Sunday, April 30, 2006
Rekindled Memories
Today has been a rather packed day. Went to town to return my overdue book, but due to some miscommunication with wally, I couldn't get to the library to do so in the end. Haha. Oh well, time is still on my side I guess. I shall complete this quest on monday. Why monday? Because tomorrow, I'm having duty!! Argh!! Oh well.After that, went back home with wally to touch on our audition numbers. Played 'Cannonball' by Damien Rice, '3x5' by John Mayer, 'No Such Thing' by John Mayer, 'Doors' by Wally (his own song. not bad), 'Back To You' by John Mayer and some other random songs. In the end, we only performed 'Cannonball' and 'Daughters'. It was a good experience, getting comments from someone not our age and someone who's a total stranger at the cafe. Indeed, I do feel I'm not ready for this. Progressive improvement is my aim. Until I feel that I've reach a decent enough level, maybe I'll come back once again.
Then, it was back to school. Literally. Haha. Went to pay a visit to Nanyang Junior College once again for Synergy. We didn't have tickets, but due to the understanding students there, they were kind enough to let us in. Albeit not having seats, it was still a good enough gesture. Valerie came to join us too, and we met up with xinyu and patricia too. Good to see them all again. You're all looking good. (Does university have some effect??) After the amusing performances, we headed out to serangoon gardens for some munch. Feels like old times. Went to the same place where I ate my worst dare ever. (>.<) Had fun mingling and fooling around with them. I'm getting older, but we're all getting older together. As john mayer said, "Let's grow old together. That might be fun." Haha. I agree.
Think I've spent a little too much today. Not like I've spent much on other days, so it's justifiable. (I hope. Haha.) But I'm improving. Hohoho.Well, that's it. That ends another weekend day. Monday's Labour Day, so hmm, maybe it's not so bad. Good night.
12:40 AM
Friday, April 28, 2006
Manga Disaster
Oh my gosh. This is going to be the greatest disaster ever faced in the world of manga. I mean, what the hell, is this even sane??http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/10750/The_Paris_Hilton_Manga
Oh please, no, burn it!! Haha. I just can't believe it when I saw it. Not even the wonderful world of manga can't save this girl, or any of her kind, to look good. I mean, normally, manga babes are really babes. This is just plain sad. And it's not that looks that is important here. It is the idea of simply having a manga on her. As if dvds and monitors weren't hit hard enough with her sex video. I wonder who created this strip. I can only imagine what's worse than this. An anime version. *gulps*
Slept for only two hours yesterday. It's amazing I'm still up now, with a slight tinge of nausea. It's about time I got back to sleep. If you're wondering what I've been doing, it's got something to do with Kingdom Hearts. That game is simply amazing. I know it's kind of late, but I recently bought Kingdom Hearts 2, and it's better than ever. Woo! Going to play more tomorrow. Good night amigos.
10:26 PM
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Impression
For every person that we know of, and do not, we will always hold a certain level of impression of that person. From a single experience, or a constant exposure to a person, a picture is formed in our minds to acknowledge that person. It can be that you saw someone giving his or her seat to the elderly or pregnant ladies. It might be that you've heard good remarks from people around you, thus the first meeting leads to high expectations of expected proportions. It might be good, it might be bad, but it might not be entirely accurate. All this comes down to your powers of observation and experience. Just how do we exactly judge people?I do not have a good judge of character and all that jazz. What I do know is that I generally give everyone a fair grade in the middle when I first meet them. I do not care if there were bad remarks of a person in the past, or that someone has a buzzing popularity among the public, because it is unfair to speak of someone you do not know of on a personal level. I can hear people say good and bad things of people, but those are their words. How can I possibly bindly take it in and spread it around like some disease? It's just wrong. Hence, it's because of this I like to interact, to slowly come to terms of who this or that person really is. Whether the impression rating rises or dips, it all comes to those moments of interaction.
I've come to realise first impressions are phony. It got me thinking recently. Not that anything bad has happened to me to a point of deception, but, I tend to think that if I've not talked to someone for more than a week's worth in my life, (or around that timeframe), you are basically still talking to a stranger. There's a difference between knowing a name, and knowing the existence behind the name. Do I only know names? Yeah, maybe some. Not that I want it to be that way. There's just not enough points in my life that intersect with these people. I hope to complete the paintings of these people in my life, for they too hold a certain space in my life.
I've been thinking about my future career. Not that I have a job in mind, but I was thinking just what kind of a job would incorporate my interests as a whole. I love physics, photography, journalism, arts, music, robotics and nature. It scares me to think that I still don't have a clear idea on where Mass Communication will take me. I've searched the career prospects in minute details, and the results are not impressive. Is pay really a factor in my life? I hate to admit it, but sometimes, the truth looms. I'd hate to think that my life only holds a financial value instead of personal values, yet, ignorance would be a foolish move. I definitely want to live a fulfilling life, as well as fulfilling the lives of people whom I love. Just how do I mix these two?
Ah. These questions definitely cannot be ignored for long. Somehow, I hope to find my answer.
2:34 AM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Fungus Amongus
Went to the National Skin Center (NSC) recently to have my foot checked. I was originally scheduled to have that appointment to get rid of my wart/corn on my right toe. But the efficient planning and resources of SAF let me suffered another 2 months plus before I could even get rid of it. And to put icing on the cake, by the time my appointment came around, my wart/corn has already come off, after daily removal of layers by using a razor, thanks to my dad. Wow, thanks SAF! The long weeks of pain sure paid off.It was quite embarassing to go for the appointment without a wart to remove, but I did have other skin problems that came around, fortunately. It seems to be a fungal infection on the soles of my feet. Wee! So there, I still get to visit NSC. I was kind of interested what kind of place it was, and it didn't disappoint. Though the exterior looks mighty old, the inside is really high tech. And the staff are really helpful. I'd say hotels may have a run for their money with their kind of service. My only disappointment was not being able to experience having nitrogen sprayed on my wart. I was curious to know how painful it is.
The fungus is kind of irritating. It itches, and it burns. And when you wear shoes, it's just quite irritating. Thankfully, it's not deadly. Oh well, hope it gets better soon.
I calculated the number of days till I ORD. It's 202! Ooh, better make early reservations for fireworks. =)
8:29 PM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Green Arrow Of Doom
I am enternally hating green arrows from now on. You know, that little thing that pops up when a traffic light goes red, telling you to "Go right! Go Right!". It flashes, and then blinks a little bit, and then goes back to its dormant little cave to sleep, and be awoken minutes later. Or so I thought.Haiz, you can probably guess why I even wrote on something like this. Yes, I am sad to announce I've failed my driving test yesterday. I got 30 points, and the green arrow caused me 10 points. I could have passed, but no, I had to encounter that green arrow. Why?! It only just blinked a measly 2 times and just died. What worth is it to have it blink 2 times?? Might as well leave it out right?? Because a time span that short is sure to confuse a few people. I hated it.
Alas, I can't solely blame the green arrow. Maybe, it's for the best. I must say, I was content that my course was perfect, except for moving off in the wrong gear once after an emergency break. Other that that, the only flaw was that green arrow. Here's the story.
I was instucted to turn right at the cross junction. I positioned my car into the right lane, and was prepared to do a right turn. The road was crystal clear, and all seems good. When suddenly, it went red, and the green arrow blinked two times immediately. Where was I at the end of this sequence? Just behind the stop line. So what should I do? Go on and beat the red light? Or stop and stay safe?
I was in a loss of choice to make, alas, choosing safety, in which the driving school name implies (Singapore Safety Driving Cente, SSDC), I stoppped, but ended up halfway on the pedestrian crossing. That cost me ten points. Argh! I could see at that point, the tester had no intention of passing me anymore. Imagine, I had thirty points. Let's do some math here.
I have thirty demerit points.
Let's take away the green arrow penalty.
Thirty minus ten equals twenty.
I can only have eighteen points maximum to pass. So basically, he picked on me for measly things, which could be disregarded. I COULD have passed. Haiz, a fail is a fail. So yeah, buck up and move on I guess. I shall better myself, as some things he said were true about me. My moving off is rather slow. That was the main emphasis he had on me. I will succeed!
The only thing I hate now, is the three months of waiting. My next test date is on tenth july. Once again, I'll have to work hard. For a good cause of course.
Oh, a mass apology to those who I had promised rides. I'll still keep my promise, but I need more time I guess. Wait for me. =)
10:01 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
Frozen
Went ice-skating today, something which I've not done in more than a year, maybe close to two. Haha. It was really a nice feeling, amidst all that cold atmosphere and chilling ice-water below that soaks your feet. What I meant by 'a nice feeling' was concerning the memories that place hold, and the significance of ice-skating in my life.I remembered the first time I tried ice-skating. A friend, josline, introduced it to me, as she and her friends organised a celebration for her cousin's birthday at kallang ice-skating center. (Kallang has no more ice-skating activities as of now. Been gone for quite a long time.) Being a blader, it took me quite a short time to figure out how to maneuver. And soon, I found myself loving ice-skating. Maybe there's just something about me and cold temperatures. I love the cold, which can mean a lot of things if scrutinised in a literature approach. Soon after, I had a frenzy of coming to kallang about twice a month, but it didn't last long, because there was always a limit. Yes my friends, the clue is ka-ching. Alas, every visit with long breaks in between seems special to me, even till now.
It was where I experienced snow. Not literally, and I'm not talking about the foam that sprays out from the ceiling. I'm talking about the scraps of ice powder that lie on the ice ring. I'd gather some up, roll into a ball, and start my rounds of mischief. (You gotta admit, it is rather fun albeit the evil intentions.)
It was where I got to hold hands with a girl I like. (This was in Jurong East.) Don't take it as I did it intentionally and purposely, but you know, beginners need non-beginners to help out, if you know what I mean and put aside that thought of "hey-hey-cheeky-mad". So yeah, holding hands with that girl, it was definitely a nice feeling. (When else can you ever hold the hands of the girl you like besides in a relationship?!)
It was where I could really race around with excitement. There's so many people, it gives me andrenalin to move around at a fast pace while evading scores of other skaters in my path. It's like Burnout, only a lot less speed. It definitely beats beating the traffic in an Orchard underpass on a weekend. There's just no thrill and speed in that. Although, I confess, I do pretend to evade people at times, walking like it's a Walk-a-thon.
It was where I could wear my sweater freely. Haha. Ok, this is rather insignificant, but yeah, Singapore is so hot, it'd be absurd to walk around in a sweater. I love sweaters, and I did wear it at times out in the hot weather here. What a fool I was. Maybe I still am?
So today, while skating, it really brought back a lot of memories. More so because I went with my army buddies, people who had played no part in the previous chapters of my life. I miss everyone who were on the ice ring with me.
Aarti, Kexin, Sherying, Jasmine, Li Yee, Darren, Youxiang, Dai Yuan, Josline, Hui Shen, Hui Ling. I've left out some others, but please don't think you're not important. It's just me. Someday, we'll be back together again on the ring. I'm sure we can all enjoy the cold in our warm, sometimes scorching, Singapore.
"I choose, by choice, of choosing the chosen choices choicingly"
A line I made. Does it make sense?
Oh, 'center' and 'centre' really irritated me these past few months. I finally got down to it and searched the correct words to use in any sentence. Ah, bliss.
Center: Just think of a shopping center.
Centre: Just think of the middle of a circle.
Oh, take a look at this. My friend went and cut a cake in such a wonderful manner. These 3 letters mean a lot to a person like me.
I look forward to it.Shiver me timbers. Port side to my bed side! Goodnight crew!
10:34 PM
Change
Bloggers seem to add a post notifying everyone of the change in blog skin, when it is apparent enough as it is. So I'm just going to join this tradition, or uniformity, for once and say:I've changed my blog skin.
Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.
Hope you like it.
Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.
Come back often.
Yadda yadda.
Bla bla bla.
Etc etc.
Thank you.
Ok, that ends me following the crowd. Here's to me blogging more in future. =)
10:48 AM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Among The Clouds, Beneath The Stars
It is a wonderful feeling, to breathe the air on a level close to the stars. What not to cherish with the stars for company, and a wonderful friend by your side. The wind play their songs without interruptions, away from the noisy drums of the urban world below. I feel like I'm floating, with glee and with love for the world, all in one view. It may not be the highest, nor the most beautiful of views, but it is no doubt a special night, one to be remembered. I'll never forget this feeling, which carried all my doubts and worries away in a single breeze of the wind. It may be temporary, but it is forever burnt in my memory. May more wonderful moments like this come in the future. If it doesn't, I'll just have to go to it. Thank you, for the day, and for the day after.
9:03 PM
Let The Wind Blow It All Away
It's a matter of consequence. We were together for for only less than 8 years, before that fateful day I was taken, carried away like a guni sack filled with food, with drops of salt water that we call tears. I cried, hated and cursed, but that was in the past. And that past is buried.It's a matter of time. I've lived the rest of my years accepting what has become, and what I intend to become. I do not blame anyone, and I hope no one blames me either, but nonetheless, I'm not apologetic for anything, as life goes on. I've gone through this over and over in my mind, and my resolution? To live by nobody's expectations except mine. Just in case you don't get it, 'nobody' includes you.
It's a matter of days. I hate those calls, on which that particular day, or those particular days, in which I'm not in a comfortable position to meet up. I hate last minute meetings with you, because it makes me have to compromise things I've planned in my mind and with friends. I do not disregard you, yet, accept that I'm no longer that 8-year old that you once loved, and love still. I still accept you, and there's nothing against you. Yet, why do you have sad spells thinking otherwise. Get this straight. There's no such feelings harbored.
It's a matter of choice. I wish you'd stop pestering me to meet with you, because things are too awkward between me and you. If it is not for you, it is for my side. I know you can feel it, so do not deny it. I can't face you, not because of shame, but a matter of the individuality of mind that I've reached. So if you asked a question, which means I can give an answer in whatever ways I choose, accept that answer. I thank you for asking, and it is good to know that after all these years, you still place a thought for me. But please, I'm sure your youngest two children deserves this blessing. Shower them with all that you wanted to give me, and make them better as they grow up. You've done what you could have, and I'm thankful. Let me remove that burden and decide for myself the path I want to take. I give my blessings to your new life.
It's a matter of words. I'm sorry if I've hurt you with all this, but I am honest in what I want to say, or in this case, write. It's better than a lie, which you taught me never to say. I've learnt, and I am still rather honest. Be it that you, or someone who is very concerned with you, get a hold of this entry, this is the way it has become. I thank you, and know that, I'll never severe our ties. However, I need the peace of mind, as there's a lot of things in time that I have to handle. It'll be big, and I'll need all the strength I can muster.
You can't please everyone in this world. For what you take from one, you give to another. That is all. I'm tired of having to deal with this in my mind. I still love you for what you are, and for what you were. I've changed. For better or worse, I'm not sure. But I do know, I'm happy the way I am now. But I can't show it to you. Not now.
To my two half-brother and half-sister, though I know I may never meet you, do grow up to be wonderful people. Our path is as distinct as that of the east and west. Will we ever intersect? Maybe. Maybe. For now, I shall remain in the shrouds of mystery.
Goodbye, dad.