La Musique

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Man In The Mirror

Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

I'm gonna make a change,
For once in my life
Its gonna feel real good,
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

As I, turn up the collar on
My favourite winter coat
This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the street,
With not enough to eat
Who am i, to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs

A summers disregard,
A broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
Thats why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
Its time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that theyre not alone?

A willow deeply scarred,
Somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
They follow the pattern of the wind, ya see
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could've been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and
Then make that . . .
Change!

(Shortened version of lyrics.)

I just went to send my dad off to work, and as usual, Class 95.0 FM always gives me good company while on the road. There's nothing better than good music to start the day with. It feels really good to hear all your favourite songs ninety percent of your time. And then, Michael Jackson's 'Man In The Mirror' just came on the radio, and that was it. I just remembered how I had aspirations to bring a smile to everyone's face. In good times, bad times, it was my lifelong dream. And this song really fueled me for a very long time. Just read the lyrics, and you'll probably agree with me that, yeah, he's right. Before you can even make something good out of the world, you have to make something good out of yourself first. People who understand this are contributors with a true heart and intent. Walking around in orchard with a tin can (or in recent cases, a long plastic tube) to collect money for charity doesn't make you any better. If you think that you're just doing it for charity, then you're not grasping the meaning of it.

Here's my take on doing charity. In your mind, you should be thinking of the needy and sickly old people who were abandoned or thrown aside by their children. You should be thinking of the kids elsewhere in the world who are cut off from proper education and the wonders that it offers, something you already have, fortunately. You should be thinking of nations that have poor sanitation and shortage of food, a basic necessity that you bask in everyday, in the clear, clean waters filtered by technology and warm, scrumptious food that is laid on your table everyday. You should be thinking of the kids, who suffer at early stages in their lives, because they do not have the comfort of living like you. Envision skinny little kids from Africa. That always makes me realise that we live in a not-so-equal world. Just thinking of charity organisations clouds the reality.

I'm always reminded of these when I do the simplest of things. Like how my favourite Hotcakes Value Meal can actually feed three kids, and make them extremely happy. How my small collection of Roald Dahl books can make literacy a progress if I were to share and read with the children of the world. All these simple things. I dream of making it big in the future, and, with the large amount of money I earn, contribute to the needy, not through charity organisations, but through self-initiated acts, objectively to make people's lives better. A dream is still a dream, so I hope, with enough power, I can do that someday. For now, I have to settle with that man in the mirror first.

9:41 AM

Monday, December 18, 2006

Experience

In every individual, there will always lie something that will irk a sense of depression and helplessness. It can be a recurring memory, triggered by the observation of certain events or objects. It can be a certain ideal the person upholds, no matter how illogical it may seem to others. It can be a person, who indirectly imposes a sense of superiority above you. It can be you, and it can be me.

I can't help but say that I've been feeling utterly defeated these days. In my quest to search for a job, I feel like I keep slamming into the wall, while the lights are still on, and the sun still generous with her share of light for illumination. And no, I'm not wearing black eye patches over both my eyes. Sure, I'm not exactly a fresh graduate from polytechnic or university, whereby they will have the justified hunger in searching for a job, but still, I want in. It's hard when all you've got are your 'A' Level certificate, junior college testimonial and your NAPFA result slip. Even a resume doesn't seem impressive with that kind of line-up. It does not help that there are quite a substantial jobs that specifically requires, or subtly suggests, the need to know or speak another language here, which in this case, refers to the chinese language. I'm not complaining. It's just, hard for me to meet that requirement, even though I hold a blood relation to that. I feel like jumping out my window now, fall straight to hell, ask the devil for a second chance to do that again, return to my room, take my guitar, rent a private jet, a finally jump off it with only my guitar and pick, and play john mayer songs until I reach my doom. (Note to self: Possible suicide scenario. Sounds cool.)

Anyway, let's get back on track. The reason why I'm writing this is because I got to see a real resume. A top grade one, mind you, with professionalism written on every square inch of it. (Note to self: That might be quite a nice background for a resume. Hmmm) I was in awe the moment I read it. And I must applaud that person, for opening my eyes. For showing that I still have a long road to go in terms of excelling in the working world. Truly, I am thanking you from the bottom of my heart. Although it threw me back down to Earth (okay, maybe a little deeper), I am filled with content to know that you will excel. I'm sure of it. And I know you've worked exceptionally hard for it, and I'm proud of you. This reality check was what I needed to burn that fire in me again. The one I've always had. Competitiveness. I admit, I am that sort of person. Again, I thank you, so please, accept this gratitude from me without a tinge of humility. You truly deserve it.

I shall proclaim this day Resume day. It shall be a public holiday once I become the nation's president. In view of such a joyous occasion, the best resume of the year shall be picked and written in gold paper, with a circular stamp of 'Excellent' with five stars by me (yes, the primary school edition), and shall be preserved in the National Museum. The person will receive the medal of honour for his/her bravery in writing such a daring resume, and shall be rewarded with a 10D/10N stay in Europe, in any country he chooses, accompanied by a butler for personal needs, a banker for financial needs and a lawyer, just in case he/she gets into trouble.

If you've read this far, you should know, I'm talking gibberish on that last part. Or am I? (Start voting for my presidency now?)

8:46 PM

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Need Some Sleep

I Need Some Sleep by Eels

I need some sleep
It can't go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I'm in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning 'round
Everyone says I'm getting' down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

Just like it says, I need some sleep. It's been quite an adventure for me, or more of a struggle, as I lived my days in nights. I've broken my records quite superbly, sleeping past three in the morning at first, then four, five, six and sometimes, it stretches to eight in the morning. There was one day I never slept until the day after. This lifestyle is consuming me quite badly. I'm dazed and weak in the day, and disgustingly alert at night. I guess I'm in a loss of control for myself, ever since the bars of freedom have been knocked down, giving me the free will to do just about anything I want, whenever I want. I'm not in resentment of it, strangely. It feels good to live through the nights of peace and solace. Where there's hardly a sound, and you're left in your own little world of thoughts. It feels as if you're the last person alive.

Loneliness does not bother me much. Do not mistake me for being unsociable. I enjoy the company of friends, as much as the small and big activities that follow. But I've been so used to it that it seems like a normal everyday life by now. It's been quite like that since I was young.

During the primary school days, after school, I always come straight home, greeted by the empty room and spaces. There was always no one in the day, as my parents go off to work, for money to support the family, and my sister, at her secondary school. I'd either occupy the day doing my homework, daydreaming or with the toys, plotting fights between heroes such as Captain Planet and the Mighty Morphing Power Ranger's Megazord. There was only a short time when there was actually someone there. We had a maid for a short time, but she went crazy soon after. And no, I'm not the cause of it.

Secondary school saw me move to my current house. Again, I spent much of my early years alone at home, occupying myself with homework, or other forms of entertainment. I guess those many years really made me who I am today. I actually spend more time with myself or friends than with my family. I still love my mum and dad, but there is only so much I can relate to with them. The ones who saw me grow were my friends, and I would like to thank them ever so much for being there.

Still, I'd like to dedicate this blog to my mum and dad, for always working so hard to support me, even if they were never really there most of the time. Through their absence, it allowed me to mature.

I understood, that money was never an easy thing to come by. I stopped asking them to buy anything for me, even through the countless times they asked and insisted.

I understood, that work is one tiring curriculum. I never imposed myself on them whenever they came home, putting up a smile to shield their fatigue.

I understood, that they only want what is best for their child. I worked hard on my studies, to give them grades to prove to them that it was worth it all the while.

I understood.

I keep my words of gratitude sealed within me. But I hope, it reaches you somehow. Thank you. I was never lonely after all.

9:35 PM

Monday, December 04, 2006

The Pick Of Destiny

I just went to watch Tenacious D's 'The Pick Of Destiny' the other day. Maybe it's because I'm a fellow guitarist who knows of Jack Black's and Karl Gass' insanely humorous style of guitar playing and singing that compels me to watch. It was not bad. You'll like all the weird guest appearances and songs.

I don't know. When it comes to music, and it involves a guitar, I become highly interested to find out more about it: I strain my ear to hear even the lightest sounds of the guitar in the background in any song; I observe any other guitarists intensively to study their level of skill and accuracy; I get mildly irritated when I see someone playing the chords wrongly for songs I know of; I get very annoyed by people who try to play John Mayer songs, and any other artistes I know of, but end up making it sound like thrash. (Wally, you know who I'm talking about. The Heeren's, remember?) I'm not an expert, but I respect songs enough to play as true to it as possible, with a little improvisation here and there. I guess there's freedom in music, as long as it sounds like music right?

In any case, have a look at this. It's something I did while I was at wally's house. I was kind of motivated by the videos of people playing covers in youtube, using their small camcorders or camera phones to record while they're playing, and then posting it online, vulnerable to any form of comments from just about anyone. It's not something I'd like to flaunt about, but yeah, have a look and comment if you want. I tried to play as close to the original as I could. Wally did the singing.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=twPcbodAj9A


Well, not much to talk about these days. Call it a mental block. I've been playing Final Fantasy XII continuously for close to a week now. Playing hard into the night until I see the light of day. I was a hardcore gamer then, and seems like I haven't lost the touch. Heh. Well, look at is this way. The faster I finish it, the faster I can get to doing other stuff in waiting. That's it for now.

7:31 PM