Friday, March 24, 2006
"When you first came here and asked to discuss how I approached a problem, I panicked. Because I really don't know. I think it's like asking a centipede which leg comes after which. I have to think a while, try to look back and quote some problems."
- Richard P. Feynman
That's one of the conversations that Richard Feynman and Leonard Mlodinow (a fellow physicist as well) had in the book "Feynman's Rainbow". I think he's such a powerful guy. Never short of words to amaze you. If not in vocabulary, the concept more than makes up for it. Aside from all the theories, the book is interesting. If you ever want to cut it short, just read the conversations, which are italised. It's worth a read.
You know, now I do feel like a centipede, thinking back of all the panicky situations which I couldn't answer for. I'm always worried about a lot of things, and sometimes, it just messes up my mind. I'm even worse under peer pressure, but I try to handle it and calm myself. And now is one of the biggest tests in my life. I'm in a position where mental stress is stretched to the limit, and I feel like giving up. It's so demanding, I'll get fucked up down center with one false move. I can't take it anymore. I have no life in me now. I can't mingle with my friends with the same exuberance, fool around like some monkey, or even give my mind a time-off away from work. 7 months seems damn long with the post I'm holding now. I think everyone's noticed, I'm not that Ahmad from before. I can't answer them, and blame myself for bringing down the mood sometimes when I felt that I could offer more. It's damn irritating to think that I'm holding everybody else's rice bowl right now, with shackles on my hands and legs, and no sense of appreciation. Soon, my neck will be shackled too. Damn it. All they ever want is to cover their asses, because very soon, after tt ONE nsf is gone, the camp will soon wither and rot. I'll be waiting for the day you'll be in my shoes.
What's the line between a girlfriend and a girl-friend? Do we have to severe ties with everyone so as to please our girl? I don't know. My friend is having that problem now, and I feel, it's so wrong. It's not easy being in a relationship, especially when friends are involved. It's like deciding between water or air. You'll die eventually without either one. I wonder too, when I look back, whether I was like that when I was in a relationship. Hmmm.
Now, here are more goodies from youtube. Man, that site is really full of whacked things, if you search well enough. Have a look at these.
1.Freaking crazy. I wonder if too much ktv and mtv create this duo.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4cQ3BoHFas&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b
2.Why english teachers and oral exams make the difference.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWGiU_etTdc&feature=Favorites&page=2&t=t&f=b
3.Webcams can make celebrities out of you.Take notes from these guys.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMf40daefsI&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b
4.For all you harry potter fans.Helps if you like john mayer as well.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmk-o_imGb8&search=john%20mayer
Got more la, but I don't want to be a youtube freak. Go and have a look for yourself. =)
My bed beckons. Nite people.