Saturday, November 20, 2004

Seeing Something Different?

Hello guys.. Noticed something different?? =) Kinda liked this skin, so I changed it to this.. The old one was a tad too bright and plain, and I felt it didn't really reflect who I am.. I am actualli a little bit of a dark and mysterious person.. Okok, I also like dark colours la.. Hey, I'm saving you from more myopia problems k!! Too much brightness from your monitor screen is a definite nono!! Oh, yet again, thx weilien for patching up the skin.. Well, I went to his house today cos I wanted to run away from home.. Today my mom is doing an open house for my relatives and others, so I didn't want to be there mingling with em.. It's not that I hate them or anything, but there are times when you juz wanna be alone and far away from people you know.. So yeah, that's how I ended up in Weilien's house instead.. But it was fun!! We played "3x5"!! Man, I juz can't get enough of that song, and so can't he.. Heh heh.. We fooled around with the computer the whole day.. Didn't get much studying done.. >.< Well, I do have more time to make it up for, so I guess it's ok for today.. Oh, his mom is a wonderful cook!! I juz feel more pai seh cos this is the third time she gave me food.. Hahaz.. I was hiding under weilien's blankie to hide my face from his mom.. Really la, I felt bad!! Thx anyways!!

Chem MCQ was not easy at all.. In fact, it was the hardest paper I ever had!! There were so many unusual questions, and requires a lot of careful thinking.. I wasn't confident with the answers for most of it, so I kinda felt depressed a bit.. I guess this is what I get for not studying the whole of yesterday.. Speaking of tt, physics was not so bad.. I think it was ok except for the last question of Paper 2.. Hmm, somehow, it was rather confusing.. A lot of the people I talked to thought so too.. Oh well, if that's the case, too bad for me..

After Physics, me and jose met up and went to town to search for our prom suits.. Man, we stretched all the way from Orchard to Bugis.. Gotta say that most of the prom suits for guys are starkly similar.. Well, we're guys I guess.. But it looks kinda cool with all the blazers and stuff.. I wanna get me one of those!! Saw some good ones at Orchard Point, so I guess I'll be back there again if I can't find any in other places.. At the same time, I happened to pass by Citylink to look out for my primary school fren who I've not seen for 6 long years.. Felt kinda disappointed at first cos she wasn't there, but found out she was at bugis.. That was our final destination, so upon reaching there, hahaz, surprise surprise, I finally saw her and we talked in NoochX.. I was kinda surprised in the way she looks now.. I dunno, something's different about her now.. And she's not as short as I tot she would be.. Wanted to suan her!! Argh, failed!! =P Anw, she treated us to some drinks, for free!! (Wow, really, thx a lot!! It was nice and you couldn't have offered us at a better time.. I was really thirsty from a day of scouting!! ^^) So talking to her, it was fun.. We were our normal lame selves.. I made a bet with her that if I see her, I'd treat her Sakae Sushi for tt day, cos she was going for the buffet with her friends.. Heh, she showed mercy on me and let me go.. Heh heh.. Thx!! It's really fun meeting someone from your past again.. We'll meet again, I'm sure.. I know I got lotsa plans after A's!! Can't wait!!

I oso met another primary school fren of mine after Chem MCQ.. Wah, deja vu all over!! It was Lok Miao Teng, my "daughter" from primary school.. She was the one who sat beside me.. Last time, we were arranged in a row of 3, and I was in the middle.. She and Joyce sat beside me.. We were always playing the poking game with each other.. Hahaz.. If any of us slouch, the person next to you will tickle u by poking ur waist.. Effective man!! I got a double dose cos both of em did me at the same time.. I always get poked the most!! Walao!! But maybe tt explains my good posture?? Hahaz.. But it was fun remeniscing your childhood.. Oh, Joyce was my wife at that time, but now it seems she's got a bf, so I'm told by Miao Teng.. (Heh, good for u!! Tho I haven't seen ya since the srjc days, hope you've been doin fine!!) Oh, I wanna say hi to Huay Ning who was there too.. It was nice meeting you.. ^^

I'm teaching Liz how to play guitar after A's, and I think it'll be fun.. As long it's about guitar, I'm passionate about it!! She and her frenz, Jeannie and Pui Ning (?), mistook my ear mole as an ear hole.. Hahaz.. Not surprised, a lof of people think tt way.. Hopefully I can let u master the guitar in that short period of time.. I am going to NS by 8th January ya know.. ^^

Cleaning my room is the hardest thing I can ever do.. It's been a mess since forever, but after the last chem paper, I decided to give it a go.. Hahaz.. I din know I had TT much space in my room.. (U can imagine how messy it is.. =P) Well, I did it partly cos I saw a roach in my room recently.. It's freaky man!! I dunno if it's still here.. Argh!! After that, I went for a jog at the nearby park.. It was refreshing, and I was amused at how weak I am rite now compared to the old me.. Must get back that fitness.. I just hate being weak!! Walked down memory lane around my neighbourhood.. It's the route me and sy always walked when we got time to spare.. We'd talk about everything under the stars.. Really missed those times.. After A's, maybe we'll get to do tt again.. I got a few surprises up my sleeves for ya!!

Well, eventful days.. Freedom is in close grasp, so I'm looking forward to that.. Somehow, I feel post A's will be awesome!! Hope to cya guys and catch up to ya guys during that time.. For now, back to the den of the studious..

11:55 PM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

3x5

"3X5"

I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter probably got excited,
But there's nothing else inside it

Ddn't have a camera by my side this time
Hping I would see the world with both my eyes
Mybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way with words

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
Are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
Just no more 3x5's

Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame
Tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood
To lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
Just no more 3x5's
No more 3x5's

(A song by John Mayer.. He rocks!! I've learnt how to play it and it rocks!! Everything about him rocks!! 3x5 is actually another term for a photo btw.. Cheers to John Mayer!!)

5:51 PM

R.I.P. Math, Hello Spidey!!

Today finally marked the death of Math for my whole NYJC life.. Can't believe everything's going so fast right now, but I'm glad it's over.. That makes one more small step to freedom I guess.. Can't wait for my holidays to come, yet I can't enjoy it if I don't make a good effort on the A Levels.. You know, tt sense of guilt that you never did this or did that during that time.. I don't want that to happen, and bug me for the rest of my life after A Levels till the results are released.. I wanna please myself, as well as live up to the high expectations people placed on me.. I am one of the eldest in my family group, so I have to set the standards right.. It's tough, but that's life I guess.. It's not that it's fated this way.. I've juz chosen this responsibility..

Anyway, about the Math Paper 2.. If you look at it, this paper was not really all that difficult, save for question 27 and the CRV question before that.. Man, I know I just suck at CRV, and I was hoping it will come out as an optional question.. Well, too bad for me it didn't.. So I tried my hardest for the CRV question, only to find out tt I had misread the question after the paper.. I must really be tired cos I din noticed they were asking for E(root square X).. Wad the hell man.. -_- Anw, I didn't placed too much hopes on it tho, so I did tedious checks on the other questions to make sure they're top notch.. Hope I did my checks well.. I was close to panic mode at the beginning of the paper.. I looked at the first question, and man, I was really stuck.. It seemed so easy, yet I couldn't think.. Not trying to waste too much time on that, I moved on to the next question and started to get my pace.. I was enjoying it in the end, as I remembered how much I loved math, right from primary school.. It was always my strong point.. So yeah, finishing the paper ahead of time, I managed to think through carefully over the first question and finally cracked it.. Making final checks, calculation mistakes, handwriting, workings, I finally eased myself when the time was up.. Just in time.. The fact that I didn't feel all that lost after the paper was a good sign.. Hope it IS a good sign.. ^^ So rest in peace my dear math counterpart.. It's been fun.. Muahahahahaz!!

I went to school yesterday.. I was there to study, cos I don't really put too much trust in me studying at home.. Firstly, my room is in an aboslute mess and there's practically no space for me to study.. Secondly, even if it did, my chair is shit-inducing.. I dunno how, but I tend to shit at a remarkable rate juz sitting on it for long.. (Damn, I have tt feeling right now cos I'm sitting on it now.. -_-) Third, just like everyone else, it's too comfy at home.. Really, I can slack more than a sloth at home.. I'd make an embarassment of them.. Hahaz.. Anyway, I found out that Weilien and co were there too.. So bags packed, I set out to the land of brownies..

It was really fun hanging out with the guys again, even though I have known them through a short period save for Weilien.. I know I know, I'm SO unlucky.. Hahaz.. =P Anyway, the other peeps there were Krishna, Ben and Samuel.. They're all Marists, and I got a taste of what's life like in Maris Stella.. I bet I must have been damn fun.. Sure wished I could experience it, but Zhonghua is not tt bad either.. I've found great friends and someone special from there.. It's wonderful!! The whole lot of them wanted to do a math paper, but the photocopy machine was out cold at the canteen.. So we started thinking of going to the 3rd floor to photocopy the papers.. The only problem is, you have to risk your life climbing over a big gap between the staircase and the ledge across it.. It was really damn freaky scary, cos it's really a deep plunge if you fall.. Yet, it gave me an excited feeling, cos I always liked adventures.. In a way, I was motivated by the Spiderman of CJC, where a guy was able to climb from the 1st to the top floor by using the side railings of something like that.. I gotta tell you, it was amazing just watching the video.. =P (Thx Krishna's fren for showing me..) Me and Samuel managed to find a plank to link the gap, but it was of no use in the end.. I placed it there, and din even land a step on it.. Hahaz.. But still, it was scary.. Triumphant on the crossover, I was really glad.. One, for being alive, and two, overcoming that fear of looming death.. It was like wad Weilien and Samuel said.. It's Fear Factor, without the ropes and safety devices.. You're damn right!! Photocopied the papers I did, and I managed to climb back over faster this time round.. Thx guys for helping me out for this.. But I'd sure kill you if the photocopy machine at that level din work.. Hahaz.. I am one step closer to becoming Spiderman, one of my favourite characters.. Hahaz.. (Here lil radioactive spidey.. My hand is juicy.. BITE ME!!) Ahem, let me take this chance to say wise words from a fictional man.. "With great power comes great responsibility.." =P

Oh yeah, I finally went to CJC a few days back.. That was really fun, cos for the first time, I managed to see wad CJC is really all about.. It was nice, and the facilities were not bad either.. Of course, I din went there to juz go sight-seeing.. Went there to study!! The canteen was surprisingly small tho.. I wonder how that many people fit inside?? Maybe that's why girls there are a bit slimmer?? Hahaz.. Anyway, Krishna showed us his classroom.. Basically, it was a wreckage.. Hahaz.. Vandalised tables and chairs, punctured noticeboards and projector screen, even the ceiling and fans was not spared!! It was in terrible condition.. I was told they have to pay for replacements for that room.. Hahaz.. Crazy people, but that's what makes life fun.. Live the way you want to!!

Krishna had told us about his last day at school.. They took their tables, tied em up into one row, and slid down a slope... They call it the Apollo.. Hahaz.. Wow, it sure looked fun from his video camera.. That explains why some of the tables are in terrible condition.. It really was awesome!!

Well, I better be going now.. Another day, another paper.. Ok, tt day is tmr, so I really have to make final touches.. I just woke up from a very deep sleep after the Math paper, so with renewed vigour, onwards with my escapades with A Levels!! Cheerios guys!! Keep the smiles up and dun give in!!

4:52 PM

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Pardon Me

Pardon Me

A decade ago
I never thought I would be
At twenty three
On the verge of spontaneous combustion
Woe-is-me
But I guess that it comes
With the territory
An ominous landscape of never ending calamity
I need you to hear
I need you to see
That I have had all I can take
And exploding seems like
A definite possibility to me

So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world
And it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn
And rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me
I'll never be the same

Not two days ago
I was having a look
In a book and I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees
I said, "I can relate," Cause' lately
I've been thinking of combustication as a welcomed vacation from
The burdens of the planet earth
Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D
And thinking so much differently

So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world
And it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn
And rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me
I'll never be the same

(One of my fav songs on guitar and on lyrics.. Incubus rock!!)

11:30 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

9233 Fever

Mathematics can be a fun thing to do, if you know your formulas well.. It's like completing an almost completed jigsaw puzzle, where u need tt one last piece to fit into that final spot.. The only obstacle to that is finding the piece itself.. Once you've found it, the rest is smooth sailing.. That's how I felt for the Math paper yesterday.. I must say tt this paper was by far one of the weirdest I've come through yet, but tt's not gonna stop me from my 3 As dream.. I've thought hard for every question, and I get this rewarding feeling when I've finally found that jigsaw piece to complete the puzzle for each question.. There were 15 jigsaw pieces to lift, and I managed to do just tt for at least 13 of them confidently.. Still, tt looming feeling of uncertainty drags me down the sewer.. I don't wish to bo overcondifent, but I'm juz glad tt I did everything tt I could to do the paper.. I'm satisfied, so hope the satisfaction boomerangs back..

I was very irritated that I forgot to bring my liquid paper.. Man, liquid papers are a must in Math exams.. Sure, you can cancel with those lines or curvy wurvy waves, but I'm just a neat freak.. I like my answers clean and presentable thank you.. Courtesy for the marker so tt his eyeballs won't leap out if he sees an "impossible" answer sheet.. Anw, so there I was, like playing a PS2 game which says sudden death.. 1 mistake and you're dead mister.. I took every question seriously, not writing a single mistake except for 1, which really pissed me off cos I had to re-write the whole answer again, and tt took quite some time.. Din deter me much tho, so everything else was kind of smooth sailing for me except the last question.. I did the vectors question.. Although I'm not really an ace at it, it's better than hanging yourself with the Differential Equation shit.. Seriously, those types of questions give me the headaches..

I realize tt I am like a zombie after exam papers.. I juz can't bring myself to think anymore.. Well, this is the A levels.. Mental draining sure beats the crap out of you.. I bet I got lotsa bruises in my brain rite now.. But during tt exam, I was still sick, and getting even more so as time went past.. Struggled with fever throughout, with flu by its side plus coughing.. Haiz.. Well, made it through, and tt's wad matters..

You know, I get this feeling that computers suck the life right out of you.. You stare at the monitors for hours, entranced by whatever you're doing now, be it games or surfing.. At the end of it, you'll feel a bit stupified, and can't really remember things straight.. The days when I wasn't reliant on computers was the time I was mostly like myself.. Now, I can't really remember much of my past.. Too much time on computers I guess.. It'll come back to me, in a snail's pace.. Well, as long as it comes back!! So a word of advice peeps.. Dun stare too long into the comp.. It's really bad, trust me..

Today my fren Darryl is going to Turkey.. Funny thing is tt he msged me out of nowhere to say he's gg, which I din know to where until the today itself.. (It made me think of a suicidal msg.. U know, tt farewell to life thingy.. CHOY!!) Well, wishing you all the best over there.. Enjoy the overseas trip man, away from the Orchard and Somersets, the boring places we see every living days of our repeated lives.. Nevertheless, there's always the good and bad side of things.. I nv forget tt.. ^^

Am gonna rest now.. Gonna stock up for tmr's studying schedule.. Gonna climb from the bottom of the alphabets to the top.. Z to A baby!! Nitez all..

11:19 PM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Life's Big Storybook

I've been into the depths of my thoughts again, thx to some piano songs from Spirited Away.. (It rox btw.. ^^) Hmm, classical songs makes me think a lot, especially due to the fact that it's calm, relaxing, peaceful.. Just like those midnight walks I sometimes have.. I juz love tt feeling, all alone, with no boundaries between you and the glimmering sky, with the cooling breeze and quiet roads.. I've thought about a lot of things in my life.. Happy thoughts, sad moments, angry times, depressing feelings, doubts, more.. All these are always imprisoned in me.. There are a lot of things people don't know about me, and I'm fine with tt.. There are sometimes too many painful memories to brush away or to share.. But I'll always rmb all those moments, cos it's wad made me into wad I am today, and will continue to shape me in the future.. Right now, I'm thinking about life..

Sometimes I wonder what it means to be alive.. Sure, I'm breathing, I lead a normal school life, but there's always this feeling tt something's amiss.. I just can feel it.. I sometimes wonder the complexities of religions to explain life.. There are many ways you can perceive life if you look at every religion.. Some say it's a preliminary stage to the next life.. Some say it's a test of your soul.. Some say it's a test of faith.. Some say.. .. .. There's just a lot of sayings, but still, it doesn't really solve anything for me.. All we can do is just stick to one belief and believe it!! I have nothing against religion, and I truly respect them.. But I'm just not into any religion.. All this while, I've been living thru the ups, downs, lefts, rights, diagonals, of my life on my own.. I didn't really asked for any help.. All I want to know, is tt I am in control of my own life, and not some other higher power tt's already set down a path for me, like a storybook.. I just don't get it.. If my mum said God created people the way he wanted to, then, I must still ask why I'm even thinking this out loud.. Why I'm different from others in terms of faith.. It's just me I guess, and I'll always believe in the only thing I can believe, myself.. Not trying sound like a proud man, but, the belief that I can do everything on my own without some inexplainable miracles or "coincidences" makes me feel better.. Just doing things with my own power.. Tt's what I've always believed in.. I've always wanted to make ppl happy, no matter how sad it would make me, no matter how much it would drain me in the end.. I just want to use my little light to shine it onto others, to bring that glimmer in life, all on my own.. Tt's been my greatest dream, since very young, cos of a depressing event in the past.. It's made me stronger, and I'll continue to grow from it..

I imagine tt everyone's life is like their own storybook.. It's something that will continue to write and remain written.. Nothing will be erased, like it or not, in that permanent ink of life.. There are no rules, no boundaries, and it's all up to you to complete that story with a happy ending, a mediocre life, a tragedy.. It's your story, you choose.. As for me, I've already penned down what I want in this life, and it includes all the precious friends I've met.. I'm grateful for everything, and this vibrant colour of feelings will decorate my story.. I hope to create a happy ending to everything, and everyone.. Maybe someday, I shall open the doors to my previous pages.. Maybe.. Someday..

Depressing, but lifting.. I do think a lot, and sometimes, it's a very heavy thing.. But it's my strong point I guess.. Sometimes it's just good to let it all out.. ^^ Gonna sleep and turn over a new page to write over.. Nitez everyone.. Hope we all get a happy ending..

11:00 PM

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Sawed Throat

I'm back baby!! Well, to full healthy goodness tt is.. I had to ordeal more than just a sore throat after the last journal.. Soon after tt, my temp picked up and I had a runny nose.. It rose further and eventually, like a dastardly trio of villains, fever came in too.. Haiz, wad can I say, these three have been a band of brothers in all my previous holidays.. Anyway, it was so so hot, I had to see a doctor in the morning.. Tt din help at first, and my agony stretched all the way till night time.. I was still so hot then, with a runny nose and sore throat which makes it even worse.. Eventually, I asked my mum to cover me with a towel full of ice water.. Aah, tt's refreshing, and after eating some other strong medicines, it subsided a bit.. Well, now, I'm back to full health.. Felling great!! Back to studying tho.. *sob sob*

Today is Mr John Lim's most joyous day.. He's getting married today, and most of the soccer guys are there rite now I think.. Man, I wanna go, but I gotta catch up on lost time for studying.. Hope he's having a hell of a time.. I'm still wondering who his wife is.. Shall force the truth out of him after A's..

I have this lil plan of giving all my teachers Wang Wang milk drink before A's end.. U know, those lil red cans with sweet tasty milky goodness with a logo of a kid with his arms up.. Yup, the best drink around!! I am officially head of my Wang Wang Club.. Gonna recruit more members.. Onli got xr now.. So come, dun be shy, join the Wang Wang Club!! All u need is just to love Wang Wang!! Muahahaz..

Ok, back to studying.. I guess tt's enough for today.. Ciao peeps!!

6:07 PM

Friday, November 05, 2004

Saw Throat

Today's gotta be one of the most irritating days of my lives.. If there's one things tt irritates me, it's being sick.. I recently caught this sore throat from out of nowhere and now I'm feeling all quimsy and all tt.. It's rather annoying, especially when you wanna find that quiet time to study.. It's distracting ya know, and I just hate that.. For me, I've always been sick at the wrong times.. Lemme see.. In almost every one of my holidays before, I've had fever, cough, sore throat, flu, just about any of the common bugs.. It seems as if I've set up a motel in for all these sickness thingies.. "iMad Motel!! Your dream holiday inn!! Book one room get one free!!" Just u wait u germs!! I'm gonna re-enact the 9/11 attacks on you!! Hah!! See who has the last laugh!! In the meantime, I'm weeping in pain and agony.. Hope it subsides soon..

First paper of A levels today.. GP.. I was a bit panic-stricken when it came to Paper 1, so I din think clearly.. Then, I started getting more nervous till I calmed down in abt 5 min.. Wasted so much time on tt!! Wasn't really happy with what I written.. It's not bad, but it's not good either.. I know had so much more potential in what I can write.. It's rather disappointing when you've not displayed your best masterpiece to the Cambridge marker.. I prefer my audiences to enjoy the scripts I offer, since I know they'll be marking thousands of the same kind of question.. If you need to know, I did the questions on waste. "How far is recycling the answer to the problem of waste?" Managed to psyche myself up for Paper 2, and I think I did fairly well, except for the AQ, which had a tough nut to crack.. Had 30 full minutes to think on what I need to write.. Sadly, I still felt my answer was a piece of crap.. Oh well, guess wad's done is done.. Shall compensate by doing extremely well for the other papers.. Well, not like I have a choice either.. It's do or die!!

Heard the phrase "What's in a name??" Familiar?? Well, tt comes from the Shakespearian masterpiece Romeo and Juliet, arguably one of the best plays ever written.. (I took Lit in sec school.. My fav subject, my worst result.. *Sob sob* If my results weren't so bad, I'd be in the Arts stream.. It's be so much fun!!) Juliet says tt wondering what is so arguably different about being called a Montague or a Capulet.. I think love is able to transcend beyond any boundaries, including this one.. It's a matter of willingness and determination to change.. But, forget tt.. The point is, what does your name really mean?? I found this site tt shows what mine is.. Maybe you'll be interested..

www.elite.net/~runner/jennifers/yourname.htm

For me, "Ahmad" means "more commendable" and "Iskandar" had some relation to Alexandra the great.. My mum used to tell me I was named after a great conqueror.. ^^ Well, you guys check your own too k.. Hmm, some of you may not be able to find your name in it though.. I shall find more sites if time allows it..

Hmm, tt's it for now.. Still battling this sore throat.. Makes me wanna get a saw and juz slice it off!! Argh!! Ok, ciao ppl.. Hope I can come back again to blog..