Saturday, February 04, 2006
The Pace I'm In
I can almost feel myself. That self-awareness that is often neglected or not realized. What is it that I can say that defines me. What is an Ahmad Iskandar who's from Singapore and lives in Hougang? How can I describe myself? Often, we take for granted that we always spend more time learning about others than ourselves. Well, enough neglection. The time for me is now. =)
Well, it's not like I'm desperate to know who I am. I've been living for almost 20 years now, and it's just conscience which plays on you. There are just days when you realise something and say, "Oh!", in conjunction to a realisation of something simple yet pleasing to know. Haven't you had those days before? I'm sure everyone has. I can't remember what my moments of that kind are, but I sure remembered feeling very stupid after that. Lol.
Hmmm, this is not really a profile about myself. More like, what I've learnt about myself.
I'm the kind of guy who loves to pace from place to place in a very "walk-down-the-aisle-cos-i'm-getting-married" speed. I don't like to rush for just about anything, unless I feel it's needed. I am the sort to go the extra mile to do things that won't trouble people, even if it tires me more and frustrates me in the end. I hardly question people's intentions for just about anything, unless it's so obvious that it needs to be question. I'm always taking the hard route unknowingly, but I won't regret taking it. I am always aware of time, and believes that everything runs in certain timings. I worry a lot, but for a good cause, and because I really care. I am shy, but I try to stand up for myself and try new things and say remarks that may not be entirely acceptable by the majority. And I'm very clueless on a lot of things, but I take extra effort in catching up by listening and picking up from there through self research and experience. I'm level-headed on a lot of things, and rarely bursts out in anger, and even if I do, it's justifiable. I live to entertain people by being the fool, but I'm in fact serious in nature, and only expresses that when the situation arises of if I feel that there's something wrong. I'm very willing, but I've learnt that sometimes, it's not really a good thing. I like to be appreciated for the things I do, but I don't show it. And I love talking to people. *it goes on*
Well, that's just a shitload of information there, but you know, it's for myself. The list goes on, and as long as I know this is what I am like, I'm pretty satisfied I've been doing it naturally. I hope conscience of myself does not become a weapon of restriction instead, because it's useless to think of natural things. For me, thinking about how I breathe is VERY stressful. Better let it flow naturally.
So now, I can pay better attention to you, my friends. You can always count on me, to know everything about you, to realise your little habits and actions, and to feel the person you really are inside. And I shall be able to make that list of you, that is unique only to yourself. I've been doing that all this while anyway. Heh. Take care guys.