso met another primary school fren of mine after Chem MCQ.. Wah, deja vu all over!! It was Lok Miao Teng, my "daughter" from primary school.. She was the one who sat beside me.. Last time, we were arranged in a row of 3, and I was in the middle.. She and Joyce sat beside me.. We were always playing the poking game with each other.. Hahaz.. If any of us slouch, the person next to you will tickle u by poking ur waist.. Effective man!! I got a double dose cos both of em did me at the same time.. I always get poked the most!! Walao!! But maybe tt explains my good posture?? Hahaz.. But it was fun remeniscing your childhood.. Oh, Joyce was my wife at that time, but now it seems she's got a bf, so I'm told by Miao Teng.. (Heh, good for u!! Tho I haven't seen ya since the srjc days, hope you've been doin fine!!) Oh, I wanna say hi to Huay Ning who was there too.. It was nice meeting you.. ^^

I'm teaching Liz how to play guitar after A's, and I think it'll be fun.. As long it's about guitar, I'm passionate about it!! She and her frenz, Jeannie and Pui Ning (?), mistook my ear mole as an ear hole.. Hahaz.. Not surprised, a lof of people think tt way.. Hopefully I can let u master the guitar in that short period of time.. I am going to NS by 8th January ya know.. ^^

Cleaning my room is the hardest thing I can ever do.. It's been a mess since forever, but after the last chem paper, I decided to give it a go.. Hahaz.. I din know I had TT much space in my room.. (U can imagine how messy it is.. =P) Well, I did it partly cos I saw a roach in my room recently.. It's freaky man!! I dunno if it's still here.. Argh!! After that, I went for a jog at the nearby park.. It was refreshing, and I was amused at how weak I am rite now compared to the old me.. Must get back that fitness.. I just hate being weak!! Walked down memory lane around my neighbourhood.. It's the route me and sy always walked when we got time to spare.. We'd talk about everything under the stars.. Really missed those times.. After A's, maybe we'll get to do tt again.. I got a few surprises up my sleeves for ya!!

Well, eventful days.. Freedom is in close grasp, so I'm looking forward to that.. Somehow, I feel post A's will be awesome!! Hope to cya guys and catch up to ya guys during that time.. For now, back to the den of the studious..

3x5

2004-11-16T17:51:00.000+08:00

"3X5"

I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter probably got excited,
But there's nothing else inside it

Ddn't have a camera by my side this time
Hping I would see the world with both my eyes
Mybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way with words

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
Are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
Just no more 3x5's

Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame
Tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
Just no more 3x5's
No more 3x5's

(A song by John Mayer.. He rocks!! I've learnt how to play it and it rocks!! Everything about him rocks!! 3x5 is actually another term for a photo btw.. Cheers to John Mayer!!)

R.I.P. Math, Hello Spidey!!

2004-11-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

Today finally marked the death of Math for my whole NYJC life.. Can't believe everything's going so fast right now, but I'm glad it's over.. That makes one more small step to freedom I guess.. Can't wait for my holidays to come, yet I can't enjoy it if I don't make a good effort on the A Levels.. You know, tt sense of guilt that you never did this or did that during that time.. I don't want that to happen, and bug me for the rest of my life after A Levels till the results are released.. I wanna please myself, as well as live up to the high expectations people placed on me.. I am one of the eldest in my family group, so I have to set the standards right.. It's tough, but that's life I guess.. It's not that it's fated this way.. I've juz chosen this responsibility..

Anyway, about the Math Paper 2.. If you look at it, this paper was not really all that difficult, save for question 27 and the CRV question before that.. Man, I know I just suck at CRV, and I was hoping it will come out as an optional question.. Well, too bad for me it didn't.. So I tried my hardest for the CRV question, only to find out tt I had misread the question after the paper.. I must really be tired cos I din noticed they were asking for E(root square X).. Wad the hell man.. -_- Anw, I didn't placed too much hopes on it tho, so I did tedious checks on the other questions to make sure they're top notch.. Hope I did my checks well.. I was close to panic mode at the beginning of the paper.. I looked at the first question, and man, I was really stuck.. It seemed so easy, yet I couldn't think.. Not trying to waste too much time on that, I moved on to the next question and started to get my pace.. I was enjoying it in the end, as I remembered how much I loved math, right from primary school.. It was always my strong point.. So yeah, finishing the paper ahead of time, I managed to think through carefully over the first question and finally cracked it.. Making final checks, calculation mistakes, handwriting, workings, I finally eased myself when the time was up.. Just in time.. The fact that I didn't feel all that lost after the paper was a good sign.. Hope it IS a good sign.. ^^ So rest in peace my dear math counterpart.. It's been fun.. Muahahahahaz!!

I went to school yesterday.. I was there to study, cos I don't really put too much trust in me studying at home.. Firstly, my room is in an aboslute mess and there's practically no space for me to study.. Secondly, even if it did, my chair is shit-inducing.. I dunno how, but I tend to shit at a remarkable rate juz sitting on it for long.. (Damn, I have tt feeling right now cos I'm sitting on it now.. -_-) Third, just like everyone else, it's too comfy at home.. Really, I can slack more than a sloth at home.. I'd make an embarassment of them.. Hahaz.. Anyway, I found out that Weilien and co were there too.. So bags packed, I set out to the land of brownies..

It was really fun hanging out with the guys again, even though I have known them through a short period save for Weilien.. I know I know, I'm SO unlucky.. Hahaz.. =P Anyway, the other peeps there were Krishna, Ben and Samuel.. They're all Marists, and I got a taste of what's life like in Maris Stella.. I bet I must have been damn fun.. Sure wished I could experience it, but Zhonghua is not tt bad either.. I've found great friends and someone special from there.. It's wonderful!! The whole lot of them wanted to do a math paper, but the photocopy machine was out cold at the canteen.. So we started thinking of going to the 3rd floor to photocopy the papers.. The only problem is, you have to risk your life climbing over a big gap between the staircase and the ledge across it.. It was really damn freaky scary, cos it's really a deep plunge if you fall.. Yet, it gave me an excited feeling, cos I always liked adventures.. In a way, I was motivated by the Spiderman of CJC, where a guy was able to climb from the 1st to the top floor by using the side railings of something like that.. I gotta tell you, it was amazing just watching the video.. =P (Thx Krishna's fren for showing me..) Me and Samuel managed to find a plank to link the gap, but it was of no use in the end.. I placed it there, and din even land a step on it.. Hahaz.. But still, it was scary.. Triumphant on the crossover, I was really glad.. One, for being alive, and two, overcoming that fear of looming death.. It was like wad Weilien and Samuel said.. It's Fear Factor, without the ropes and safety devices.. You're damn right!! Photocopied the papers I did, and I managed to climb back over faster this time round.. Thx guys for helping me out for this.. But I'd sure kill you if the photocopy machine at that level din work.. Hahaz.. I am one step closer to becoming Spiderman, one of my favourite characters.. Hahaz.. (Here lil radioactive spidey.. My hand is juicy.. BITE ME!!) Ahem, let me take this chance to say wise words from a fictional man.. "With great power comes great responsibility.." =P

Oh yeah, I finally went to CJC a few days back.. That was really fun, cos for the first time, I managed to see wad CJC is really all about.. It was nice, and the facilities were not bad either.. Of course, I din went there to juz go sight-seeing.. Went there to study!! The canteen was surprisingly small tho.. I wonder how that many people fit inside?? Maybe that's why girls there are a bit slimmer?? Hahaz.. Anyway, Krishna showed us his classroom.. Basically, it was a wreckage.. Hahaz.. Vandalised tables and chairs, punctured noticeboards and projector screen, even the ceiling and fans was not spared!! It was in terrible condition.. I was told they have to pay for replacements for that room.. Hahaz.. Crazy people, but that's what makes life fun.. Live the way you want to!!

Krishna had told us about his last day at school.. They took their tables, tied em up into one row, and slid down a slope... They call it the Apollo.. Hahaz.. Wow, it sure looked fun from his video camera.. That explains why some of the tables are in terrible condition.. It really was awesome!!

Well, I better be going now.. Another day, another paper.. Ok, tt day is tmr, so I really have to make final touches.. I just woke up from a very deep sleep after the Math paper, so with renewed vigour, onwards with my escapades with A Levels!! Cheerios guys!! Keep the smiles up and dun give in!!

Pardon Me

2004-11-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

Pardon Me

A decade ago
I never thought I would be
At twenty three
On the verge of spontaneous combustion
Woe-is-me
But I guess that it comes
With the territory
An ominous landscape of never ending calamity
I need you to hear
I need you to see
That I have had all I can take
And exploding seems like
A definite possibility to me

So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world
And it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn
And rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me
I'll never be the same

Not two days ago
I was having a look
In a book and I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees
I said, "I can relate," Cause' lately
I've been thinking of combustication as a welcomed vacation from
The burdens of the planet earth
Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D
And thinking so much differently

So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world
And it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn
And rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me
I'll never be the same

(One of my fav songs on guitar and on lyrics.. Incubus rock!!)

9233 Fever

2004-11-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

Mathematics can be a fun thing to do, if you know your formulas well.. It's like completing an almost completed jigsaw puzzle, where u need tt one last piece to fit into that final spot.. The only obstacle to that is finding the piece itself.. Once you've found it, the rest is smooth sailing.. That's how I felt for the Math paper yesterday.. I must say tt this paper was by far one of the weirdest I've come through yet, but tt's not gonna stop me from my 3 As dream.. I've thought hard for every question, and I get this rewarding feeling when I've finally found that jigsaw piece to complete the puzzle for each question.. There were 15 jigsaw pieces to lift, and I managed to do just tt for at least 13 of them confidently.. Still, tt looming feeling of uncertainty drags me down the sewer.. I don't wish to bo overcondifent, but I'm juz glad tt I did everything tt I could to do the paper.. I'm satisfied, so hope the satisfaction boomerangs back..

I was very irritated that I forgot to bring my liquid paper.. Man, liquid papers are a must in Math exams.. Sure, you can cancel with those lines or curvy wurvy waves, but I'm just a neat freak.. I like my answers clean and presentable thank you.. Courtesy for the marker so tt his eyeballs won't leap out if he sees an "impossible" answer sheet.. Anw, so there I was, like playing a PS2 game which says sudden death.. 1 mistake and you're dead mister.. I took every question seriously, not writing a single mistake except for 1, which really pissed me off cos I had to re-write the whole answer again, and tt took quite some time.. Din deter me much tho, so everything else was kind of smooth sailing for me except the last question.. I did the vectors question.. Although I'm not really an ace at it, it's better than hanging yourself with the Differential Equation shit.. Seriously, those types of questions give me the headaches..

I realize tt I am like a zombie after exam papers.. I juz can't bring myself to think anymore.. Well, this is the A levels.. Mental draining sure beats the crap out of you.. I bet I got lotsa bruises in my brain rite now.. But during tt exam, I was still sick, and getting even more so as time went past.. Struggled with fever throughout, with flu by its side plus coughing.. Haiz.. Well, made it through, and tt's wad matters..

You know, I get this feeling that computers suck the life right out of you.. You stare at the monitors for hours, entranced by whatever you're doing now, be it games or surfing.. At the end of it, you'll feel a bit stupified, and can't really remember things straight.. The days when I wasn't reliant on computers was the time I was mostly like myself.. Now, I can't really remember much of my past.. Too much time on computers I guess.. It'll come back to me, in a snail's pace.. Well, as long as it comes back!! So a word of advice peeps.. Dun stare too long into the comp.. It's really bad, trust me..

Today my fren Darryl is going to Turkey.. Funny thing is tt he msged me out of nowhere to say he's gg, which I din know to where until the today itself.. (It made me think of a suicidal msg.. U know, tt farewell to life thingy.. CHOY!!) Well, wishing you all the best over there.. Enjoy the overseas trip man, away from the Orchard and Somersets, the boring places we see every living days of our repeated lives.. Nevertheless, there's always the good and bad side of things.. I nv forget tt.. ^^

Am gonna rest now.. Gonna stock up for tmr's studying schedule.. Gonna climb from the bottom of the alphabets to the top.. Z to A baby!! Nitez all..

Life's Big Storybook

2004-11-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

I've been into the depths of my thoughts again, thx to some piano songs from Spirited Away.. (It rox btw.. ^^) Hmm, classical songs makes me think a lot, especially due to the fact that it's calm, relaxing, peaceful.. Just like those midnight walks I sometimes have.. I juz love tt feeling, all alone, with no boundaries between you and the glimmering sky, with the cooling breeze and quiet roads.. I've thought about a lot of things in my life.. Happy thoughts, sad moments, angry times, depressing feelings, doubts, more.. All these are always imprisoned in me.. There are a lot of things people don't know about me, and I'm fine with tt.. There are sometimes too many painful memories to brush away or to share.. But I'll always rmb all those moments, cos it's wad made me into wad I am today, and will continue to shape me in the future.. Right now, I'm thinking about life..

Sometimes I wonder what it means to be alive.. Sure, I'm breathing, I lead a normal school life, but there's always this feeling tt something's amiss.. I just can feel it.. I sometimes wonder the complexities of religions to explain life.. There are many ways you can perceive life if you look at every religion.. Some say it's a preliminary stage to the next life.. Some say it's a test of your soul.. Some say it's a test of faith.. Some say.. .. .. There's just a lot of sayings, but still, it doesn't really solve anything for me.. All we can do is just stick to one belief and believe it!! I have nothing against religion, and I truly respect them.. But I'm just not into any religion.. All this while, I've been living thru the ups, downs, lefts, rights, diagonals, of my life on my own.. I didn't really asked for any help.. All I want to know, is tt I am in control of my own life, and not some other higher power tt's already set down a path for me, like a storybook.. I just don't get it.. If my mum said God created people the way he wanted to, then, I must still ask why I'm even thinking this out loud.. Why I'm different from others in terms of faith.. It's just me I guess, and I'll always believe in the only thing I can believe, myself.. Not trying sound like a proud man, but, the belief that I can do everything on my own without some inexplainable miracles or "coincidences" makes me feel better.. Just doing things with my own power.. Tt's what I've always believed in.. I've always wanted to make ppl happy, no matter how sad it would make me, no matter how much it would drain me in the end.. I just want to use my little light to shine it onto others, to bring that glimmer in life, all on my own.. Tt's been my greatest dream, since very young, cos of a depressing event in the past.. It's made me stronger, and I'll continue to grow from it..

I imagine tt everyone's life is like their own storybook.. It's something that will continue to write and remain written.. Nothing will be erased, like it or not, in that permanent ink of life.. There are no rules, no boundaries, and it's all up to you to complete that story with a happy ending, a mediocre life, a tragedy.. It's your story, you choose.. As for me, I've already penned down what I want in this life, and it includes all the precious friends I've met.. I'm grateful for everything, and this vibrant colour of feelings will decorate my story.. I hope to create a happy ending to everything, and everyone.. Maybe someday, I shall open the doors to my previous pages.. Maybe.. Someday..

Depressing, but lifting.. I do think a lot, and sometimes, it's a very heavy thing.. But it's my strong point I guess.. Sometimes it's just good to let it all out.. ^^ Gonna sleep and turn over a new page to write over.. Nitez everyone.. Hope we all get a happy ending..

Sawed Throat

2004-11-06T18:07:00.000+08:00

I'm back baby!! Well, to full healthy goodness tt is.. I had to ordeal more than just a sore throat after the last journal.. Soon after tt, my temp picked up and I had a runny nose.. It rose further and eventually, like a dastardly trio of villains, fever came in too.. Haiz, wad can I say, these three have been a band of brothers in all my previous holidays.. Anyway, it was so so hot, I had to see a doctor in the morning.. Tt din help at first, and my agony stretched all the way till night time.. I was still so hot then, with a runny nose and sore throat which makes it even worse.. Eventually, I asked my mum to cover me with a towel full of ice water.. Aah, tt's refreshing, and after eating some other strong medicines, it subsided a bit.. Well, now, I'm back to full health.. Felling great!! Back to studying tho.. *sob sob*

Today is Mr John Lim's most joyous day.. He's getting married today, and most of the soccer guys are there rite now I think.. Man, I wanna go, but I gotta catch up on lost time for studying.. Hope he's having a hell of a time.. I'm still wondering who his wife is.. Shall force the truth out of him after A's..

I have this lil plan of giving all my teachers Wang Wang milk drink before A's end.. U know, those lil red cans with sweet tasty milky goodness with a logo of a kid with his arms up.. Yup, the best drink around!! I am officially head of my Wang Wang Club.. Gonna recruit more members.. Onli got xr now.. So come, dun be shy, join the Wang Wang Club!! All u need is just to love Wang Wang!! Muahahaz..

Ok, back to studying.. I guess tt's enough for today.. Ciao peeps!!